Page 68 of A Mutually Beneficial Proposal

Apparently, avoiding my problems until Monday isn’t going to be an option.

I get out of my car and close the door so I can lean against it. When I look closer at Gavin, his golden eyes are red with dark circles beneath them. The buttons on his shirt are out of line, and his khaki pants are wrinkled. I almost feel bad he’s so out of sorts, but I don’t.

“What do you want, Gavin?” I ask when he stands there silently.

“I want to apologize,” he replies.

I laugh. “I don’t need your apologies. I just need you to leave me alone.”

He shoves his hands in his pockets and rocks back and forth on his heels. “Listen, I fucked up, and I know I don’t deserve you back, but I just needed you to know I’ve felt like shit ever since that day. I wasn’t seeing that chick and I don’t intend to in the future, regardless of what happens between us. I regret ever talking to her.”

I let out a small sign. “While I appreciate the gesture, this doesn’t change anything, Gavin. Our relationship is over. I can forgive you and move on, but not with you.”

His jaw hardens and he nods. “I figured, but I had to try. You’re an incredible woman, Ella. I’m sorry I didn’t make you feel that way when I had the opportunity.”

His words cut almost as deeply as his betrayal. If he’d spoken to me this way when we were together, I might have cared for him more, but after looking back, I realize we were more like roommates with benefits than we ever were a couple.

“Thank you,” I say earnestly.

He stands there, looking at everything other than me. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”

I watch his retreating form and breathe a sigh of relief. It’s done. I have my closure with Gavin and can truly move on. Whatever there was between us, it’s officially over. I had wanted to postpone that moment, but only because I was afraid. Now that it’s passed, that fear is gone and I feel so much lighter.

I gave Gavin two years of my life, and I was furious when he cheated, but thinking about that night with a clearer mind, I was madder at myself. Mad for letting him stay so long and mad for not knowing when to walk away from the relationship neither of us were overly happy in.

Maybe I’d been wrong in wanting a weekend alone. Maybe I should have spent this time facing my problems so I can start anew all that much sooner. Hell, maybe I’d even been wrong running from what happened in Saint Lucia. Except it’s too late to worry about that.

Owen isn’t here. He isn’t even reaching out anymore. If I was as important as I thought I was to him, I would have heard from him again, regardless of whether I’d been ignoring his prior attempts.

I need to forget about the feelings I was trying to deny for him and remember that there’s nothing wrong with being alone and happy with myself. If, or when, I ever cross paths with Owen Porter again, I’ll at least know that facing him is better than running.

After I get back in my car, I send off a text to Piper and Kenzie, summarizing what happened before beginning to back out of the garage. I’m not even out of the driveway before I hear the ping of a response.

Kenzie: I’m so fucking proud of you, Ella. You are a woman to be admired. Go kick ass at bungee jumping…and please don’t die. I love you!

I wait a second longer, but when there isn’t anything immediate from Piper, I know she’s busy with work stuff, which I hope for her is a good thing.

Without anything else to stop me, I reverse the rest of the way and head to the bridge where I hope to let go of the rest of my worries.

Today is going to be a great day. I won’t let it be any other way.

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