Page 101 of Those Who Are Bound

“I’m extremely glad to hear that,” he said sincerely and roughly. “It means they didn’t mean anything to you.”

She waited a beat before she corrected him. “I didn’t mean anything to them.”

In her peripheral vision, she saw a small shake of his head, either not accepting her response or not able to comprehend it.

Biting her lip, she gave him a hesitant side-eye. “I need to… I mean… we’re trying this relationship thing, right? That means I can share things with you?”

Jonah stared at her; nodded.

She took a deep breath and admitted, “I haven’t been completely honest with you.” She watched him process the words as she took a sip of her coffee. He regarded her carefully; only a slight narrowing of his eyes could be detected as he clearly tried to predict where her dishonesty lay, but he was withholding judgment until she continued.

Worrying her lower lip for a moment, she looked back over the traumatized tree tops. “About those relationships…” She could feel his attention on her, his anticipation for her words. “They weren’t what I imagine most people would define as…” She was ashamed; the truth was awkward.“A week or two is the longest anyone stuck around. A few weeks is being generous.” She made a face. “The word ‘around’ is…” She shrugged.

She risked a glance at him for his reaction, but he was looking back at her patiently, waiting. “I made them sound like more than they were. Like I said, I didn’t mean anything to them.”

He was quiet for a few beats and then said quietly, “Not boyfriends.”

She shrugged. “I thought they were—thought they would be.”

“Why weren’t they? Why wouldn’t they be?”

Legitimate question.Because I scared the shit out of them; pushed them beyond their endurancewas not a legitimate answer.

“Misjudged one another, maybe?”

Jonah shook his head. “If you’re going to be honest with me, then be honest with me.”

She took a deep breath, then another drink of her coffee before trying to answer. “This is new for me, this… talking thing.” She glanced at him, and he managed to fit in an encouraging smile in the brief span of time that she looked at him. “You didn’t know me… before. But I wasn’t much of a talker then, either. Maybe… I don’t know. I’m not good at this.”

“It isn’t a test you pass or fail. Say what you need to say.” He was still watching her, watching her struggle to pull out the words. He assured her, “I’m not those men, Elliott. I’m not going to cut and run after two weeks. I don’t know them; I don’t know who you were, but I know me, and I know the woman sitting in front of me. No matter what you say about who you were then, I’m not walking out. I believe enough in how I feel about you that I don’t care about yourthen.”

Elliott listened to him, and by the time he was finished, she was a little confused, a lot hopeful.

He took his feet off the railing and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he regarded her. “What do you think you need to tell me?”

Elliott shook her head, her pulse racing at his words. She was always amazed at how he expressed himself—easily and with such certainty. He slammed his feelings in front of her and saidthere; right there,and left himself vulnerable for her. It was a confidence she’d never seen before.

Drawing in a breath, she answered him, “I didn’t mean anything to them, and you’re right, they didn’t mean anything to me, either. I never felt about any of them the way…” She wasn’t as brave as Jonah, so she said as she cast him a side-eye, “I never asked any of them to pin me.”

Jonah quietly waited her out.

“It was me,” she said quietly.“I may have intentionally chosen wrong, but it was me. I was the reason they didn’t stay.” She shrugged. “Some of it may have been Gage.” She threw her brother under the bus, because she knew it wasn’t true: she was the one to blame.

“Your brother?”

“Waking up and seeing Gage in the kitchen? He was an intimidating man.”

Jonah chuckled. “That wouldn’t have scared me off.”

“It’s easy for you to say now.”

“If I was banging his sister in his house, then I would’ve been man enough to face him the next morning,” Jonah said confidently. “And nothing would drag me out of your bed in the middle of the night.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Except for a generator.”

He reminded her, “I came back for more, didn’t I?”

Blushing, she nodded and contemplated the contents of her coffee mug.

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