Page 110 of Collision

She looks to the floor and I sigh.

“It’s not that, Mik. You freaking out was - well it was probably the most normal thing we’ve done in weeks.” I chuckle and she nods slowly. “But I want to say something and it might make you freak out again.”

“So far, your prediction is correct.” She moves away from me and almost instantly I need her closer again. Hence my own panic. If there is one thing thinking about the past can do to you, it’s shove the present down your throat until the truth of it feels like it’s going to burst from your skin and spill everywhere. “If you’re going to tell me I was right and that we’re a mistake, I think I’m going to puke. I was freaking out. You can’t use my freak out against me. Not when you worked so hard to get me out of that tailspin.”

I am screwing this all up.

“No. Not at all, Mik.” The words rush from me as if they have to escape into the air around us just to survive. “The opposite actually.”

“The opposite?” She pulls her lip between her teeth and I nod.

“The opposite. I - okay I’m just going to say it - I think - no I’m pretty certain that you’re incredible. Right? Like, you’re amazing Mik and - God you might not even remember this - but ten years ago - after my dad - you were drunk and I brought you home and you cuddled up to me, Mik. You fell asleep against me, and you were so calm and soft and you. You were just you, Mikaela, and I wanted you then and I don’t think I ever stopped. I - holy shit this is a lot messier than I thought it would be.” My pulse is drowning out my words and Mikaela takes a slow step towards me.

“Ben?” She reaches up to hold my face in her hands and pulls my lips to hers. “Breathe.”

When she kisses me I feel the tension seep out of my shoulders and I wrap my arms around her waist.

“I think I love you, Mikaela.”

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