Page 75 of The Savage Heir

NICU

“Let me kill him,” I pleaded with Luca. “Come on, let me slit his throat and gut him like a goat. You hate him. I loathe him. Alex will say good riddance. Just give me the fucking permission I need, Luca. Let me do it. I need to do it.”

Sitting with his arm spread over the top of the white leather couch in his living room, he gave me a pitying look and said, “You know I’d love to give you permission, but Cat loves him, and I can’t do anything that would hurt her. His death would undoubtedly do that. He’s made some mistakes with her, but he’s also been good to her. Protected her before I was in the picture. Always made sure she was taken care of. I can’t forget that.”

I twisted away from him and threw up my hands.

“Fuck!” I howled to the ceiling.

“I know how you feel, frate, and my heart goes out to you.”

My head dropped forward, and my shoulders sloped inward.

“Fuck,” I muttered. “Is Cat the only thing standing between him and death? I’m your brother, dammit. Don’t I come first?”

His eyes turned a hard slate-gray, a color that gave nothing. There would be no compromising on this.

“What kind of idiotic question is that? Of course you don’t come first. How can you ask me such a thing? Cat’s well-being comes first. It will always come first. Before you, before family, clan, and nation. Before me, even. Whose job is it to protect her?” He fisted his hand and beat his chest. “Mine. It’s my fucking job. That and my love are the only things that allow me to claim her heart, marriage be damned. So, no, asshole, I will not do anything to compromise her happiness.”

My head snapped back at his words. My fight with Jewel came roaring back to me along with her accusation that I didn’t put her first. And here, the brother I loved unapologetically put his woman first.

He softened his tone. “We’ll find a way to make him pay. Without killing him. We’ll find a way, without touching a hair on his head.”

Staring down at my hands, I blew out a harsh breath.

“What’s wrong, Nicu. You’ve wanted to kill him for years, but you’ve never pressed this hard before.”

I didn’t have so much bottled-up frustration inside me before. There was no way to release the gnawing regret that ate at my very heart. Nothing could take it away. Nothing could ease it. Not racing, not flying, not riding my bike. I had zero interest in fucking another woman. I had nothing to preoccupy me from the fact that I may have fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me. I was coming to realize that, along with our explosive attraction, Jewel and I easily lost our tempers. I controlled myself around others, but with her? Not so much.

And now, Luca’s blunt response put Jewel’s claims that I put my family’s interests over hers in stark relief. My brother, who I knew loved me and would lay his life down for me, had no issue shooting me down in favor of his wife.

Ignoring his question, I mumbled, “Jewel called me out as being nothing more than Alex’s lackey.”

I had given him the opening of a lifetime to start ribbing me, but he stayed remarkably silent.

Turning my head, I glared at him. “Go on, tell me she’s right. Fuck knows I snapped at her when she said it.”

He looked at me with pity, yet again. I gritted my teeth, about to bare them at him like a raging beast. My nerves were snapping like live wires. Although I was still fuming, I was also desperate for Jewel. I knew she was right, but my pride was bruised and holding me back from running to her, when that was what I ached to do. God, I was fucked in the head.

He clamped a hand over my forearm and said, “That’s a sore spot for you. Your loyalty is one of your best qualities. I gave you such a hard time about it over the years. I was lashing out at you for other reasons. It wasn’t fair of me. I’m sorry it caused a rift between you and your woman.”

I shrugged in acceptance of his apology. Luca never apologized.

“What triggered her to say that?” he asked.

I shut my eyes and let out a long sigh of frustration. “I asked her to marry me, but I focused on how it was good because Alex wasn’t looking to arrange a marriage for me. I might’ve mentioned how I didn’t care about marriage, but that Mama wouldn’t let it go if I lived with her. I might’ve taken her answer for granted and also mentioned how we should announce our engagement at your wedding because it would make Alex look good.”

A deep chuckle emanated from him, making me clamp my jaw in irritation. Grinding my back teeth, I only continued because I was in desperate need of his advice. “And if you think I fucked that up, I did it without mentioning how announcing my engagement to Cat’s best friend at your wedding would add to the general spirit of the festivities. How it would make it easier for the traditionalists to swallow my marriage to an outsider, being drunk on the high of a good wedding and, well…basically being straight-up drunk. She accused me of being more concerned about Alex and our clan than of being truly interested in marrying her.”

I let him laugh until it tapered off, while I clenched my fists, desperate to punch a hole in the wall. Any wall.

“Oh, little brother, you were never the smoothest one of the lot,” he chided softly.

I refused to look at him, because if I couldn’t stand to see the pity on his face, I’d have to clock him. “What do you mean?” I grumbled, although I had a fair guess of what he was talking about.

“When you propose to a woman, especially an outsider, you should at least attempt to be romantic. You’re not totally to blame, though. Listen, we were never taught how to deal with American women. If she were a mafie girl, it wouldn’t be an issue because you wouldn’t even be proposing to her. Her parents would approach Alex, and you’d meet her after the arrangements were finalized, and not a day before. None of it would be in your control. Not your engagement. Not your wedding. In a way, you’re lucky to experience this level of freedom with her.”

He paused and gave me a meaningful look. “More freedom is a good thing for you. In fact, this girl is good for you. She tests you, pushes you in ways that make you a stronger man. More independent. After your father’s death, your job was to do what you were told to do so that Alex and I could handle clan business and take care of Tasa. You’ve done those jobs well. The problem is, we didn’t delegate more responsibilities to you, and that left you a little immature.”

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