Page 46 of One More Sleepless Night

She hadn’t had to ask for his help. She hadn’t had to spell it out. He’d somehow instinctively known what was wrong, and he’d put it right.

He’d got it.

He got her.

And not only a second ago, she thought dazedly as Rafael leaned back against the wall of the church and held her tight still murmuring soothing words into her hair. The truth of it was that over the last week he’d often appeared to be able to read her mind, apparently understanding exactly what she needed—whether it was space, silence or company—sometimes even before she did. And she’d been able to gauge his moods too.

It was as if they had some kind of connection and the weird thing was that, far from finding it unsettling as she should have done, she’d actually revelled in it. Which meant that not only did he get her, but that she wanted him to.

As that thought slammed into her head Nicky’s slowing heart began to race all over again because hot on the heels of it came a whole load more, cascading into her head so fast that she went dizzy.

Oh, dear Lord. The attention and care he’d lavished on her in the last few days? She loved it. The feeling of being cherished, protected, looked after? She loved all that too. And as for the way he’d just rushed to her rescue, well, that melted just about every independent feminist thought she’d ever had.

She ought to have found it stifling, but she didn’t. She ought to have been horrified that it went against everything she’d ever thought she’d valued, but she found she couldn’t drum up much objection to that either.

And why not?

Because she was head over heels bonkers in love with him.

Nicky froze, her pulse going berserk and her knees threatening to buckle all over again.

She was in love with him. She had to be. What else could account for it all?

She’d never really thought about falling in love. Never imagined she would. Never expected it. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in it as a concept, and it wasn’t as if she hadn’t had a good example of it set by her parents. It was just that she’d never felt it herself before. She’d always been too busy to look for it. Too focused on staying on the move and remaining unattached.

But not any more because now she was thinking about it she was beginning to realise that she loved everything about him. And it had nothing whatsoever to do with the mind-blowing sex, because even when they weren’t in bed she still had that wonderfully warm sense of contentment. Every time he smiled at her, every time he looked at her and every time he touched her. In fact every time he crossed her mind her heart turned over and she went soft and warm inside.

If that wasn’t love, then what was it?

And just like that all those things that had been baffling her recently suddenly made sense. Her lack of enthusiasm about going back to Paris. The longing to learn everything there was to know about him. The brief jagged pain that scythed through her at the thought of them being over. The wrenching of her heart when she’d caught sight of the couple floating out of the church not five minutes ago, beaming and radiating happiness and wrapped round each other as they posed for photographs beneath a Mudéjar arch. And the couple of dark-haired green-eyed children she’d secretly imagined racing around the cortijo…

As her muscles gently collapsed beneath the deluge of emotion descending over her Nicky sank against him. God. Not a fan of emotional mess? Who had she been kidding? She’d never wanted it more. She wanted the roller coaster of the ride. The highs and the lows, the laughter and the arguments. She was bone-deep tired of being footloose and fancy free, of the endless travel and being alone. She wanted to settle down. She wanted someone to share her life with. She wanted Rafael.

Her heart thumped as her mind raced. But what about him? How did he feel about her? Could she even begin to hope he might love her back? Yes, she’d noticed his concern for her, the way he’d cared for her, the warmth with which he looked at her, but did any of that mean anything? Surely it had to mean something…

Listening to the steady beat of his heart beneath her cheek and taking strength from the arms around her and the warm hard body still supporting her, she sifted through all the evidence, analysing every look and every smile he’d given her, every little thing he’d said and done, and her heart thumped wildly as she came to the conclusion that he very well could.

And OK, from what she’d just learned about his marriage of course he’d be wary of loving again and wary of commitment, but maybe she could show him that with someone who understood him, with her, he needn’t be.

Nicky closed her eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling the intoxicating scent of him as she struggled to absorb all these earth-shattering discoveries and would have swayed had she not been locked in his embrace.

‘Would you like to go home?’ he said softly.

And just when she thought her system couldn’t cope with any more shocks, wham, there was another one, because didn’t home sound like the most heavenly thing ever?

She’d never had a home before. Never wanted one. If she’d ever thought about it she’d have shuddered at the idea of anything so permanent. So cosy. So boringly domestic. But that long-held belief went the way of the others and exploded into smithereens because right now she couldn’t think of anywhere she’d rather be than with Rafael. At home. For ever.

Feeling that the world had somehow tilted violently and then settled back down all upside down, Nicky dazedly leaned back in his arms, smiled up into his eyes and said, ‘Yes, please.’

*

The fact that Nicky didn’t seem to have anything to say during the car journey back to the cortijo suited Rafael down to the ground because there was so much stuff churning around in his head he didn’t think he’d be able to hold anything remotely resembling a conversation even if she’d wanted one.

At some point between taking her in his arms to lead her to safety and getting in the car something had changed. What precisely it was he couldn’t work out. All he knew was that something was different, it was deeply unsettling and for some reason it threw his idea of a long-term relationship with Nicky right on its head.

He’d been leaning back against that wall and holding her close when he’d felt her stiffen, then soften. All of a sudden it had seemed to him that she was pressing just that little bit closer and not because she wanted to get horizontal and naked with him but because she wanted to simply be with him.

For some reason the idea of it had made him reel. It had made him prickle with foreboding and fill with trepidation. And then, before he’d had time to recover and to reassure himself that he was merely still shaken up by what he’d seen Nicky just go through and must have imagined it, she’d smiled up at him, her eyes shining and her face all soft and dreamy. She’d looked at him as if he were her knight in shining armour and his heart had given a sudden lurch because at that moment tough, resilient, independent Nicky had been replaced by someone he didn’t recognise.

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