Page 133 of Overtime

That is definitely the kind of admission none of us would dare make in our current locker rooms. Guys in our line of work can’t show weakness, especially not if we expect to be leaders on the field. Unfortunately for the three of us, we’ve already seen each other at our lowest, so there’s no reason to hide the truth. Which makes me wonder why they’re both playing their cards close to the vest now.

Mike leans back in his chair and huffs out a dark laugh. “Too bad, bro. You can’t rewind time. You’re gonna be a dad in about a month whether you’re ready or not.”

There’s a hint of bitterness in Mike’s voice that makes me cut my gaze to him. I don’t think he’s questioning himself the way Alex is, but he definitely does not like surprises either.

I promised I’d be their quarterback for life, so I guess it’s time to pony up. I don’t know how I’m going to reassure them that everything will be okay. I was never in the same headspace they are. Evie and I wanted to start our family. We were ready. Finding out she was pregnant was one of the happiest days of my life. And I didn’t even know the hell that was waiting around the corner.

Maybe that’s the problem…

“You’re doing all the right things,” I assure him. Them. “Think about how you prepare before a big game. This is kind of the same, right? You’ve watched films; you’ve studied your opponent; you’ve practiced running your routes until you can do it in your sleep. When it’s game day, you’ll do the best you can.”

Alex rolls his eyes. “Great pep talk. Thanks. Mind if I borrow your baby for a month, so I can get in some actual practice? I don’t think watching videos of how to change a diaper is really the same thing as wrestling a screaming baby who pisses and shits all the time.”

Mike chuckles. “Right. While you’re at it, maybe write up a game plan for how to cope on no sleep. Better yet, what to do if something goes wrong. You have plenty of experience with that.”

I nod. Okay, so Mike is worried about worst-case scenarios, and Alex is worried about his play. I can work with that.

“Things can—and will—go wrong.” I blow out a controlled breath. “Whether it’s a complicated labor or getting pissed on the first few times you change a diaper. Even if you’re as prepared as you can possibly be, it’s different when you’re in the moment instead of reading about it. You just have to focus. One breath at a time. One heartbeat at a time. The doctors will do their job. Let them. The woman will do her job. Let her. Support her. You have to pivot now. It’s not about you anymore. It’s about the baby. Everyone knows what to do except that new human. If you think this shit is scary to you, imagine how that baby feels. Suddenly, everything is bright and loud and cold and…dry.”

Alex’s expression curdles. Even Mike coughs a little at the idea.

If they think talking about it is gross, I’m gonna make Evie a new bet about which one of them passes out in the delivery room. For the record, my money’s on Alex. I’m also gonna pray neither of them goes through what we went through.

“You’re a backup in this game. That baby needs its mother. Her heartbeat, her warmth, her milk, her love.”

Mike interrupts, “What if something happens to the mother? Evie was in a fucking coma for a few days after almost dying during labor. She couldn’t give Robbie any of that.”

I shake off the images of her blood that will probably haunt me until the day I die. I can’t change the past. All I can do is be present and hope for the future. “No. She couldn’t. If that happens, then it’s time to be the best damn backup you can be. You’re not mom, but you’re not the opposing team either. The baby knows your voice. Use it. The hospital will provide bottles. Feeding a baby isn’t rocket science. They’re hungry all the time. The baby is used to a constant heartbeat and warmth. Take off your shirt and provide it. Skin-to-skin contact is important for bonding.”

Alex barks out a laugh then takes another hit of his cigar. “That’s not the kind of skin-to-skin action I want to be involved in.”

“Skin-to-skin action is what makes babies in the first place,” Mike fires back.

“I know,” Alex retorts, frowns, swallows thickly, then grabs the back of his neck like he wants to rip it off to end his anxiety. He’s not faking his emotions now. “Is it…normal for pregnant women to be horny all the time?”

Mike shakes his head like he thinks Alex is being ridiculous, but I get it. Boy, do I get it. I lean forward and cut a glance toward the patio door to make sure no one’s going to overhear this. These guys already know the real me. I don’t have to worry about their judgment, but my wife will cut my balls off if she hears my brutal honesty.

“She almost broke my dick,” I hiss. “I haven’t been that raw since I was thirteen and realized it felt good to play with it.”

Mike’s eyes widen. I can’t tell if he’s excited or worried.

Alex rubs his forehead. “Dammit, Falls. You’re supposed to be making me feel better, not worse.” He throws his arm toward the patio doors. “She’s going to kill me! I’m not kidding! I’m not gonna make it another month like this!”

“Holy shit,” Mike mutters. “This is a thing? This is a thing.” He turns toward me with building panic in his eyes. “What else do you know? Tell us everything. All the shit no one prints in those books.”

I might feel bad for them, but here’s the thing. For years, I was always the last to know in the locker room. I was the last to experience. Mike and Alex didn’t necessarily ride my ass about it like the other guys, but they didn’t go easy on me either.

My, how the tables have turned.

A slow smile spreads across my face. I can’t help it. I should be reassuring them, but I can’t pass up this golden opportunity either. “If you think baby shit is bad, wait until you see and smell adult shit in the delivery room. Even after the nurses clean it up, the smell lingers. You are never going to look at the promised land the same way again.”

Alex turns green and wavers a bit on his feet. “No. No way. Never have and never will be into shit fetishes. That’s a hard limit.”

I could quit while I’m ahead, but I’ve never been a quitter. “Have you read about mastitis yet?”

Mike audibly gulps. “You told us about it at the Sing Out gala. Said it was a blocked milk duct or something.”

“That’s right.” I nod sagely. Just to really sell it. “Remember how I also told you breastmilk tastes like honey? Yeah, well… not when it’s been curdling in there for a few days.”

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