Page 56 of A Mutually Beneficial Proposal

Right. Angles. I need to pay attention to those to keep myself upright along with making sure my arms are straight, but knees stay slightly bent.

I’m absolutely out of my league with this whole windsurfing thing, but that’s exactly why I’m out here. I want to do something just for me. Something new. Something to bring me a sense of wildness that isn’t caused by anyone else.

I get myself into the proper position and finish pulling the sail all the way out of the water. I let out a massive sigh of relief when the sail goes into the right position instead of wayward like the trainer warned me could happen.

My hands grab tightly onto the mast and twist. I’m supposed to treat the mast and sail like a door. Opening it slightly so that the wind can come in and carry me along the waves. I don’t really understand what that means, but when I feel a gust of wind on my face, I reach for the horizontal bar and give it a solid tug.

As I do, the board jolts forward and I’m moving over the water. I almost panic and release, but I manage to keep my grip firm. My speed picks up, and the faster I go, the more comfortable I get. I lean slightly back and relax my elbows when my pace levels out, and I can hear my trainer cheering for me from the shoreline.

A smile rises on my face, and I close my eyes for a moment to soak in the feeling of success. The invisible force that is the wind whips over me, but instead of letting myself be controlled by its strength, I’m commanding the powerful element.

When my eyes reopen, it’s like I’m flying over the water. Birds soar above me. I’m one of them, moving with the waves, and nobody can stop me.

I’m on my own, and the magical euphoria filling me is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I don’t want to stop. I don’t want to worry about going back to shore. I want to keep flying in the wind, enjoying the physical and emotional challenge I feel I’ve conquered.

The sun is warming my skin, and the water splashing around me is almost room temperature. I lean to one side and hold on tightly when the board goes over a wave, sending me a couple feet into the air. I come down hard on the water’s surface. While my bones are rattled, I don’t fall off and I let out a loud whoop.

This is exactly what I needed. The freedom to be on my own. To do something new. To just be. When the wind pulls me farther down the shoreline, I know then that no matter what happens, I’m going to be okay.

My exes can all fuck off. They no longer get to play a factor in my life choices. From this moment forward, I’m going to do exactly what I want, even if that means continuing to fuck Owen once I’m back in North Carolina.

That slice of happiness he’s been offering? I deserve that, and I’m tired of denying myself joy.

* * *

“You’ve gotto be fucking shitting me?” I mutter to myself when I get back to the hotel. I had been riding one hell of a high since being on the water. Not even losing the feeling in my legs from standing so long on that board bothered me.

Now, though? All of that is dashed away when I see Owen. He’s not alone and appears to be having the time of his life.

I left my phone in the room, so I haven’t heard from him all day. I don’t know why he’s with Natalie this time, but I’m firmly set on the belief that she’s a better actress than I thought. Owen said they were just friends, that he was only helping her with something that could get Jack fired, but I can’t believe his words when his actions are smacking me in the face.

They’re standing near the tables behind the coffee bar. Natalie’s leaning her head against his shoulder and Owen’s hand is gripping her hip while he’s grinning down at her like she makes the sun rise in the mornings. He whispers something in her ear that makes her giggle, and the sound is more than I can handle.

I wasn’t supposed to care. And just when I finally give myself the permission to do so, I see this? Fuck this bullshit. Fuck Owen. I should have known better. I shouldn’t have fucking cared.

Though I have a fleeting thought to go punch him in the balls, I instead do something worse.

I leave with no intention of saying goodbye. Let that fucker sit and wonder what the hell happened to me. I couldn’t give two shits if he worries. That’s the least he deserves for making me a fool.

I’m in the elevator before they can see me. When I turn around to scan the key card, I see Rosa about to call for me, but I put a finger over my lips and shake my head. Her brows scrunch, but she stays quiet.

The doors close, and I ignore the burning in my eyes and the tightness in my throat. There are too many hours left before I need to be at the airport, and I can’t be at this resort any longer.

I don’t know where I’m going to stay, but I’m about to figure it out.

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