Page 9 of A Mutually Beneficial Proposal

Ella

When I step outsideof the airport with my carry-on—sans dildo—my shoulders sag in relief. I made it through the worst part. I left North Carolina on my own. I survived the flight next to Mr. McHottie, a.k.a. Owen Porter. More importantly, I didn’t have any drool on my face when he woke me up.

Now, I just need to find a taxi to get me to the hotel. There are limos and private cars in the first section of the departure area. I should have ordered one of those, but whatever. I’ll splurge on dinner later tonight. I only have five full days to live it up and, if I’m being serious about getting over the-ex-who-shall-not-be-named, I’ll have to step out of my comfort zones.

I walk further along the pathways and find the taxi line. Everyone is smiling and laughing, and not one person that I can see is alone. I try not to dwell on that, though. Being by myself isn’t bad. Maybe this is exactly how things were supposed to work out.

The cynic in me is trying to combat my positive thoughts, but I do my best not to let the negative in. Instead, I remember the words Kenzie and Piper told me when they forced me out of the car earlier.

I am not the problem. I am not broken. I am enough.

My chest tightens when I say them to myself. The statements are easier to repeat than believe considering my last three serious relationships ended with the dickface men I let into my heart cheating on me.

What had I done wrong? Why wasn’t I enough for them? Or what hadn’t I done enough of?

“Fucking fuck,” I mutter to myself with a shake of my head.

No. I didn’t do anything wrong. Those piece-of-shit exes of mine did. I should have learned my lesson after nearly marrying Blake Parsons, but alas, it’s taken two more heartbreaks to realize something has to change.

Blake was four years older than me. Mature, stable, attentive. Everything I could have asked for, hence the reason I’d told him yes when he proposed on our two-year anniversary. I chose a long engagement, waiting until the following spring to get married.

Maybe that was where I’d gone wrong. Though, Piper tells me it’s where I went right, given she caught him at the bar with another woman, one he’d been in a relationship with for three fucking months.

I shudder and step into line for the taxis. Maybe I need to turn on my phone to call Kenzie and Piper. They’re always good for reminding me not to think about the past. Well, at least the parts of it that bring me down.

I swipe the screen down to turn off airplane mode, and within seconds my phone is pinging with messages. I sigh, remembering the text I sent to Kenzie and expecting most of them to be from her.

Only they’re not. They’re from Gavin-the-cheater-Michaels.

I fucked up. Can’t we just talk about this?

Come on Ella. Don’t ice me out. You know we’re good together.

Ha!I snort at that one. If we were so good together, the dickass wouldn’t have brought another womaninto my house.

You’re being a little dramatic with this silent treatment. Let’s be adults and talk about this.

He must have forgotten we were supposed to be on a flight together this morning. Or he didn’t think I was capable of going without him. Hopefully, it’s the latter.

It was one time. I swear it won’t ever happen again. I was freaking out about the vacation. I overheard Piper and you on the phone. She asked if you thought I was going to propose. I’m not ready for that yet. Let’s just pretend this never happened and move on.

That motherfucker.

Yeah, I’m going to pretend this never happened, but not just him cheating. The whole damn relationship. His messages only get worse, and I stop reading before blocking his number.

As hard as it is to believe some days, I need to remember that I deserve better. If that shit for brains freaked out over a fleeting comment from my best friend, then he isn’t ever going to be the man I need in my life.

Right?

Damn it, I hate the doubts all these assholes have put in my head.

I’m almost to the front of the line for the taxis, and I check the messages from my friends. Kenzie of course never took my last text seriously. She replied with only inappropriate emojis followed by lots of hearts.

She’s lucky I love her.

In our group chat, there are several motivational texts just for me, and I almost tear up while reading them.

Piper: You are going to have the best time because you are an amazing person, El.

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