Page 36 of A Glimpse of Music

“But what if he can’t? What if they don’t let us into the forest? What if there is no cure for this?” She pointed to her chest. “It will be a waste.”

“Not to me.”

They stared back at each other, a silent battle in their eyes. No matter what she said or did, she would never win. Hell, he was more stubborn than she was. If, after around eight years, he could still harbor feelings for her, he was sure he could outlast any argument she made.

No feelings! His chest ached along with his shoulder at the reminder.

“Mama!” Maisy’s voice startled them both out of their silent battle. “Look how big the snowflakes are!”

Nyana closed her eyes and breathed deeply through her nose. When she opened them again, the fire still smoldered within their blue depths. “We are not done talking about this,” she hissed with a finger pointed between his eyes.

As she joined Maisy at the cave’s entrance, her entire countenance changed. Her pinched, worried expression softened. The blaze in her eyes melted away to a fond warmth. Through the blazing fire erupting across his skin, he watched them interact with a smile on his face. He would do anything to keep his wonderful family. Anything at all.

His fever dragged him down beneath the blazing waters of sleep with the thoughtful hope still clinging to his heart. He woke sometime later to the darkness, the fire still roaring to life in the middle of the cave. Both Eva and Maisy lay huddled beneath a blanket, fast asleep. He nearly expected to find Nyana with them. Instead, he noticed her leaning against the cave’s entrance as she watched the snow fall outside.

“You need to sleep,” he said.

She jumped and turned her head to look at him. The dark circles beneath her eyes appeared even darker from lack of sleep. “We have two remaining blankets. Maybe a change of clothes each. I won’t allow the fire to dwindle and the children to freeze.”

“But you will allow me to freeze?” he teased.

With a roll of her eyes, she cast him a scathing glare. “It’s different.”

“I know.” He grunted, pushing through the pain and the waxing fever to reach for another log and add it to the flames. “Go ahead and sleep. I’ll keep the fire going.”

“I’m too worried to sleep.”

He understood all too well. How many sleepless nights had he endured from worry over his family’s safety back home?

When Nyana handed him a cloth filled with snow, he gratefully accepted it and pressed it against his forehead. The chill relieved the fever, but only barely.

He swallowed as he stared at the flames. A new desire crept up within him. A desire to grow closer to the woman he called his wife. A desire to share. To bleed his soul dry for her. Even the darkest parts of himself.

“I killed people,” he said huskily, referring to his black tattoos.

Across the fire, Nyana tensed but otherwise waited for him to speak again.

“I was barely holding myself together after Genica was killed. And then Liam’s soldiers found me and my family in our flight out of the city. My father stayed behind to give us a chance to flee. They killed him. I scouted the path ahead at the time when the soldiers came. And when I returned…” Emotion lodged in his throat, and when he spoke again, his voice got stuck. “I shouldn’t have left. They killed my mother and sister. Nana got the others out of there. Seeing them like that…” He swiped a hand across his cheek, only for his fingers to return with moisture on them. “It broke me the rest of the way. I hunted the soldiers down. I slaughtered them in my rage. It was shameful. Disgraceful. Dishonorable. I am ashamed of myself for exacting revenge when I should have been with my remaining family. My black tattoos are well-deserved.”

Finally, he lifted his gaze to find her watching him, the flickering flames a barrier between them. “I feel guilty for marrying you, knowing that you deserve so much better.”

Instead of putting more space between them, she moved a little closer until only a few feet separated them. “I’m terribly sorry to hear about your losses. I wish I had done something more to stop it. I wish I had done something more as Queen.”

“Your hands were tied.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose, not speaking for a long minute. Finally, she said, “I poisoned Liam.”

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. And confusion. “You what?”

“I poisoned him. I was the only person able to get close enough. I bought the poison from a shady apothecary. Smuggled it into the castle. I watched as he stopped breathing. As he turned blue. I had never felt more wretched in my life.” She began massaging her temples. “I was caught by his guards. They managed to give him an antidote in time. He recovered. And when he did…” Her shoulders shuddered. “He punished me by slowly and agonizingly cutting up my back with a knife. I’m sure the entire castle heard my screams. No one came to help.”

A mix of horror, anger, and sadness welled up within him. “Your tattoos,” he breathed.

With a nod of confirmation, she said, “Yes. After Liam’s death, Cian offered to change their color. I declined. Black accurately reflected what I did. What I felt inside.”

A lump formed in his throat as he tore his gaze away from her to stare into the fire. “I wish I practiced necromancy to bring him back to life just so I can kill him again.” His head shot up as a thought crossed his mind. A horrible, sickening thought. “How long ago was this? Were you pregnant?”

Her entire body froze, her eyes wide before ducking her head into her arms. Shortly after, her shoulders began shaking. He thought he saw dark drops splatter on the ground.

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