Mari had a thing for butterflies. I had a thing for sunflowers. There was no connection between us outside of my cousin—and that was for family obligations. And Harrison. No matter how much I hated it, he connected me to her, too.
“No,” he said. “You’re not.”
That was not an explanation for what this was—what was going on. Silence stretched between us after.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “She grew up here. We lived next door. She painted the butterfly. So, I bought the house thinking it would be comfortable for her. A place she’d feel safe.”
“When she came here to live with you.”
“Yeah.” He shrugged. “But things changed along the way. I figured out that everything I thought I wanted wasn’t what I wanted at all. You—” He shook his head. “What I’m feeling right now—seeing you walk down in those clothes,mine—can’t even be put into fucking words. I didn’t stop because you moved the tarp. I don’t care about the picture. Or this house. I stopped because of you. Because I see everything I’ve always wanted.”
He did not care about the picture. Or the house. But he cared enough about her to leave it up. To sell it instead of covering up something I would have to see every day—a reminder. I was a selfish bitch, but I never apologized for that. I would never apologize for that when it came to Harrison Ryan. She wanted no part of him, and I wanted it all. And that small part of him that regarded her as highly as it did stuck its burning claws in me.
You can need more than one person at once, Gigi. One person is never enough. Two people are never even enough together. Just look at all those married couples who are divorced. Or couples who have been together a long time. They always need more than one.
I’d turned my face away from Harrison’s, and when my thoughts faded and I turned back, he was standing on the step with me. His eyes were a hypnotizing shade in the light. The outer rim was a golden brown, but around the irises was a bluish green. His hair was dark, and it seemed to set them off.
He took my chin in his hand, his grip firm, like he was trying to communicate something to me through touch. When his lips touched mine, a pleading noise escaped from my lips that I had no control over. He made a similar noise at the same time, but it was deeper, more possessive, hungry.
His tongue demanded entrance, and I opened, getting so lost in the kiss that my hands fisted in his shirt to have something to hold on to. I had to break it because I needed to breathe.
His warm breath fanned against my chilled skin as he continued to kiss his way down my neck. “I’ve never needed anyone like this.”
My hand gripped the bottom of the sweatshirt, and I lifted it and the t-shirt over my head at the same time. One push and the baggy sweatpants fell to the floor. I used my feet to get them off, along with the socks.
My arms automatically went around Harrison’s neck as he lifted me off my feet and carried me to the bedroom. He shut the door behind him, then set me down.
“Undress me,” he said, his voice gruff. His eyes were hooded as he took in my naked body. When his eyes got to the apex of my thighs, he licked his lips. They were wet. “Your hands belong on me.”
His eyes closed as I lifted the shirt over his head. My hands drifted over his skin as I made my way toward the button of his jeans. I ran my finger underneath the waistband, feeling him contract at my touch. He groaned when my hand ran over his crotch. He was straining against the material.
When we were standing naked in front of each other, he lifted me off my feet again and set me down on the bed. He used his tongue to turn me on—just by kissing me. He kissed me and touched me, his hands all over my body, my hands all over his, and then he stopped. He looked me in the eyes. Then he entered me.
I closed my eyes and just…felt. Felt every inch of him take me away from my mind and closer to him. He moved slowly, relaxing my walls around him with each stroke. He was taking me with him someplace. Someplace that felt like it was made for only the two of us.
It felt like the equivalent of a permanent place to take root, where the sun could always reach me.
He lifted my face, kissed me again, and told me he loved me. And I gave myself over to him with a cry that soothed my soul.