Page 31 of The Third Girl

CHAPTER 14

SKYLAR

I let out a relieved sigh as I drop my students off for their PE class. I’ve got thirty minutes to myself, and I should totally get some planning done, but I also feel like crashing hard and vegging for the entire time.

This week has gone by in a bit of a blur. I’m not sorry that I agreed to help Matt, but I now realize I had no clue how difficult it would be to get myself and a child up and out the door by 7:20 a.m. And Sailor has been fighting that cold all week, so I can’t say I’m not relieved for a couple of days off.

I do feel terrible that my break means Matt is on solo parent duty, though. On one hand, I keep reminding myself that it’s his kid, and he’s used to it. But on the other hand, he didn’t sign up to do this alone.

He’s been a tiny bit distant since Sunday, and I suppose I understand that. I mean, it’s awkward that he’s seen my rear end. Every night when I show up, I wonder if he’s thinking about it. Despite that uncomfortable moment, we’ve actually gotten into a rhythm where I show up and he fills me in on anything I need to know before he bolts out the door to get to the station. During the week, I don’t see him in the mornings, so our interaction has been rather limited to a hurried hello, goodbye, and a few text messages to check in. Nothing personal. Definitely no other opportunities for him to catch me bare-assed in his kitchen.

I need to get my brain off the Matt train. On so many occasions this week, I’ve found myself daydreaming, wondering what it would be like if he and I were a couple. It’s easy to do when I’m in his home practically every night. The minute I do, though, I’m reminded by any number of things that Matt’s still in the grieving process.

Maybe it’s time I started trying to date or something. What if I’m fixated on him because he’s the only guy I’m around on a regular basis? But man, I hate the thought of the entire dating scene. I’ve had no luck with guys at all. I’m beginning to think I might be alone forever.

“Hey, would you wait up, Skylar!” Laney’s harsh whisper-shout makes me pivot on my heel.

I frown. Has she been calling out to me, but I’m so wound up I didn’t hear her? From the look on her face, that’d be a yes. “Hey. Sorry.”

“Didn’t you hear me tell you to wait for me as you passed my door?” Laney’s look is nothing short of quizzical. Completely confused. “You looked right at me and nodded.”

“Really?” My teeth clench as my brows draw together. “I’m sorry. I’m out of it.”

She takes me gently by the elbow and guides me into her room, then gestures to one of the tiny chairs. “Sit.” She parks herself on the edge of her desk and folds her arms across her chest. “What’s up?”

“I—” I grimace and raise my hands in a classic I-don’t-know gesture.

“I’m calling bull…”—she cups her hands around her mouth and quietly says—“shit on that one, honey. You’ve been scatterbrained all week, and that’s not you at all. You know I’m right, so you may as well just tell me what’s up.”

I groan, feeling a bit like a chastised child, but also totally seeing where she’s coming from. Monday, I forgot to take my students to their art class until the art teacher showed up at the door. I didn’t bring my lunch with me on Tuesday and was forced to down a nasty hamburger from the cafeteria. Wednesday, I had my top on backwards until Jackie told me. And yesterday, I totally spaced in the middle of the science lesson on ladybugs that I was team teaching with Laney.So, yeah. Hot mess express, right here.

“Out with it.” Laney’s voice is sterner than usual.

“Well, you were the one who asked me if I’d help Matt with Sailor…”

“Yeah…” She squints at me as if she’s trying to see what I’m getting at and not quite connecting the dots.

I heave out a breath. “Well first, I love it, I do. But Sailor’s been down with a cold and cranky. The wholegetting us out of the house so I can drop her with Lucy in the morningshas been rough. But I think we’re getting better at it.” I nod, trying to convince myself that’s true. Sailor’s a handful, that’s for sure, sick or not. But she’s also spunky and adorable, and I love being there for her.

“Okay. That all makes sense. You’ve cared for kids before, but not in combination with working.”

“True.” My gaze slides down and to the right. I’m not lying. But also, not telling the full truth.

And of course, that’s what Laney picks up on. “So, what aren’t you saying?”

I drag in a ragged breath before I let loose with everything that’s been in my head in one rushed sentence. “I think I like Matt, but it’s whatever because he’s still hurting over his wife. And I’m working for him. And he’s not interested anyway, doesn’t even look at me like that. Probably because I’m only twenty-six and he’s lived a lot more life than I have.” I finally pause to take a breath, entirely embarrassed at every bit of what I told her, but then figure I may as well finish. “I’m silly to think—”

“Okay, stop right there.” When I look up, Laney’s gaze has softened, and she rubs a few fingers over her forehead. “When you say you like him… you mean likethat.”

My face flushes, and then like an idiot, I flap my hands in front of my face in an effort to cool it. “N-no, I mean…”

“Skylar, I’ve never heard you stutter before.” She pauses, studying my quickly reddening features. “Youlikehim.”

I throw my hands out from my sides. “I don’t know. I feel a connection to him. He’s kind. Dependable. Mature. Good taste in music.” The other night, he listened to Pearl Jam while he showered. I heard it all the way down the hall. I bite down hard on my lip. “Nice to look at.” Heat radiates from my face. “Not like the guys I usually date.”

Laney has been steadily nodding as I tick off all the things I like about Matt, and now she presses her lips together.

Eyeing her carefully, I get the sneaking suspicion that she’s trying to keep herself from laughing. “I’m glad this amuses you. Because he’s everything I’ve thought I was looking for and it sucks because I don’t have a chance in hell with him. The closest I’ll ever get is rolling around on the floor with him in a freaking self-defense class.”

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