“I’m smiling because you’re so stinking cute when you’re flustered, and it’s something I rarely see from you.” Laney tilts her head to the side and wets her lips. “And, frankly, I’m wondering how I missed that you felt this way, that’s all. How long has it been?”
Her eyes are pinned on me, studying me. She’s absolutely going to read it on my face, so I may as well say it. “I started noticing him at that first self-defense class. But I didn’t talk to him until the last one. And then I’ve been working for him for, what? Just a week or so now.”
“And how’s that going? Really?”
I purse my lips, thinking carefully about how I want to answer—because some of the things that Matt’s shared and other things I’ve picked up on are things he’s confided in me, and I don’t want to break that trust, no matter that Laney is his friend. “Matt’s life is a minefield of things that could set him off. But I knew that going in. And… I get him. I lost my brother eleven years ago, so I understand his grief must be overwhelming at times.” I take a deep breath, then let it all out. “I think I could help him, if he’d let me.”
When I look up, Laney’s eyes are wide with surprise. “Wow. Sorry, I didn’t expect all that. It’s clear that you really do like him. Um. Honest opinion?”
“Always. Tell me what you think. You know him pretty well.”
“Yeah.” She shrugs. “Logan and I were divorced when Matt lost Terri last year. But I still heard things. It was awful, that accident. He was messed up for a long time afterward. I think you should be cautious.” She taps her finger to her lips. “But also, I love that you care so much. For both of them. Do you have any idea how he feels?”
I do care for them. I really do. But I have no clue how he feels. “I don’t know. And it’s not as easy as asking him because he’s technically my boss, and it feels weird taking money from him while I shoot heart eyes at him. So. I’m wondering if I’m just ready to date again and he’s the first guy to pay me any attention in a while.”
Laney nods, taking in what I’ve said. “Maybe going on a few dates wouldn’t be so bad. It might at least help you understand what exactly you’re feeling for Matt. Is there someone else specific that you’re thinking of?”
“Not really.” I give her a big, fake smile, then look down as I mumble, “I hate dating.”
She winces. “I know, it sucks.”
I stare at my hands in my lap for a few moments before I glance up, meeting her gaze again. “Could you not tell Logan? I don’t want Matt to know that we talked. Not about the me-and-him that doesn’t exist.”
“I doubt it’ll even come up.” She heaves out a sigh. I can tell from her intense expression that she’s mulling something over. “You know… the more I think about it, the more the idea of you and Matt is growing on me. He might surprise you. He might be ready to put himself back out there.”
My eyes slam shut. “I’m glad you think so, but I’m beginning to think we’re a disaster waiting to happen. We’d be risking a lot.”
“Okay. But are the risks greater than the reward? That’s what you have to consider.”