Page 48 of One More Sleepless Night

‘Aren’t you going to say anything?’ she asked, when the deafening silence finally became unbearable.

‘What do you want me to say?’

At the complete lack of emotion in his voice it dawned on her that this conversation was unlikely to go the way she’d have liked, and Nicky filled with apprehension. ‘I don’t know,’ she said, suddenly feeling all shaky inside. ‘How about thank you? I’m flattered. I love you too. Something.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he said flatly, ‘but you don’t love me.’

For a moment she thought she must have misheard, but no, he really had just told her that she didn’t love him.

As it sank in Nicky felt her eyes widen and her jaw drop because of all the responses she could have imagined an outright denial of her feelings would never have occurred to her. ‘What?’ she breathed.

‘You don’t love me. You just think you do.’ He shot her a quick unfathomable look. ‘I’m not some kind of white knight, Nicky.’

She blinked. ‘I know you’re not.’

‘Do you?’ His jaw tightened.

‘Of course.’ She might have had a moment of fancy back there in the square but that was all it had been because she knew perfectly well that, not only did Rafael have feet of clay like everyone else, but she didn’t need a knight.

‘I can’t be responsible for your well-being.’

Confusion spun through her. Had she missed something? Had they had a conversation she’d forgotten about? They must have done because where was all this coming from? How on earth had they got from her telling him she loved him to this? And where had this God complex suddenly sprung from? ‘What makes you think you are?’

‘Your comment about needing me around whenever you find yourself in a crowd.’

‘That was a joke.’

‘It didn’t sound like one.’

And maybe it hadn’t been one totally, but that wasn’t the point. ‘I see,’ she said, folding her arms over her chest and feeling her blood beginning to simmer in response to his baffling attitude. ‘And you’ve deduced from that that I’ve somehow cast you in the role of knight in shining armour?’

‘Haven’t you?’

‘Of course not.’

‘It wouldn’t be your fault if you had.’ His face tightened. ‘This last week has been a mistake,’ he muttered, almost as if talking to himself. ‘My mistake.’

Did he really believe that? The hurt that suddenly cut through her momentarily robbed her of breath. ‘Why?’

‘Because I’ve let you become dependent on me and I shouldn’t have.’

She let out a slow measured breath to stop the top of her head blowing off. ‘You know, your arrogance is truly staggering,’ she said, staring at him in stupefaction as all the lovely warmth and the dizzying sense of wonder that had been bubbling away inside her for the last hour or so evaporated.

Rafael whipped his head round to give her a quick glance and she saw astonishment written all over his face. ‘What?’

‘I’m perfectly capable of being responsible for my own well-being,’ she said, silently adding, You jerk. ‘Like it or not, I’m in love with you.’ Although right now she really wished she weren’t. ‘And it has nothing to do with my recovery or dependency or whatever you think you’ve been doing over the last week.’

‘You can’t be,’ he said flatly. ‘We haven’t known each other long enough. You’re confusing love and lust, that’s all.’

Nicky fought not to gape at him as her head spun. What the hell was going on here? Who was this? Where was the Rafael she’d fallen in love with? The warm, thoughtful man who’d made her laugh and who’d made such passionate love to her. The one she’d got to know and admire. He had to still be there somewhere but why had he switched himself off like this?

And then suddenly a great wave of hurt and disappointment swept through her, boiling her blood and firing her indignation. If he didn’t feel the same way about her as she did about him that was fine. Painful, but fair enough. But this casual and cold dismissal of her feelings? No, that wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair.

‘How dar

e you?’ she breathed.

‘What?’ he said, casting her a quick cool glance as if he genuinely didn’t have a clue what she meant.

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