Page 48 of Princess of Passion (Caprice Langden)

Chapter Fifteen

- Lilly -

There are those momentsof clarity when you distinctly know right from wrong.

And then there are those moments when your emotions go back and forth, bouncing from one extreme to another because you can’t seem to find the comfort zone in the middle.

I wanted to relax and enjoy the comfort of his arms, but Sebastian’s words yanked the warmth away and replaced it with a chilling sense of dread. I wanted the truth. I wanted to hear his story. Whatever he finally decided he needed to tell me was important to him, to me, to us, and what meant even more to me was that along with whatever truths he was about to reveal, he was restoring my power. As he’d said, I got to decide after that.

Our future was in my hands.

So then, why did I feel so nervous? Why did I already feel like the sad excuse of a relationship we’d crafted was about to end?

It didn’t have to. I understood the life Sebastian led. I knew he was the head of a lucrative crime organization. I knew he had power. Even Gabriel hadn’t wanted to make him angry, but Sebastian had pushed him too far. I was ashamed to admit that none of that really mattered to me. I saw the man behind that mask - there was more to him than those criminal elements that might have made other women cringe. I paid no attention to them because I spent my life surrounded by similar men. My tastes were tainted by what I’d been exposed to everyday of my life.

There were things that would have sent me packing. Drugs, for example. But I couldn’t picture Sebastian as a drug dealer. Human trafficking. If he was involved in that filth, I’d kill him myself.

But again, I couldn’t picture that. Sebastian had a hard edge, but he also had a heart. And a family. He could connect with people. I couldn’t see him abusing others that way.

But whatever he had to tell me, it was serious enough that he expected it to make a difference in our relationship.

Maybe the revelation would. But maybe it would free us, not trap us more than we already were.

And maybe some of Noemi’s optimism lingered in her absence.

“I’ve done foolish things before,” I whispered as I looked up into Sebastian’s eyes. “I can handle it.”

He rested his forehead on mine. “I know you can. I’m not so sure about myself.”

I pulled back and tilted my head. “Do you believe in fate?”

He held my gaze with not so much as a flicker of a change in emotion. “No.”

“So, if I tell you that if we’re meant to be, we’ll get past anything, you won’t believe me?”

“I only believe in what I can control, Princess. Fantasies and myths are just that.”

“Do you believe in me?”

“Yes. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”

His quick declaration was so certain it caught me off guard. I grabbed Sebastian’s hand and placed it on my chest around the curve of my breast. “I’m real. Neither fantasy nor myth. Do you think you can control me?”

Sebastian swallowed. “Not for a fucking minute. Congratulations, Princess. You’ve just uprooted my entire world.”

It was the first time I took the initiative. Rising on my shoeless toes, I placed my lips over his and kissed him. Soft. Featherlike. I lingered in his arms, with his lips pressed to mine, because this was what was real—was what I needed. He said he believed in me. I had to give him the same respect.

“Then tell me your secrets, Sebastian. Have faith in me. I know what kind of man you are, and I want you all the same. I can’t think of anything you’d be capable of that would change that.”

He kissed me hard, pulling me against him until I could barely draw a breath. “But it’s not something I’ve done, Princess. My secrets are mine to keep, but I’d share every damn one of them with you if I thought it would make a difference.”

I put my hands on either side of his head. “No more mysterious words, Sebastian. The truth,” I demanded. “Why do you not believe in us? What horrible thing from the past is going to keep us apart?”

“How about revenge? Or a tale of murder?”

What was he talking about? He was stalling.

I pushed him harder. “Just say it.”

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