Page 61 of Half of My Heart

“I came back because I forgot my passport,” I mutter with zero emotion left in my voice.

She looks up at me with watery eyes and my chest aches to the point that it’s hard to breathe. “I’m so sorry for last night, Cal. I know I said some hurtful things but learning that you hired Chase to follow me felt like you didn’t trust me, that you were trying to control me and I realize that isn’t the case now. You were only trying to protect me, and I was too stubborn to listen,” she says rapidly, and my brain is trying to digest her words.

It’s exactly what I want to hear, but I still feel tormented. I can’t handle the yo-yo of emotions anymore. I gently grab her arms and move her to the side, trying to find where I left my passport because I can’t look at her right now while I think. I see it sitting on the entryway console and I grab it, placing it in my back pant pocket. I turn around and stand in front of her, taking a shaky breath before gazing down at her. I want this woman so fucking badly, but I need her to be all in. I need her to stop doubting me—to stop doubting us—and I just don’t know if she’s capable of that.

I stare at her with longing before smiling sadly and shaking my head. “I don’t have enough love for the both of us, Jenna,” I quietly tell her and I turn toward the door, my heart feeling like it’s going to explode into a thousand pieces.

She grabs my arm to prevent me from leaving, forcing me to stop. “I do love you, Cal. I’m so in love with you that…that I was just scared! Scared I was going to get hurt again.”

I close my eyes as she finally says the words I’ve been needing to hear, but I’m fucking struggling with my emotions. I’m bothered that this is coming out now when I’m leaving and not before last night. Is this genuine or is she just too scared? She barely trusts me.

“Please Cal, please don’t give up on me!” she cries out in anguish, and I open my eyes to look at her. “I promise this will never happen again.”

“How can you love me when you don’t even trust me, Jenna? We have nothing without trust!” I say harshly and I still have reservations about believing her because trust has been one of our issues all along. How can she just flip a switch so suddenly? Has the thought of losing me forever finally been her breakthrough?

“I do trust you, Cal, I do!” She smiles at me through her tears, and she can see how I’m still struggling with my feelings.

I narrow my eyes at her and reach for her hands, needing to feel her touch. I want to fucking believe her so badly, but I still have doubts. “You really trust me, Jenna?”

“Yes, Cal, I really do,” she says with conviction, squeezing my hands in reassurance.

She needs to prove herself to me in order for me to believe this. I think for a moment and then realize what I need from her. “Then come to Dubai with me now. You and me for two weeks by ourselves. I’ll take care of all the arrangements.”

She gasps and lets go of my hands, causing the balloon of hope that started to grow to immediately be punctured and deflated. I can see from her facial expressions that she’s having an internal battle with herself, and I start to get angry. “Why do you even hesitate?” I question, my voice rising with irritation.

She’s struggling to find the words to explain and is grasping for excuses. In my mind, she should fucking have none and I get more furious while she continues to stall. This just proves to me she still doesn’t trust me and isn’t ready.

“We’ll take great care of Avery, Jenna,” Pamela Pruitt’s voice interrupts and I didn’t even realize Jenna’s mother was here. Her confirming that they will take care of Avery for us fuels my fire even more.

“What are you so scared of, Jenna? Avery will be fine with your parents! Robert can handle your business. Why can’t you just say yes?” I ask in harshness, losing my patience with her. I need a fucking answer. I need to understand why she just can’t say yes and be with me.

“I…I don’t know.” Her words stumble out and she looks just as confused with herself as I am.

“Trust me, Jenna!” I yell out in frustration while throwing my arms up in the air. “I’m not your goddamn ex-husband. Why won’t you just take a chance on me? Haven’t I proven my love for you?” I say the last question in anguish, which causes her to suck in her breath. I know she can see how hurt I am, can feel the pain that is radiating off of me from her lack of action. She knows this is it for me, that I need more from her in order for this relationship to survive. Although I’m a man who knows his worth, I have feelings too. I need love and validation just like she does.

I grab her arms and lean into her, needing her to see I’m done with this game. “Take the goddamn risk of letting go of your control, letting yourself feel, regardless of how you may think the end is going to turn out. I know how it’s going to turn out if you take that chance on me.” I let her go and my arms fall away from her, and I gaze at her with sadness. “I would be your forever.”

Her tears are silently streaming down her face, and I feel emotionally spent. I’m defeated with a broken heart, and I need to get out of here. I start walking away from her and open the door, but something stops me from leaving.

Give her one more chance to come with and if she says no, you’re done.

I turn back around and hold out my hand while staring intensely at her. “Last chance, Jenna. What’s it going to be?” Her eyes are pleading at me, begging me not to do this but I will not waiver. Either she comes with me now or that is the end of us.

I watch her squeeze her eyes shut and I’m assuming it’s to not watch me walk away. I decide to count to five. If she doesn't agree in five seconds, I’m leaving.

One: She inhales a deep, body shaking breath.

Two: She opens her eyes and love is shining so brightly back at me that my breath catches in my throat.

Three: She takes a step forward.

Four: She places her hand in mine.

Five: She’s fucking mine and I crush her to my chest, my lips searing hers in a burning kiss that sets my soul on fire. We slowly break away from our kiss and I rest my forehead against hers. I open my eyes and stare at the woman who’s had my heart from the first moment I met her in first class on that airplane to Las Vegas.

“Go grab your passport. Don’t bother packing. We’ll buy you everything you need when we arrive in Dubai,” I tell her, giving her an encouraging smile to get moving.

She nods at me with happy tears and runs to her office where her safe is holding her passport. I turn to look at her mother, tears of joy running down her face and I mouth “Thank you” to her, because without her stepping up and encouraging her daughter to go, she might not be coming with me right now.

Jenna comes out of her office with her passport and stuffs it in her purse. She runs to her mother and gives her a tight hug, thanking her for watching our daughter. She turns back to me with the biggest smile on her face and I’m so fucking relieved to see there’s no hesitation and no regrets about the decision she just made. We say goodbye to her mother and walk out of the condo hand in hand.

“Are you ready for our next adventure, sweetheart?” I ask her while we stride briskly toward the elevator.

“I’m ready for a lifetime of adventures with you, my love,” she tells me with love beaming at me from her eyes. The elevator doors open, and I pin her to the wall, hit the down button with my finger and then ravish those lips of hers.

Jenna Pruitt is ready to be mine forever and now we can live in happiness, without fear or excuses, and have unwavering trust.

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