Page 38 of A Mutually Beneficial Proposal

Ella

I dida lot of thinking on the beach after I got off the phone with Kenzie and Piper. My walk was exactly what I needed, and my mind is clearer than it has been in days.

While I still think my earlier panic was justified, I’ve come to the conclusion that it was also unnecessary. I’m a grown-ass woman, and just because Owen lives in the same area as me doesn’t mean we’re going to jump into a relationship that I’m not ready for. Plus, if I’m going to prevent the same shit from happening over and over again, then I need to learn to say what’s on my mind instead of holding back.

I’ve never had the vagina to do that in my past. So, this is me being a new woman who doesn’t get cheated on and left damaged.

“What do you want to talk about?” Owen asks hesitantly as we walk across the beach, farther from the hotel.

“Not to get all crazy on you, but about whatever this is.” I gesture between us. “I have a few things to say. Things we probably should have talked about before getting naked last night.”

Instead of turning and running away, Owen’s lips turn up into a smile. “Not that I have any regrets about last night, but I can understand where you’re coming from. Let’s talk.”

“I was talking to my friends about you.”

Owen waggles his brows. “I hope you only had good things to say.”

I shove him lightly and shake my head. “Not the point here.”

He chuckles. “Of course not. Please, forgive my interruption.”

I can’t stop the smile that grows on my face. Owen is almost too easy to be around. The way he makes me feel so comfortable scares me, but still, I continue.

“They mentioned that your work is based in Charlotte, something I didn’t expect to hear since that’s where I live as well. When I agreed to stay with you, I thought this would be nothing more than a vacation fling. When I heard we lived near each other, I worried that would change things, but I don’t want it to. I want to be upfront and let you know I’m not looking for anything more than whatever amazingness last night was.”

I pause to see if he’s still with me. His face is resolute, and he’s not really looking at me as we continue toward the boulders up ahead on the beach. His lack of reaction isn’t making me feel better, so instead of staying quiet like I should, I begin to ramble.

“I don’t want to date you, Owen. I don’t need you to pretend this is anything more than what it is. I just want you. For the next four days. When we go home, I’m sure we’ll never see each other again, and that works for what I need right now. I need to know that you’re okay with that and that you know I’m not going to be a stage-ten clinger.”

I’ve said more than I intended, but it’s probably best to get everything out in one go or I wouldn’t have said it all. There are several ways this conversation could go, but I’m hoping Owen will think this is the greatest thing any woman has ever said to him, or he’ll think I’m lying about only wanting a fling and run for the hills. Either way, I get what I want in some form or another.

Owen stops us, and my toes start to sink into the cooling sand. He settles his hands on my hips and smiles. “That was quite the declaration.”

“I’m quite the woman,” I say. Though I don’t really believe my words, I need him to. I need him to see the person I want to be, not the pathetic woman I was just last week. I need to be better for myself. I need to work on believing in me.

“Yes, you are, which is why I’m a little disappointed about what you want. Or, more specifically, what you don’t want, but I respect that you were upfront. That makes me want to be as well,” he says, and I tense, looking over his shoulder at the cliffs behind him.

“I like you, Ella. It doesn’t matter that I’ve only just met you. I was hoping we would get to know each other and see where this went even when I wasn’t aware that you lived so close, but even though this isn’t what I preferred, I don’t care. If letting you have your way with me is the only option that I have to spend time with you, then I’m not going to complain.” He pauses and smirks. “Though, my dick might stop performing if you hurt him a third time.”

I laugh, glad he’s broken the tension. “I’ll do my best to be gentle with Owen, Jr.”

Owen strokes my arm with his knuckles. “He appreciates that, but I’m serious, Ella. I won’t demand something from you that you don’t want, but you need to know, I also won’t hide how much I’m beginning to crave you.”

My chest constricts, and I’m torn between running away or jumping Owen right here on the beach. This is more than I need right now, but I can’t deny that the connection between us is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. That alone should scare me away from him, but I’m still resolved to keep this as a vacation fling if he’s game.

Kenzie was right. I don’t want to live with any what-ifs, and Piper was right, too. I’m so tired of being afraid of everything that I fail to remember how to put myself first.

“Thank you for understanding and being honest yourself,” I say.

He turns me toward the setting sun and wraps his arms around my waist. “I don’t like games, Ella. Remember that in case you change your mind about extending whatever this is beyond your vacation.”

I try to lose myself in the purple and orange colors mixing in the sky in front of me, but I can’t ignore how his words send shivers down my spine.

“What did you do today?” he asks, resting his chin on my shoulder.

“Went for a walk on the trails and spent a lot of time on the beach. Nothing exciting. How was mini golf?” I turn so I can see him and notice a bit of tension around his eyes.

“I don’t want to talk about work. How about we go back to the room and order room service?”

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