Page 81 of Skin Deep

“No,” I said. “But why did you assume he was my lover?"

“I don’t know.”

He did, but he didn’t want to admit it. My cousin had stolen Mari from him, and he assumed the same with me.

“I wasn’t fighting for Mari,” he said. “She told me Lupo was her husband’s middle name. After I saw you hug him at the gates—I thought you wanted to name our dog after him. He came after me because Mari came here. It was the idea of her he stole from me, but I thought he stole everything from me with you. All of this—” he motioned to his face “—has nothing to do with her. It had to with you. You didn’t tell him about us?”

“Basics. Amadeo thinks I love my life—how wild it is.”

“Because of Noemi.”

I nodded. “We grew up very close. I will never forget the look in his eyes after she was gone.” It was the same look he had after Nonno had left. It was like he had nothing left to lose. But Mari had found us in church, and I saw something in his eyes that I’d never seen before, especially when his mind was set on something.

A reason to pivot death. A reason to find a way to live.

I looked at the butterfly on the wall.

The love between my cousin and his wife was real—it felt real enough to touch in that church when they had said their vows. I remembered the feel of it. I’d felt it again in that hospital room, when Harrison had looked at me at my worst and still found beauty in me. He’d carried me to the window and set me in the sun.

“Leave it,” I whispered. “I shouldn’t have—”

Before I could finish, he was in front of me, his hand underneath my hair, pulling my mouth to his.

“The fucking things you do to me,” he said, barely giving me time to catch my breath. Then he started laughing, still kissing me at the same time.

My hand followed the outline of his cock through the sweatpants. I squeezed and he sucked in a breath, pushing into my grip. We collided into a wall, tearing into each other, until we were both naked.

“You’re so far underneath my skin that there’s no room left,” he rasped against my mouth.

This love might damn us both, but we’d take it to our graves. Because it went much deeper than our skin.

I set a hand on each side of his face, using my thumb to stroke his lip. I wanted him to look at me. When he did, I smiled, my eyes watery from all the things I couldn’t say. Sometimes words were unnecessary.

He traced my lips, and like the feel of him in that hospital room, what we were doing felt sacred to me. It felt like we were two people who were enough for each other. I’d done many things in the name of what I thought was acceptance, but this—this didn’t make me hate myself after.

I kept falling deeper in love.

With him. With life. He gave me a reason. My one call—forever. My days would not always be bright, but with him bringing me into the sun, I knew I’d have the reserve to get through the darkness until I was strong enough to lift my own face again.

Life felt exhilarating suddenly; I could feel it rush through my veins. As alive as the heart beating in my chest.

“Let’s play balls,” I said taking him off guard, squeezing his balls. I pushed against his chest, picked up his hat from the floor, put it on backward, and headed for the master.

He whistled. “Thatass,” he said, watching me walk up the stairs.

I set myself in the center of the bed, and he stood there, hands on his hips, the monster jutting out. I fixed the cap so it fit lower over my eyes. I could smell his cologne and sweat on the brim, and I breathed it in deep. I leaned back some on the bed, pushing my breasts out, and opened my legs.

My hand drifted from my neck, between my breasts, around each one, until I started to tease my nipples. I moaned out, low and long, and then slipped my other hand between my legs. I was so wet already. So sensitive. All I had to do was open my eyes and see my fantasy staring back at me.

I moaned even louder at the heated look in his eyes.

“You want me, baby?”

“Sì,”I barely got out.

He kneeled on the bed, resting one leg on either side of me. Then he flipped me over, my ass in the air, my pussy throbbing for more. He used his knees to spread my legs apart. I fell onto the bed, onto my palms. He reached around and started stroking me, then entered me from behind in a hard thrust that made me cry out. My body was prepared for it, to take him all in, but pleasure surged through me.

He took me by the back of the neck, almost holding me in place, while he started to fuck me. His thrusts were getting harder. I was getting louder.

---