Page 46 of Those Who Are Bound

“Our details make us who we are,” he pointed out.

With a bit of defiance and a hint of challenge, daring him to remain equitable, she raised a dark eyebrow, asking, “What details are you asking about? The ones from Monday that I didn’t give an answer to? The other men in my life? I assume you’re curious about my sexual history.”

He gave a small shake of his head. “That’s not what I meant.”

Without looking at him, she reached into the box and picked a piece of sausage off the pizza, not bothering with a slice, reciting without inflection, “It’s not an unreasonable question. I’m clean, I’ve never had an STD or a pregnancy, I’m not currently on birth control, and I’ve had six partners. I’ll get tested again if you want me to.”

“I didn’t ask you that.”

“Frank conversation; nothing off the table, right?”

“Why are you defensive?”

“I’m not; those are the facts.” She picked at another piece of sausage before looking up. “You wanted details. Those are details.”

“I meant more along the lines of do you steal the covers in the middle of the night or do you cuddle for body heat?” Resting his elbows on the metal table and leaning forward, he asked quietly, “Do I get to imagine wrestling with you on a cold night for control of the blankets or look forward to waking up with you in my arms?”

Shame and embarrassment washed over her even as her heart fluttered.

You suck at being normal.

Elliott continued to randomly pick at the pizza while he calmly watched her.Eventually, she admitted, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? Trust me, one of your boyfriends would have complained about the lack of covers,” he said humorously.

Still holding his gaze, Elliott shook her head. “I don’t know because no one ever stayed. Regardless of how long we were together, none of them ever… stayed. Stayed over, that is.” Or, just… stayed. She mocked herself for the impression she was giving that her relationships lasted. Only one had lasted, if that could be considered a relationship, and he didn’t stay, either. It was a rule. None of them were real relationships, though. Virgin territory, here, with him, which was why she was sucking so hard at it.

To his credit, he didn’t outwardly react. But he was silently probing deeper as he watched; she could see his curiosity about why she picked shitty men. He asked, “Your choice or his?”

The question stunned her. Until he’d asked, she hadn’t realized that a choice had been made, and it hadn’t been hers. She turned her attention to the pizza when his jaw tensed, a flash of disbelief crossing his features.

“For the record, I’m partial to cuddling, and I’ll put up a fight for the covers,” he said.

That earned him a look of playful challenge; his irritation wasn’t with her, at least.

“Since we’re apparently going there, when was your last relationship?”

It was semantics, she knew, the term “relationship.” She could tell him that the last time she had sex was two years ago. But then he would make an assumption based on that answer that it was with someone she’d been in a relationship with; a normal one. Before the last time she’d had sex, she did have a boyfriend, briefly.

Which door to open?

Looking down at the pizza, she once again tried to come up with the answer that she knew was to his benefit.

“I didn’t mean for it to be a trick question.”

She smiled; it was automatic, to acknowledge his attempt at humor, but it didn’t reach her eyes. With a shrug, she passed off his question. “I don’t do relationships well. Thus, the not staying part. But the last time I was with someone, it was… two years ago.” Again, she shrugged to indicate it wasn’t worth delving into.

Jonah nodded acceptance of her answer, but she could tell he was reading between the lines. He was intuitive, and in a sense, as competitive as she was. He was looking at her as though it were her walls he was determined to breach: the more she put up, the more he looked determined to see what was behind them.

Elliott blushed under the intensity of his gaze, raising an eyebrow. “You’re staring.”

“How rude of me.”But he didn’t stop looking at her.

The words danced along her nerve endings, and she was wet between her thighs; she tensed her leg muscles and dropped her gaze away again.

“Have you ever been in love?” he asked.

She gave a small shake of her head.