Page 62 of Provocation (Temptation 3)

“Why not?”

“I was only twenty-six, in my ‘prime child-bearing years’, according to a lot of medical practitioners. It didn’t matter how vehemently I insisted I didn’t want any more children. Many doctors still refused. When I found one who claimed to be willing, they wanted to make sure I had my husband’s consent.” She barked out a laugh. “It didn’t matter I never consented to him impregnating me in the first place. I needed his consent to have a procedure done on my own body.”

She drew in a quivering breath, angrily wiping at the tears on her face.

“I was in a really dark place back then. If it weren’t for Imogene…” She shook her head. “Well, I doubt I’d be here today if I didn’t have her. She saved my life. After watching her little body fight to survive those early days, I knew I needed to fight to survive, too. She became my purpose for living. For everything. She still is.”

My heart squeezed at the despair in her words. I was on the verge of restating my argument against her seeing Nick in prison, but she continued before I could, her voice bright, a complete shift from a moment ago.

“Eventually, I found a doctor who would do the procedure, no questions asked. Wes even lent me the money so it wouldn’t show up on any insurance statement.”

“Did Nick ever find out? Weren’t there scars?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Did you ever notice scars?”

I shook my head. And I liked to think I knew her body rather intimately.

“They healed pretty quickly. After just a few weeks, it was only a small, red blemish.” She pulled the duvet down, revealing her naked torso. Then she pointed to a subtle, pink mark on the right side of her lower abdomen, an identical mark on the opposite side, as well. “It’s why I was able to do it. Because I knew the scars would heal quickly. So when I say I can’t get pregnant, it’s not a case of having some IUD removed. Or even because of my age. I can’t get pregnant, Lachlan. I made sure it was no longer a possibility years ago.”

“Because of Nick,” I stated.

She nodded. “Because of Nick.”

I closed my eyes as I processed this.

Truthfully, when she’d mentioned she couldn’t get pregnant, I assumed it was simply because she was on some form of birth control. Never in my wildest imagination could I have guessed she essentially sterilized herself because of what her asshole ex-husband put her through.

He deserved getting stabbed in the balls.

Hell, he deserved worse than that. Deserved to spend years living in fear for his life, like Julia still did.

“If that’s a dealbreaker, I understand,” Julia interjected when I didn’t immediately say anything. “You’re young. You have your entire life ahead of you. I can’t give you a family. I saw you with Nikko. Know how close you were with Claire. With your mother. You’ll never have that with me. And every time I watch you with Eli or Imogene, or remember how amazing you were with all those kids in your Little League, all I can think is that now I’m the one who’s going to steal something from you. Like Nick stole so much from me.”

I cupped her face in my hands, my gaze unwavering as I peered into her eyes, not allowing her to look away.

“Don’t. Don’t even think like that, Julia. I don’t care about any of that.”

“But you should care, Lachlan. You should really consider if I’m worth giving all that up. Because that’s exactly what you’d have to do to be with me. Give up any dreams of having your own children.”

“That’s not a dealbreaker for me. I haven’t thought about having children of my own in years. Not since…” I trailed off, not needing to say it. Julia understood.

I swiped away a few of her tears with my thumbs. “If being with you has taught me anything, it’s that sometimes dreams change. You’re my dream now. What’s it going to take for you to realize that? To realize you deserve to be happy? That you make me happier than I thought possible. Like I said in Hawaii…” I curved toward her. “I just want to be with you. Nothing more. Nothing less.” My lips brushed hers.

“Nothing less,” she repeated against my mouth.

I rested my forehead on hers, closing my eyes as I savored in this connection. Prayed it would be strong enough to help us weather the storm I sensed brewing offshore.

“Nothing less.”

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