Page 49 of One More Sleepless Night

‘How dare you just brush me off like that?’

He shrugged. ‘Because I know what I’m talking about.’ The condescension in his voice made her want to slap him. ‘It happened to me. In my marriage. I thought I married for love. It turned out to be nothing more than lust.’

‘And you think that’s what’s going on here?’

‘If it’s not dependency, then very possibly. Have you ever been in love before?’

‘Well, no, but—’

‘Then how do you know that what you claim to feel for me isn’t love, but simply lust?’

And once again he rendered her speechless. She just sat there, totally bamboozled by his logic and unable to breathe. She felt winded, as if he’d struck her square in the chest.

And then sensation came flooding back, and all that hurt and disappointment and frustration at his reaction now combined with dizzying and unfamiliar red hot anger, and the whole lot of it surged through her in one great unstoppable wave.

‘I’ll tell you how I know,’ she said, feeling what little control she had when it came to him slipping away but too consumed by all the emotions tossing around inside her to do anything about it. ‘I know because even if we never made love again I’d still want to be with you. I know because I admire you and respect you and because I think you’re amazing. Yes, I love the way you make me feel, but it’s so much more than that.’ She glared at him. ‘And you know how I really know it’s love and not lust?’

‘How?’ he said, sounding as if he couldn’t be less interested.

‘By the way that your casual dismissal of what I feel is practically crucifying me.’

Rafael went still, but he didn’t look at her. ‘If I’ve hurt you, then I apologise, but perhaps it’s for the best.’

‘For the best?’ she echoed.

‘Better now than months down the line.’

God, she really had got it wrong, hadn’t she? Terribly, agonisingly wrong. ‘Are you honestly saying that you feel nothing for me?’

Rafael frowned. ‘I wouldn’t say nothing. I like you a lot and I can’t get enough of you in bed. But as I said, that’s just lust.’

‘And what about if sex wasn’t part of the equation?’

‘I would rapidly lose interest.’

His voice might be flat and cold but the muscle ticcing madly in his jaw suggested he wasn’t as unaffected as he was trying to make out, and suddenly a tiny ray of hope burst through the tangle of hurt and confusion and anger within her. ‘I don’t believe you.’

He shrugged. ‘That’s up to you.’

As all the things he’d done for her, the way he’d held her, made love to her, talked to her flashed through her head she took a deep breath and a massive gamble. ‘I think you love me too.’

‘You couldn’t be more wrong, because I don’t.’

She let out that breath in a furious exasperated rush, suddenly utterly fed up with him. ‘God, I’ve never met such a stubborn, thick-headed man in my life. Nor one who is such an emotional coward.’

That jerked him out of his indifference. He snapped his gaze to hers, his eyes blazing. ‘What?’

Nicky gripped her seat belt and refused to quail. ‘You’re an emotional coward, Rafael.’

He snapped his gaze back to the road. ‘What the hell do you mean by that?’

‘Every time the going gets tough, every time something crops up that you don’t want to deal with, you retreat.’

‘I do not.’

‘No?’ she said. ‘OK, well, let’s take a look at the evidence.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous. There is no evidence.’

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