Page 40 of Dangerous Love

“All right,” I said. “Looks like we’re back on track, boys. Great job.”

The two guys chuckled, tension leaving their bodies as they shook hands. My own chest loosened, and hands on my hips, I breathed a sigh of relief when they dashed off towards the court. They threw the ball back and forth at each other for a minute or two, then formed teams again with the other youths around them. I sighed. Bittersweet feelings coursing through me.

How I wish life was that easy again…

“I remember when this was you, buddy. Like yesterday.” Jarryd’s voice startled me, and I spun around, a grin growing on my face as he handed me a cold Sprite.

“Thanks.” I grabbed the can. It fizzed the perfect amount of bubbles right before I brought it to my lips, the cold liquid soothing all of my heartache for the next second or two. “I needed this.”

“How’s work going?”

“All right. Once I got going, it got easier.” I studied Jarryd’s expression as his eyes met mine.

“Do you need more time off?”

“No?” I answered, my head tilted. There was something in the way he spoke to me that made me a little nervous. As if I was his patient rather than his adopted son.

He pointed towards the kids on the court. “You used to be the worst at getting along with others. You used to cry about them cheating, and we’d spend hours going through emotional regulation strategies. God, tell me you remember all that.”

I chuckled. “I remember. Don’t want to, but I do.”

He took a step towards the walking path that surrounded Youth Legacy. “Come and take a walk with me.”

I followed, my mind reminiscing over the last decade. Jarryd had been my youth worker prior to becoming a doctor. He’d made me who I was today, even before he and April took me in. “Everything okay?”

Jarryd walked next to me in silence, his head following the kids playing behind the court as we passed them. “When I met you, you were barely fourteen. I knew right away that you were a good kid, and that I wanted to be there for you. You know that, right?”

I swallowed hard, emotions building at the gratitude I had for my mentor and his family. “Of course. I’ll never forget what you did for me, Jar.”

He placed a hand on my shoulder briefly, and we continued our walk. Lorikeets chirped as we strolled by native trees, the sky as blue as the never-ending ocean. The warm air was relaxing against my prickling skin, and yet, a slight unease tickled me.

“I know Seth’s death is as traumatic as one could imagine, and God knows I’m heartbroken over what’s happened. Truly, Riley, I am.”

Angst filled my chest at his words. I’d been living with him for several years now, and I knew when something was going on in his head. And there was definitely something swimming in there.

“I know.” I inhaled a deep breath, guilt scorching my lungs with every hot gulp. “I’m sorry I’ve been MIA. I realise I’ve let Youth Legacy down. You and April, and these kids. I didn’t want to be here when my head wasn’t right, but I’ll be better. I promise.”

Jarryd paused next to me. He braced his palm on my collarbone and gave me a caring smile. “Riley, this isn’t about work. No one expected you to come back with bells and whistles after your brother’s passing. Jesus, it was a terrible thing that happened. And even if you weren’t family, as an employee, that’s why you have both sick and annual leave. They’re for things like that. I’m glad you took the time. I guess I’m wondering how you’re travelling at the moment is all.”

Chest tight, my eyes met his, and when I recognized the same attention he showed me during the court case that almost had him sent to jail, I faltered. I clenched my fists, swallowing the tears that begged to erupt over how this man was continually putting himself in the way to protect his family. I didn’t deserve him.

“Jarryd…” I choked. When the words got stuck in my throat, I gripped him into a bear hug and waited till the cloud of confusion passed. His arms held me as I fought against the feelings and thoughts dancing in my head. Sienna, Hal, Trey, Jarryd and the family… Work, my gigs, and even the freaking wedding next week… All of it mocked me as I struggled to keep myself afloat.

He released me with a hand placed behind my neck as he did when I was younger. “I keep telling you I love you like a son. What do I need to do for you to believe it, Riley?”

My gut bled, each sentiment leaving his mouth floating in the air before stabbing at my insides and digging deeper. I loved him too. Him and his family. And yet, I’d been so consumed with rage and revenge—and pain—that I’d pushed them away. “I know I’ve been selfish. And weak.” I cleared my throat, my hand on his wrist. “I see it now. If you give me another chance, I can make it up to you and April.”

His grip tightened on my shoulder. “Riley, you’re still not getting it.” He dropped his hand to my chest and tapped my heart with force. “You don’t have to earn our love. We love you as you are. I don’t need Liz or Scotty to be good or to try harder to be my kids. I’m never gonna reject them if they’re struggling. You wouldn’t either, right?”

“Of course not.”

“I see you with them. They’re your siblings as much as your full-blooded brothers.”

I nodded, my heart rate spiking in my chest.Where was he going with this?“Yes. I consider them, and you guys, family. I’d do anything for you.”

He motioned to another bench a few metres away. We ambled towards it. “I know that. And yet, you won’t let us help you when you need it. Because, right now, we’re back to that court case where if we don’t play our cards right, someone could get hurt.”

We settled on the concrete seat.