“Maybe.”Cool it,I tell my dick. “What color are your eyes?”
“Grayish-green.”
“And your ears?”
“Um, same color as the rest of my skin, weirdo.”
I stifle a laugh. “I mean, are they pierced or not?”
“Oh, yeah. I have three piercings up the side of each ear. Anything else you want to know?”
“Your nose. Tiny button nose or big honker?”
“Big honker? Seriously? Why do you care? Do noses turn you on?”
“Sexiest part of the body, Firecracker. No, I’m just trying to get the whole picture.”
“Somewhere in between button andhonker. Now, what about you?”
“Okay, I also have freckles and fair skin. Not a full redhead, but I have auburn hair. I’m also tall and kinda gangly. Like, I’m muscular, but I’m thin. My nose is average-sized, long more than wide—in case you’re into nose porn, like me.” She giggles and my body fires up. “My eyes are a hazel green and I don’t have any piercings.”
“What about your penis?”
I choke on my own spit.Smooth.“Seriously?” I croak.
She’s quiet for a second, but then I realize it’s because she’s trying not to laugh. When she can’t hold it back anymore, the vibrant sound of her laughter fills my ear. I want to record it so I can listen to it all day.
“Fine, we can wait on the dick pics for ournextdate.”
“You’re killing me, Firecracker.”
“Have you ever come close?”
“Close to what?”
“Okay, don’t judge me, I know this is a weird question, but I’ll give you some background. When I was seven, I was playing in the creek, and I fell and hit my head on a rock. Fucked my tiny brain up, and I guess it was actually touch-and-go for a day or two. I don’t have too many memories from that time, but I do remember this bright blue-white light and turning and running away from it. So, when I meet new people, I always ask… have you ever come close to dying?”
That hits me right in the gut, for several reasons. One, the fact that she almost died makes me sick to my stomach, which in turn freaks me right the fuck out because the thought that I might not have met her makes me upset and angry. And I barely freaking know her. Of course, the other reason it hits so hard is because Ihavecome close to death. Which means I need to tell her why.
“Shoot. Did I totally freak you out?”
“No.” I keep my voice calm and even, though serious. “But those ugly mistakes of mine… they go along with this question.”
“Oh. Well, you don’t have to—”
“No. I want to. Well, I don’t want to. But I guess… I’d like you to know.”
“Then go ahead, mystery man. I’m all ears.”
“I was going through some serious shit, a lot of it because of my own mistakes and guilt, and I drove drunk. No. Drunk isn’t a strong enough word. I was wasted. I could barely stand. But I drove anyway. Passed out at the wheel. Hit a tree. Almost died. Honestly, I think I hovered on the brink of it for a little while, staring at that blue-white light.”
“But you didn’t move toward it?” Her voice is a soft whisper.
“No. Something pulled me back.”
“What?”
Here it goes.“The thought of my daughter.”