Page 30 of A Wedding in Tuscany

‘Maybe we can swat it?’ he replies. They throw each other a look.

‘What? What does that mean? That look?’ I ask, frantically. ‘Is that secret men’s code for, “I have no bloody idea what I’m doing”?’

‘Pretty much,’ says Josh.

‘Wonderful.’ Just then, the wasp leaves the air-conditioning unit and flies directly at us. We scatter and there’s unbearably loud shrieking?all right, that may have come from me.

We are now congregated in a tight clump, backs to the wall and watching the bloody wasp-beast, who appears to be having a lovely time wandering about the gauzy net curtains. If it weren’t so terrifying, I’d be laughing at how pathetic we are?four humans versus one (freakishly large) insect and all of us paralysed with fear. All right?again, that may just be me.

Sarah breaks away from us and starts creeping towards it. Oh, god. ‘Sez, what are you doing?’ I ask.

‘I have an idea.’ She moves slowly, deliberately, gathering the bottom of the curtain in her fist. Then in a flurry of movement, she rapidly twirls the curtain, trapping the wasp inside the folds. ‘Right, Josh, you go outside and open the door.’

He runs out of the room, down the hallway, and out to the balcony, and is soon at the double glass doors, peering in. He opens the one on the right. ‘Okay.’

‘I’m going to pass you this,’ she says, indicating the fistful of curtain, ‘then we’re going to close the door, trapping the wasp outside.’ Brilliant. My sister is a genius. There’s a brief moment where the wasp tries to escape the gauze and its buzzing is so loud, it startles Josh and he nearly drops the curtain. But the plan works and soon our bedroom is wasp-beast free.

‘Oh, my god,’ I say. I expel an enormous sigh then perch on the edge of the bed, catching my breath.

Josh returns to the room, passing Sarah on her way out. ‘Where are you going?’ I call.

‘Not finished yet,’ she calls back.

We exchange curious looks and moments later, Sarah untwists the curtain and flicks it until the wasp buzzes off into the night. Jean-Luc opens the door and Josh scoops her up into an embrace. ‘You’re a bad-ass, babe,’ Josh declares proudly. She beams at him.

‘Now we can go to bed,’ she says.

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