Page 6 of Found: Denver Alpha

I couldn’t even protect my own heart. What makes me think I could actually take care of the rest of the pack?

“Are you awake?” Bell asks rolling over next to me, so that he’s now facing me.

“I don’t know if I ever went to sleep,” I tell him.

Last night when we came up for bed neither Bell or I wanted to be alone so he came in and bunked with me. Not the first time that we shared a bed, but I think it's the first time we’ve both shared a broken heart. Jace chose to sleep in his own room after he got Scarlett settled in Bell’s room for the night with Sam. The Omega didn’t want to leave the little girl, and Alec was busy taking care of Dell who was really distraught last night as well. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her show such emotions before.

All in all last night wasn’t a good night for anyone in the pack house. Well, maybe the other wolves but I was betting after mine and Bell’s freak out some of them were probably filled with some anxiety.

“Jace is right you know, she isn’t dead or missing, we could still try to get Jade to change her mind about the bond,” he says, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close so he can rest his head on my chest.

“I know,” I tell him, but I’m not sure I believe it.

Everything hurts right now, but my heart feels like it might actually be dying right inside my chest. My wolf yearns to be with our mate not understanding that the human part of Jade doesn’t want us. Though I’m not sure why.

Did I do something wrong? Or offend her in some way?

Maybe she was afraid I would ask her to give up her vampire? I’ll admit that I thought about it in the cage at one time or another but after seeing them together there’s no way I would even suggest it. That man obviously loves her, any fool could see that. I’d never break Jade’s heart like that, I love her too much.

“We should give her a few days before we try to approach her again,” Bell suggests not giving up hope.

I wish that I had his optimism, because right now I feel nothing but pain and desolation.

“You’re right, maybe a little space is just what she needs,” I say, patting him on the arm hoping to give him some comfort. Closing my eyes I will myself to fall asleep, because I’m sure tomorrow is going to be a terribly long day.

* * *

“Are you two going to sleep two whole days away,” I hear Jace comment as the bed dips next to me.

Opening my eyes I spot him sitting there looking down at us, his blue eyes filled with pity even as his words were filled with sarcasm. Bell is still wrapped around me sleeping like the dead, but that isn’t really anything new. He learned to sleep anywhere while in the Marines so a lot of noise doesn’t bother him.

“What time is it?” I ask, my throat dry as a bone so it comes out very gravelly.

“Almost seven, I figured after everything you needed the rest but you’re going to have to make an appearance at the pack meeting in about an hour,” Jace says brushing some of my hair from my face. “I’m glad you aren’t dead,” he says with a smile, and I return it with one of my own.

Jace isn’t really big on showing his emotions, something his family forced on him when he was young. So his statement is about as close as I think I’m going to get for a show of emotion.

“Me too,” I tell him and he leans down to give me a kiss but I stop him, my heart filling with agony with the thought of having to push him away. But after hearing stories about what happened with Dell and her mates I don’t want to even chance a kiss putting Jade in pain.

“Shit. This is going to be harder than I thought,” he responds with a sigh.

“We knew this day would come,” I explain, watching as his face fills up with a mix of pain and understanding.

“We did. At least you and Bell will have each other. I’m going to get the meeting set up,” he replies, getting up from the bed and leaving the room with only a small look over his shoulder.

“Ja—” I try to call after him but I know it’s no use. There isn’t anything I can say right now to make either of us feel better.

Damn it. Lately I feel like all I do is hurt the people I care about.

“Bell, get up, we have a pack meeting in an hour and we need to get ready,” I say, shaking the sleeping man, but all he does is groan and roll away from me.

Getting up from the bed I look down at his sleeping form and shake my head. Not wanting to fight with him I turn and head for my bathroom hoping that a shower will help me feel a bit more alive. Between Jade being gone and having to reject Jace, my heart feels nothing but pain.

My bathroom is just how I left it which for some reason bothers me. It’s like everything about me changed in that cage but somehow I’m just supposed to go back to filling the Alpha role without any issues. It’s bullshit.

Glancing in the mirror I look exactly how I feel.

Broken. Weak. Unworthy.

---