Page 82 of The Accidental Wife

Shayla turns and looks at me through the window. Our eyes meet, and when I see tears roll down her cheeks, everything in my being hurt so fucking much.

I clench my jaw tight. My fingers were trembling, so I fist them to stop myself from walking over there and holding onto her for dear life. Shayla kisses her index and middle fingers and presses them over her heart. I kiss mine and press it to mine, and we nod. My eyes burn as I blink back the tears. That was a gesture we did when we were in Nice while we were making love. Shayla had taken my fingers, kissed them, and placed them over her heart. It was so sweet and so meaningful that I kissed her till I hadn’t a breath left in me. It was just a silent way of us telling each other that we cared deeply for one another.

Shayla will forever hold a special place in my heart.

I bite the inside of my cheek when she picks up her box and flowers and walks away. I sit up and almost went after her to at least walk her to her car, but I couldn’t. I honestly couldn’t handle saying goodbye to her again. Once she disappeared, I push the button, frosting the glass looking into my office. I rush over to the bathroom in my office. I grip the side of the basin and look at myself in the mirror. “Let her go,” I whisper through clenched teeth. “Let her go.” I close my eyes and finally let the tears fall free.Was this it? Was it over just like that?

I shake my head and go after her. I can’t leave it like this, I can’t. Not with her. I race out of the office, not even caring if my employees watched me, and looked up at the numbers at the top of the elevator. She’s on the 20th floor. I can still make it if I hurry. I run to the stairs and take them two at a time till I get to the car park. I see her standing by her car. She’s talking to someone on the phone, her voice echoing in the parking lot.

“I’m done Aimee, this nightmare is finally over. After our divorce tomorrow I’m finally free. I can be myself again. Do you have any idea how hard it’s been for me the last six months? Taking shit left and right from his family and the media. I just kept burying that crap and pretending like I was okay when I wasn’t. I did what was expected of me. I kept my promise. That weight I’ve been carrying on my shoulders has finally lifted, and I feel like I can breathe again. After tomorrow, I’m free of him.” I hear her say, and I close my eyes.

I knew she was miserable. I just knew it. The façade she had put on would slip from time to time, and I could see the sadness in her eyes for being stuck in this situation, but I chose to ignore it for my own selfish reasons. As much as I care deeply for her, she doesn’t want to be in my life and couldn’t wait to get away from me, and I have to respect that. I sigh and stand behind a pillar and watch her as she gets in the car and drives off. I close my eyes and press my head back against the pillar swallowing the lump forming in my throat.

It’s over.

* * *

I sat at my desk,staring at her empty one. So many memories flash through my mind’s eye. There was one day where I was annoying her constantly by pushing the buzzer until she got so angry she pulled the plug off the wall and flipped me off. Or the day she spilled coffee all over us, and we had to shower in my office before anyone got here. I have so many memories with her, and I’ll carry every single one in my heart forever.

I couldn’t breathe in that office. I drove around the city aimlessly for a while, not wanting to go home yet. Sophie is blowing up my phone with calls and texts— a habit of hers I absolutely loathe. If I don’t answer, it means I’m busy or don’t want to talk. Which right now, it’s the latter. I just want to be alone. I put my phone on airplane mode and drove—a million thoughts on my mind. I find a quiet little venue and sit at the bar. “Scotch,” I utter stonily. “Leave the bottle.” I sigh and pour myself a double and sip it. That first sip felt like heaven. I don’t want to feel anything tonight. Halfway through the bottle, I sense someone sidle up beside me.

“Hi,” I don’t even look up from the glass I’m currently staring into. “You look as though you could use a drinking partner there, darling.”

“I’m managing perfectly fine on my own, thank you,” I speak frostily. I lift my gaze and look at the young woman sitting beside me, and I sigh, licking my lips. “Does this look like the face of someone who wants to be bothered?” I scowl at her, and she scoffs and scampers off, muttering under her breath. I finish off the bottle and walk to my car. I can’t drive like this. I curse and unlock my phone and while I fumble to find Josh’s number. I accidentally pull up a photo of Shayla and me and stare at it. She’s grinning at the camera, and I’m laughing with my forehead pressed to her temple.

She had made some stupid joke just before she took the picture that made me laugh till I was crying.

I sit on the curb flicking through photos on my phone of her, of us, and my insides ache. I hadn’t realised how attached I became to her over the six months. I send a text to Josh with my location and ask him to pick me up. Whilst I was waiting for him to arrive, I stare at Shay’s number, wondering if I should call her just to hear her voice. I miss her so fucking much.

“Cole? What the hell, man? What are you doing out in the damn sticks?” He asks, perching down in front of me. I blink up at him from my reclined position on the floor.

“I was driving and driving, and then I was here. Shall we have a drink? Come on, lemme buy you a drink.” I slur, and Josh helps me up to my feet.

“I think you’ve had enough to drink for the both of us, mate. What were you thinking, getting yourself in this state?” He scolds me while dragging me to his mustang. I fall into the passenger seat, and Josh shakes his head.

“I wanted to not feel.” I smile at him, and he frowns. “It didn’t work. I still feel everything.”

Josh gets into his car, and we drive. “Not feel what? Did you and Sophie break up again or something?” I scoff and shake my head.

“No. No, we’re good,” I mumble, waving my hand and chuckle.

“So, what’s got you in this state bro? Shouldn’t you be with her right now?” Josh asks, giving me a side glance before looking ahead again.

“Nah, bro. Sophie is awesome, and I love her so fucking much, but she’s just…” I sigh longingly and shake my head and lift my phone and look at the photo of Shayla. “She’s not her.”

Josh rolls his eyes, shaking his head, “Jesus, Cole. I thought you decided you were letting this Shayla thing go man?”

“I am!” I shout angrily. “She fucking left. She left work, she’s left home, she’s leaving me tomorrow!” I groan and turn my head to look at Josh. “Will you take me to her?”

Josh laughs, shaking his head. “No. You show up at her door like this, she’s going to think you’re a moron. The only place you’re going right now is to bed, my friend. You need to sleep it off. You’re going to see her tomorrow anyway. You can tell her whatever you need to tell her there.” He explains, and I groan, staring out of his window up at the black sky.

An hour later, Josh carries, half drags me through my apartment to my bedroom. “No, no, no,” I mumble, pointing at Shayla’s bedroom. “In there.” Josh nods and carries me over to her bed, and drops me down on it. The whole room still smelt like her, and it made my heart clench hard, especially when I hug her pillow and sniff it. Coconut and passion fruit. “Mmm Shay.” I moan before I drift off to sleep.

* * *

The next morning,I woke up to a dry mouth and thumping headache. I roll onto my back and peel my eyes open. I blink and stare up at the ceiling. It took a long moment for my memory to come flooding back from last night. I sit up when I remember the divorce hearing was today. I lean over and look at the time. Shit, I had less than an hour to get ready and make my way down to the courthouse. I force myself up off the bed, my head was thumping terribly, so I took a couple of pain killers and had a hot shower. I still felt like shit, but at least the headache was down to a dull ache and more tolerable.

I slide on my shades as I walk into the courthouse and find Franc inside, waiting by the entrance. “Oh, Mr Hoult, there you are. I thought you weren’t going to show up.” Franc tells me, and I nod, looking around.

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