Page 125 of Those Who Are Bound

She continued, ignoring the bewilderment in his voice as he followed her. Setting her items on the bar, she dipped behind it to open the refrigerator. “Yes? No?”

“No.”

She pulled out a beer.

“I want you to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me.” As she was about to deny it, he pressed, “What’s changed?”

Beer forgotten, her heart in her throat, she knew this moment would come. Jonah wasn’t a man to be ghosted. “Nothing’s really… changed. I don’t think we’re… compatible.”

His nostrils flared. He didn’t like that answer. Taking a step forward, he reminded her, “I thought you said we were crazy compatible.”

Elliott tucked in her bottom lip for a second before she said, “I was talking about food.”

The tilt of his head told her that he knew she was lying. “Tell me the truth.”

Coming around the bar again, she leaned against it. The look on his face was killing her. But she’d rather him be mildly hurt than face the disgust, the horror he would experience when she toyed with him, pushed him beyond his boundaries… brought him to his knees and then despised him for breaking.

And she didn’t want to break him. She’d seen the results of what she could do to a person, and she wouldnotdo that to Jonah.

“I am telling you the truth.” Partially. “We just… Outside of the sex—don’t get me wrong, that’s amazing—but other than that, I don’t see where we… mesh.”

“Are you being serious right now?”

“I told you, I’m not good with this stuff.”

He shook his head. “Not good enough. Do better than that if you’re trying to break up with me. Give me a reason. Give me something other than vague bullshit.”

She tilted her head, silently pleading with him not to make her do it.

“Because we were fine when I left Saturday night.” He furrowed his brow. “Weren’t we? The only thing that happened was you learning about my occupation.”

Elliott retorted, “The only thing? That was a pretty big reveal, Jonah. After all your talk about honesty and getting to know one another, you didn’t mention it. You failed to mention any of it. That entire speech about discovering each other, who we are, and you held backa lot. It’s as though you knew not to say anything, or maybe you were ashamed.”

“Not ashamed,” he fired back quickly, adamantly. “Maybe I should have said something sooner. But it’s so much a part of who I am that I don’t feel the need to call it out. It’s a detail.”

“A big one.”

“Why?” He took a step forward. “Because I hadn’t gotten around to telling you yet?”

“Because we don’t have the same belief system.”

He looked relieved at that. “That’s what this is about? A difference of opinion on religion?”

She gave a small shake of her head. “It’s notjustreligion. I don’t believe what you believe. I don’t even respect that mindset, the way you all behave. You’re judgmental and condescending. ”

He blinked. “You think differently aboutme.You don’t respect me.”

Elliott lowered her head. The hurt on his face was a knife in her heart, too. “I don’t respect the institution of religion as a whole.”

“No, be honest with me. Because I’m a part of that institution.”

“Youleadit,” she mumbled, looking at him.

“I’m apartof it,” he enunciated. Staring hard at her, desperation edging his expression, he approached her. “Who’s being judgmental and condescending now? Just what you’ve accused me of being. Why do you get away with it?”

She gave him a pointed look. “You see? And we’re off to the races. I’m a realist, Jonah. I know, in your mind, you’ll always be a better person than me. Calmer, grounded, with this otherworldly patience that you give credit to an invisible… thing. But I will always be just me: not pretending to be perfect or striving for it. But at least I’m honest in who I am.” Okay, a little bit of a lie there. “If you like what you see, that’s all me. If you hate it, that’s all me, too. There’s no one else to blame, and no one else gets the credit.”

The last part, at least, was true. Her flaws were all designed by herself.