Page 76 of The Perfect Heir

But I had to push her away. It’d be easier on her once I was dead, I reminded myself. I assumed I’d die in my attempt to eliminate Ivanov, but hopefully, the attempt itself would be enough to protect my family. I was tempted to break down, confess everything to Clara, and beg her to give my family shelter, but it was too late. If I walked away from my deal with Alex, he could come after me. I’d be dead, and I wouldn’t be able to protect her heart the way I could now. Protecting her, I was startled to realize, was the priority. I was willing to forgo a possible safe haven for my family to protect her from the grief of my death.

After a lifetime committed to putting them first, someone else came before them. My brows drew together. It was a strange feeling, but the urgency to take care of her took precedence over everything else.

There was one last concern adding to my sense of urgency. Clara was crazy enough to confront Alex in a hopeless attempt to save me. While I didn’t think he’d kill her for meddling, it would be an act of profound disrespect, putting her and her clan in a precarious position. I couldn’t allow that to happen. For what purpose? She might be indomitable, but she couldn’t change his mind. The very idea of her confronting Alex and putting herself in harm’s way on my behalf galvanized me.

Curling up my lip at her, I gave her my deadliest shot. “I want to smack whose ass I want, when I want, and I want to fuck an array of women. Not just you. I want more than one subbie, and a good girl at that. You don’t know how to share, and you’re too much of a brat for my liking.”

Her gasp of shock was so loud it bounced off the high ceilings of the living room.

Fuck, I twisted the knife so deep in my heart, I almost hyperventilated. Reeling back, my spine crashed against the wall. The Romanian embroidery hanging from the walls dislodged and showered down on me. The moment I saw my queen’s heart break, I wanted to tear myself limb from limb.

Scrambling to her feet, Clara stormed up to me. Her beautiful face shimmered in front of me—hair shot with flaxen gold, eyes bright gemstones, a body worth sinning for—I longed to touch her, hold her, comfort her. My very bones hurt like they’d crack under the pressure of my lie. My fingers twitched, ready to shoot out and grab her, crush her to me, and never let her go.

But I couldn’t.

“I don’t believe you. Not one bit. I don’t know why you’re doing this, but when I find out, I’m going to give you the beating of your life,” she spat out. “Until then, I’ll leave you to whatever you feel you need to do without me. Don’t wait too long, Tatum, because I’m not going to put up with this bullshit, and I sure as hell won’t wait forever.”

Defiant to the end, glorious as ever, she was my goddess. My inner beast raged at me to grab her, strip her, and fuck her on the floor. Mark her ass with my hand and the rest of her body with my come. Imprint on her the eternal message that she was mine, mine, mine.

Instead, I forced myself to stay rooted to my spot and watch as she lifted her chin imperiously, turned on her heels, and stomped away, slamming the bedroom door where she ensconced herself.

I slid to the floor; my legs unable to hold me up any longer.

This was for her. I’d be dead, and if I was lucky, she’d hate me so much she’d spit on my grave.

What if I fought the odds and survived? The chance was slim, but even if I survived killing Ivanov, I was now a pariah. I was no good to her in my state of disgrace. I couldn’t do that to her, allow the Hagi queen to remain attached to a tainted man like me.

Hopefully, I’d done enough damage to push her away because I was at the end of my tether. My heart was shattered, hemorrhaging pain, remorse, and helplessness so fast and furious I was sure to have a heart attack. Clasping my chest, I grabbed my bag of guns and mementos, including ones of her, and walked out the door, leaving my gorgeous, injured Clara behind.

It was the hardest thing I’d ever done. Before our confrontation, I’d been prepared to die, but now, I prayed for death.

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