Page 105 of Moonlit Kisses

I shake my head, my voice mute for a moment. “Uh, no. Can’t say I have.” The awkwardness I felt earlier has increased tenfold, knowing my grandmother reads soft porn. I don’t know whether to feel mortified or proud. I mean good on her, I guess. Perhaps I should introduce her to Rhonda. They could compare book boyfriends. I giggle internally at the idea of Rhonda with her bright pink hair swooning over book boyfriends with my grandmother, who appears to be as proper as a minister’s wife.

I came here to apologize for my behavior when we first met. Once I calmed down, I was mortified at how I had run out of the house and left Max to deal with the aftermath. It was unfair and probably not the best first impression to give my grandmother. I take a sip of my coffee to soothe my dry throat and draw in a deep breath for fortitude. “Uh, I … I, uh, owe you an apology.”

Her posture softens. “Oh, Molly. You don’t owe me anything at all. It’sIwho oweyouan apology. I should have fought harder, stood up to my husband. I never should have allowed him to speak to Nicole the way he did. I believe she ran away because of what he said to her. Because of his threats.” A loud sob escapes. “I’m so sorry, Molly. I let my daughter down, and I let you down.” She covers her face with both hands and the urge to comfort this stranger is strong.

I move to the cushion next to her, wrapping my arm around her shoulder. Beth told me that Joanna left her husband, my grandfather, not long after Mom ran away. She blamed him and his demand for an abortion for losing Mom. I’m not sure I’d be sitting here if she were still with him, because I don’t think I could get past the way he spoke to Mom.

He didn’t want me.

How could I possibly forge a relationship with the man?

The idea is impossible.

I’m not sure what I can say to make things better for Joanna. Do I accept her apology? But to me, that would mean I blame her. And deep down, I don’t. I’ve been thinking about the whole situation a lot since I moved here. And I mean a lot!

I love Mom and I’ll forever be on her side no matter what, because ultimately, she thought she was doing the right thing. The choices she made were to protect me because she wanted me. But … now I’ve heard the other side of the story and I’ve learned that maybe if Mom had taken a few days to let things settle instead of reacting so quickly, things probably would have turned out very differently. Which means some of the responsibility has to fall on her shoulders and it makes me wonder if she ever doubted the choices she made? Did she ever consider going home? Is it possible she realized her mistake, but was too proud to return to her family and friends?

I understand being prideful. After all, I get that trait from her.

“Joanna.” She removes her trembling hands from her face, revealing tear-stained cheeks and puffy red eyes. “The entire situation was unexpected and messy. Things were said and choices were made. Were they the best choices?” I shrug. “Maybe, maybe not. But they were the choices made at the time in the heat of the moment. We can’t go back and change anything and, to be honest, I wouldn’t want to. Was life difficult as a result? Yes, it was. I’m not gonna lie or sugarcoat things.” I give my grandmother a small smile of reassurance. “But life was also great. Mom and I had a bond that not all mothers and daughters share.” A boulder forms in my throat as I think about Mom and I have to swallow it down so I can continue.

“We were close, and our love for each other was unbreakable. Not once did I ever question how important I was to her or how much she loved me. She always, always put me and my needs first. Even though we couldn’t afford a traditional home, she always made sure I had nutritious food, even if it meant going without herself. Then Mom met Jack.” I smile as I remember meeting him for the first time.

“He was the best man you could hope your daughter and granddaughter to have in our lives. He was kind and generous to both of us. From the beginning, he treated me as if I were his flesh and blood. And then Ethan came along.” And my heart cracks a little, as it does whenever I think of him, and a life cut too short. “I wouldn’t wish for a life where I’d never had him. So, maybe things didn’t turn out the way you maybe hoped they would, but we had a good life.”

She takes my free hand in both of hers. “I hope you can forgive me, though.”

I give her a small smile. “There’s nothing to forgive.”

She squeezes my hand. “Thank you, Molly. You’re being very gracious. Perhaps someday you’ll share stories about growing up and tell me all about my grandson.”

I nod. “I’d be happy to.” I fidget with my bracelet. “I don’t really know all that much about Mom’s childhood or teenage years, so perhaps you can tell me more about her?”

She smiles at me. “Of course. I still have all of her photo albums. I think I’ve even got some videos.” She chuckles. “Though I may need to get them transferred into another format, since I don’t have a video player anymore.” She pats my hand and climbs to her feet. “I’ll grab the photo albums. We can look at them now.”

Joanna comes back carrying several albums. When she opens to the first page of the first album, a gasp escapes me. “Oh my gosh. She was so cute. I’ll have to bring the few baby photos I have so we can compare how much I looked like her.”

She studies me. “You hold a remarkable resemblance to Nicole, even though you have some of Martin’s prominent features. I’m sure you looked just like Nicole when you were a baby.”

Joanna spends the afternoon showing me photos of Mom until the age of seventeen, when the album abruptly remains starkly blank. We’re both silent for long moments at the reminder of the years she’s missed. Christian breaks the moment when he suddenly wakes and starts barking at nothing.

I remember I’ve got some more recent photos on my phone, so I show them to her. Tears fill her eyes as she sees her daughter as a grown woman with the family she made for herself.

After long quiet moments, I decide now is the time to invite my grandmother to my wedding. “Uhm, Joanna. I have something I would like to ask you. Max asked me to marry him and I said yes.” My tummy still flips when I think back to his proposal on the beach.

Her face lights up. “Oh, he seemed like such a lovely young man. He cares very much for you. I’m thrilled you’ve met such a wonderful man.”

“Me too.” My lips spread across my face, thinking about Max. “I was wondering if you’d like to come to our wedding? We don’t have a date or time just yet, but it will be next month.”

“Oh, I’d love to. Thank you for the invitation.” She jumps up from her seat. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

I’m puzzled by her abrupt departure, but I stand to look out of the window at the shared gardens while I wait for her. My grandmother has a peaceful view out of this window. Perhaps I should call her grandma or something?

Joanna returns with a small box. She hands it to me with a timid smile. “This is something my mother gave me to wear at my wedding and I had hoped Nicole would wear it for hers.” Her smile becomes somber. “I would be thrilled if you would consider wearing this on your special day.”

I open the box and my mouth drops open. Inside is a beautiful sparkling pendant. I tip my eyes back up to Joanna. “This is beautiful. I would love to wear this, though I don’t know what the design of my dress will be yet.”

She raises her hands to her chest. “Oh, you’ve made me so happy. It’s meant to represent the stars in the night sky.”

“Max proposed to me under a moonlit sky, so we’re planning to get married at sunset. This would be amazing. Thank you.”

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