Page 34 of Found: Denver Alpha

“Hi,” I say awkwardly, and immediately regret it when his face falls.

“I’m sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?” he asks, pulling his arms from my waist and trying to make space between us.

“No! Shit. It’s not that. God I’m messing this up,” I word vomit, scooting myself up against the headboard and putting my head in my hands with a sigh.

“I know you’ve got a lot going on right now, so I’m not going to pressure you to mate with me or even touch me in any way if you don’t want to. I want you to be comfortable here,” he says, moving to put more space between us.

“Damn it. It’s not that I don’t want you to touch me, I’m just really overwhelmed at the moment. The only people I’ve ever woken up in bed with are Darius and Silas, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to act. I just felt awkward, but I swear it has nothing to do with how I feel about being your mate,” I try to explain, but I’m not sure I did a very good job of it.

“It’s okay Jade, you’re allowed to feel however you want,” he says sweetly and it just makes me feel worse now that there’s distance between us.

Why am I like this? I can take my clothes off in front of strangers but when my soon to be mate smiles at me and tells me I’m beautiful and I lose my nerve. So stupid.

“I was staring at you like a creep while you were sleeping and that’s why I was embarrassed, I felt caught,” I confess, hiding my head in my hands once more. I’ve never been this weird with a naked man in my life.

“Beautiful, you can look at me all you want, I’m yours, completely,” he comments, the bed shifts and I feel his body heat against my skin before he tugs gently on my hands so I’ll look at him.

“How can you say that when we just met?” I ask, looking into his very sincere green eyes. He smiles gently but doesn’t touch me.

“You’re my mate, with or without the bond connecting us together I care for you more than my own life,” he says as if that’s an explanation.

“How do you just know? My cougar likes you, that’s true but it’s not as intense as what you and the others talk about. I just want to understand,” I say with a sigh.

“It’s kind of hard to understand even for me, but I’ll try. My wolf has instincts that in human form I can never hope to have. When we touched the first time he knew right then and there you were meant to be ours. Now I can’t explain how the universe chooses, that’s above my pay grade but I’m glad it chose you,” he tells me and my heart feels warm and even a little lighter.

The universe chose…

I guess this is as close to destiny as I’ll ever get, it’s strange but it doesn't make it wrong.

“Umm, thank you for explaining. Can I ask you for one thing?” I ask hesitantly.

“You can ask me for anything,” he replies without a hint of hesitation.

“Could you hug me?”

I barely finish my sentence before he has me pulled tight against his solid frame. My body relaxes, and I close my eyes and just take in his cinnamon roll scent. Sighing I allow myself just to enjoy being in his arms. Not over analyzing this mating for life scenario like humans might. I’ve been out of the supe community for so long now it seems I may have forgotten how to be completely myself, cougar included.

Speak of the devil she chooses now to scoff and then start purring. I picture her rolling around inside of me soaking in our mates scent without shame.

“Are you purring?”

“Shut up and hold me,” I tell him, enjoying his chuckle in response. I’m more than glad to be past the awkwardness of this morning.

“Are you okay if we like ummm mate tonight or tomorrow?” I ask, and feel him freeze.

My god can I not go five minutes without putting my foot in my mouth this morning?

“There’s no rush Jade, whenever you feel ready,” he tells me.

“It’s just that I don’t want to be like wam bam one after another, I want it to be more organic, special,” I fumble through my explanation.

“Jade, my beautiful mate, just having you in my arms is enough for now. Don’t stress. When you’re ready we will seal the bond. Until then we can just get to know each other,” he answers perfectly.

Now I kind of do want to fuck him, damn it.

“Why are you afraid of vampires?” I blurt out hoping to change the subject.

Bellamy’s body freezes, and I hear his intake of breath so I glance up at him. His face is a mask of pain and regret, and I wish now that I wouldn’t have asked that question.