Page 5 of A Mutually Beneficial Proposal

When I turn my head, a male agent is holding up—you guessed it—my carry-on.

I sigh and raise my hand once the woman is done searching me.

“Meet me at the counter, ma’am.” He’s fighting a grin, and something tells me I’m not going to like what he says next.

He sits my closed bag on the counter and leans over it, getting closer to me before he whispers, “Your friend set off a chemical alarm. I’m sure it’s harmless, but we have to um, inspect it. Is there anything sharp in your suitcase I need to worry about?”

“My friend? What do you mean?” I ask. Even though I have no idea what he’s talking about, dread is making me want to vomit.

He clears his throat, covering one side of his mouth before whispering, “The toy you packed? The adult one.”

“The what?!” I nearly shout, and heads turn my way.

I’m going to murder Kenzie. Literally fucking murder her. I don’t care if she’s been my best friend since fifth grade. She. Is. Dead. To. Me.

“We just have to swab it and make sure there’s no threat in having it on the plane. Glycerin in certain items can trigger our machines from time-to-time,” he says as if he’s trying to make me feel better.

“Just throw it away. Please. I did not pack that.”

His face turns serious, and he pulls my suitcase further away from me. “Did you leave your baggage unattended, ma’am?”

Great. Now he probably thinks the dildo is a mother-freaking bomb.

People are full-on gawking at me now, and I wish it was possible to die of embarrassment like I’d pictured when my traitorous best friend mentioned bringing a B.O.B.

I want this moment to be over more than my next breath. No, I need it to be.

“No. My best friend thinks she’s funny and must have packed it for me before we left my house this morning. It’s not dangerous, but I also don’t want you to test it or leave it in my bag. Please, have mercy on me and throw the damn thing away.”

I don’t even know what dildo it is. Hell, it might not even be mine, but I don’t care to even see the sex toy to find out. Mostly because if I can see it, then the people getting too curious around me will be able to as well. Nosy bastards.

“I still have to get it out of your bag and test it before you’re allowed to board,” he says, also noticing we’ve gathered a crowd.

I cover my face and mumble, “Just do what you have to and let me be on my way.”

The zipper opens, and I keep my eyes closed. One person gasps a second later, then another laughs, followed by a whistle until another woman tells him to shut up.

Maybe she could be my new best friend. There’s a vacancy in the spot currently.

My bag is closed, and the TSA agent shoves it closer to me. “I hope you have a good trip, ma’am.”

I finally look at him again. He’s grinning and no longer trying to hide his amusement at my expense.

My fingers grip the side handle of my bag, and I jerk it from the counter before heading to grab my purse and tennis shoes off the end of the conveyor belt.

I don’t bother to stay in the security area to put my shoes on. Instead, I walk past several gates in only my socks until I find an empty section. Only then do I face the window and fall into the seat.

I want to laugh. I want to cry. I want to scream.

Though, I don’t do any of those things. I robotically tie my shoes and take a deep breath before pulling my phone from my purse. I consider calling Kenzie, but I don’t think I can handle her laughter right now. I send her a short text, instead.

Me: You’re dead to me.

Then, I turn my phone on airplane mode and toss it back into the black hole of my purse. Serves her right to think I’m actually pissed at her. As much as I want to be, I know in a few weeks—or maybe months—I’ll be laughing my ass off about this. Today just isn’t that day.

I grab my stuff again and double check my gate number, along with how long I have until boarding. I have just enough time to grab a water and a muffin before they’ll begin calling passengers.

Without any other issues, I get what I want and make it to my gate, only to see my name on the screen behind the counter for the airline.

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