Page 236 of Those Who Are Bound

In the next instant, her brother—the man who’d just sworn he’d end a life for her—turned on her. With a blood-chilling yell, he twisted and grabbed her by the hair. She screamed as he dragged her off the table, grabbing at the hand he had tangled in her hair, dropping the shirt. She stumbled against him, unable to keep her footing as he pulled her toward the door.

She heard Becks’s authoritative cry, “Gage!”He grabbed her around the waist, halting their progress.

There was a brief tug-of-war for her: Gage dragging her face up to his by her hair, while Becks attempted to free her. They all froze, however, when Gage shoved the gun under her chin.

“You fucking whore! He’s family! We’re family!” His voice cracked. “Do you know what you’re doing? We’re all we have left. And you just shattered—”

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. Terror rippled through her, numbing her but at the same time making her hyperaware of every sensation. “I can’t help it.”

“Let her go!” Becks ordered.

“You’re a fucking monster!”

“I’m not! Gage, please.”

“Lower the gun, Gage.”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“It’s me,” she sobbed. “It’s me. Please, please, I can’t… I can’t help it.”

There was a hesitation, a faltering. A break. She saw it in his eyes. Becks must have seen or sensed it, because he wrenched her out of Gage’s hold, pulling her away and wrapping her in his arms, attempting to comfort. But there was no comfort to be had. She was limp in his arms, a naked doll, crying so hard she gagged. Red rope still dangled from her limbs.

She lifted scared, red-rimmed eyes to her brother, silently begging, pleading for him to understand and forgive.

“I don’t know you.”

His last spoken words to her before he turned and walked out, ignoring her screams.

His last written words had an equally devastating effect:

I’m sitting here with this length of rope, and my mind is spinning, E. Of all the feelings I should be having about this, the only one left to me is failure. I’ve failed you. I didn’t protect you. I didn’t see you. I didn’t see beyond the past or my dead friends or something, and I let this happen to you. It’s a deep hole to be in. There’s no coming back from this. I can’t climb out of it and rage. I’ll hurt you more. I’ll destroy everyone and everything around me. Bombs are exploding in my brain, and the only way to stop them is through destruction. But you’re already destroyed. And you’re my baby sister, who I failed. I can’t devastate you more. Because I want to, Ellie. Every time I look at you, I’d want to. Beat you, punish you, for my failing you. So I need to end me. I choose you. But I leave you with a message only you can understand, because I need to try to save you. I need to not fail you one last time.

Jonah handed her phone back after he’d read Gage’s final letter.

“I did that to him,” she said sadly. “It’s what I do; my demon. He called me a monster.”

“No,” he countered quickly. “Hisowndemon did that. How do you not know that? Why hasn’t anyone told you that?”

Elliott tilted her head. “After the… confrontation, he locked himself in the little room behind the office. He wouldn’t talk to either of us. I sat outside the door, crying, apologizing, trying to get a response. He never responded.

“Two days later, I had to salt the drive. It was routine morning stuff. He usually did it, but because he was holed up, I had to do it. He knew I would be the one to do it.” She dropped her head, saying quietly, “I found him hanging with my rope. I screamed and screamed. I tried to get him down. Becks heard me and came running. He had to put me in a chokehold to get me to let go of Gage’s body.”

Jonah moved toward her, obviously wanting to comfort her, but she put up her hand with a small shake of her head. She didn’t deserve his comfort, especially after what she’d just put him through.

“My brother hung himself with my rope, but ropes turn me on. They still do. It’s disgusting. I disgust myself. This shit… it took away my brother. He used the rope specifically to try to save me, and I blew right by the lesson and chose the destructive seduction of it… I choose pleasure over his sacrifice.”

“Stop saying that. You are not sick.”

Elliott gave him an intolerant and meaningful look.

“You aren’t sick,” Jonah pressed. “And I consented to being there today.”

“How can I be turned on by the thing that killed him?”

Jonah frowned, looking distressed. “The thing that killed him, Elliott, was himself. Your rope did not kill him. Your actions did not kill him. Gage did that. He would have done it regardless, some other day, some other way.”

Elliott tensed. “How dare you—?”

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