Page 45 of One More Sleepless Night

‘It’s just as well I’m not blonde, beautiful, temperamental or difficult, then, isn’t it?’ she said, flashing him a teasing smile.

Rafael stared at her, bewilderment flickering across his face. ‘What?’

‘Well, when this is over we should be able to part as friends, don’t you think? I certainly don’t intend to lose Gaby’s friendship over it.’

For a moment there was utter silence and Nicky wondered what she’d said. Then Rafael seemed to pull himself together and shot her a quick stomach-melting smile. ‘This is quite different,’ he said, and signalled for the bill.

*

It was different, thought Rafael, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans and leaning back against a low wall as he watched Nicky hunker down at the bottom of some steps and lift her camera to her eye.

And thank God for it because his relationship with Marina had been a disaster. A complete disaster, and not just because they’d been young and had had precious little in common. Yes, those had obviously been contributing factors to the breakdown of their marriage, but what had really been at the heart of it all was Marina’s clinginess and neediness and his inability to handle any of it.

With hindsight he should have foreseen problems right from the start, or at least the minute he’d learned about her overprotective parents, the sheltered life she’d led and her desperate longing to escape.

If he’d been thinking straight he’d have paid attention to the great neon warnings his brain kept flashing at him and steered well clear, but in all honesty they’d met and he’d been so dazzled by her looks he’d stopped thinking at all.

It hadn’t helped that meeting her had coincided with his return to Spain after years of hard academic work and little play. He’d been demob happy and hell-bent on making up for lost time and she’d been only too willing to help. So he hadn’t stopped to think about what effect their whirlwind romance might have had on her and it had never occurred to him that she’d start to view him as some sort of saviour.

But she had, and before long the signs of her dependency on him had become apparent. She’d turned possessive, jealous and obsessive, calling him a dozen times a day just to check where he was and what he was doing. She’d stopped seeing the few friends she had and tried to stop him seeing the friends he had.

He’d unwittingly found himself responsible for her happiness and he hadn’t known what to do. And then it had got even worse because by the time he realised how needy and stifling she’d become—and how unhappy he made her—he’d also realised that he’d confused lust with love and that by marrying her he’d made a massive mistake.

And the awful guilt-inducing truth of the matter was that he hadn’t even thought about trying to sort things out, trying to make it work, because ultimately he hadn’t cared. Not during their fiercest arguments, not when Marina had had the affair and not even when she’d filed for divorce.

In fact the bureaucratic nightmare of the divorce had given him a greater headache than his marriage had, and the distress it had caused his sister, who’d been torn between her brother and her best friend, had given him greater heartache.

Which was so wholly wrong he’d vowed never to let himself get into that kind of a situation again. Never again was he going to mistake lust for love, thought Rafael, narrowing his eyes and setting his jaw as he watched Nicky, who was totally absorbed in what she was doing. Nor did he intend to ever get himself into a relationship where he might find himself depended on. For anything. The responsibility of it all was simply too great and he’d only screw up. Again.

And that was why being with Nicky was so refreshing. He admired the way she kept her cards close to her chest, had the ability to sort things through in her own head and didn’t ask anything of him. Above all he appreciated the way he could be himself, the way he didn’t feel he had to be constantly on his guard in case she wanted more than he was able to give, because she never would.

The though

t of pursuing a more long-term relationship with her popped up in his head once again and his muscles tensed and his heart beat a fraction faster as the need to get started on it right now surged up inside him.

What was the point in waiting? In deliberating? There wasn’t any, was there? Because it seemed to him that she was just as into this as he was, and he didn’t think she’d say no. At least he fervently hoped she wouldn’t.

Rafael was just about to push himself off the wall and head towards her when he saw her shoot to her feet, take a quick step back and crash straight into a group of tourists who’d gathered behind her and were listening to the guide gesticulating at the memorial she’d been photographing.

If he’d had time to think about it—and if it had been anyone else other than Nicky—he’d have expected her to brush herself off, give them a quick smile and a heartfelt apology and then stroll back to him.

But he didn’t have time to think because it all happened so fast. So fast in fact that his brain slowed it right down.

He watched as Nicky froze and went white and then stumbled, and within what felt like aeons but could only have been a split second the little group was closing round her, hands reaching out to steady her.

As alarm began to flash through him he heard her cry of distress. Saw her lash out, and as he realised what was going on he didn’t stop to think or consider his actions. He just reacted.

With his heart pounding as fiercely as he bet hers was and with adrenalin suddenly roaring through him, he raced over. Muttering a rough apology, he pushed his way through the crowd to where Nicky was standing, pale, sweating and shaking. He wrapped one arm around her waist, the other around her shoulders and drew her into a firm embrace.

‘It’s all right. You’re OK,’ he murmured against her hair, every cell of his body turning inside out with the need to absorb her panic and give her some of his strength. ‘Lean on me. I’ve got you.’

THIRTEEN

I’ve got you.

As Rafael tightened his grip on Nicky’s waist and led her away from the group of people and their curiosity at her extraordinary reaction to their mini collision, the words he was murmuring into her hair over and over spun round and round her head because now all the panic and confusion had evaporated it suddenly struck her that he did get her. He really did.

There she’d been a moment ago, surrounded and trapped and in the terrifying grip of a flashback, her heart hammering and panic drowning out the voice of common sense that was telling her the hands on her were only trying to steady her and that she wasn’t in any danger. And then, just when her knees had been about to give way, just when she’d thought she’d been about to faint and almost falling apart at the awareness that she still wasn’t as over everything as she’d thought, there he’d been, charging to her rescue like some kind of white knight, taking her into his arms and shielding her from the nightmare, warm and solid and so very reassuring.

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