Page 56 of Free Fall (The Quantico Files 3)

He was quiet for a moment, then said, “I need to tell you something important, but I ... I need to wait until tomorrow. If I tell you now, I’ll worry about it all night.”

Alex fought against a surge of emotion that brought tears to her eyes. “Hey, I need to let you pack.”

“Okay, but—”

She ended the call before she broke down, then choked back a sob since she couldn’t risk anyone in the CP hearing her cry. She tried to finish the burger Jeff brought, but she couldn’t get it down. She threw the rest of it away along with the fries.

Logan stared at the phone for a while, then scrolled through his contacts and clicked on Monty’s number.

Alex tossed and turned on the uncomfortable couch, unable to relax, afraid her nightmares would attack her as if she was in a war and the enemy was determined to destroy her. Was she losing herself? She suddenly realized there was a lot of truth to that notion. She sat up and began to mentally review a sermon she’d heard about spiritual warfare. She couldn’t always rely on Logan to help her when she had personal battles. It was time to learn how to fight back using the tools God had given her.

She reached into her go bag and took out the small NIV Bible she kept in it. Then she looked up the Scriptures Pastor Shook, the senior pastor at her church, mentioned in that sermon.

“You will not fear the terror of night,” she said out loud, quoting the 91st psalm. She read further and then said, “‘“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”’”

Then she remembered another verse that had resonated with her and read it. Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

The first time she’d heard that Scripture, Logan had shown it to her. It was hard for her to take it in then, but when she heard it again in church, she finally understood it. God had a plan for her life. She remembered thinking that if that was true, she had a reason for being alive. She was important to God.

She read the Scriptures over several more times, trying to plant them in her memory. When she put the Bible down, she closed her eyes and prayed.

God, I want the future you have for me. It’s hard for me to believe you love me that much, but I know you don’t lie. I’m trusting that no weapon formed against me will prosper. And that Logan will come through his surgery safely, that he will be fine. If You have a future for me, I know you have one for him. And, God, please help him understand why I didn’t tell him what I’m doing tomorrow morning. I don’t want him to feel like I’ve betrayed him.

Even as she said it, she felt assured that Logan would understand because he would have done the same thing in her place. Then she recalled what Pastor Shook asked the congregation to repeat after he read those Scriptures.

“I ... I believe that your Word is true and that you will perform your Word,” she whispered. “Thank you, God.”

When she lay down again, she felt an overwhelming sense of peace.

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