“No,” I shake my head. “No, you don’t get to be sorry. You don’t get to be sorry!” I scream at him. “How could you let me think you went off to die? Didn’t you stop to think for one second how I would have felt if anything happened to you?!” I cry, and he watches me, tears flowing down his face. “I was convinced you weren’t coming back, and I blamed myself for pushing you over the edge. I blamed my damn self, you son of a bitch!” I scream, and Cole shakes his head, reaches out and grabs my arm, he pulls me against him.
“No!” I whimper, pushing at his chest, but he wraps his arms around me tight, and I fight in his hold. “I thought you were gone.” I cry and collapse into his arms. “I thought you left me here to live without you.” I sob hoarsely into his chest, and Cole buries his face into my neck, sobbing with me.
“I wanted to. I tried, but I couldn’t, Shayla. I thought about ending it all countless times, but every time I tried, I saw your face, and I couldn’t do it.” He states, pressing his lips to my forehead, his eyes closed. “I couldn’t leave you.” He pulls my head back and looks into my eyes, his thumbs wiping away the endless tears. “I was in a dark place, and I couldn’t see a way out of it, but you saved me from doing something stupid,” Cole explains, looking into my face.
“Why didn’t you call me? I left you a thousand messages.” I ask, and he presses his forehead to mine.
“I broke my phone. I didn’t want to be found, Shayla. I wanted to disappear from everything and everyone. Especially you.” He sighs, and I close my eyes.
“I would have never forgiven myself if anything happened to you.” I cry, and Cole brushes his fingers through my hair. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper, and Cole shakes his head slowly.
“Shayla, you’re the last person who should apologise for anything. You’re the only innocent one in this whole mess. It’s my fault, not yours. Do you understand me?”
“Cole, what have we done?” I whisper, looking at him, and he sighs heavily. “Look at us, how did we get here?” I ask him, and he bites his split lip and winces. “When did things get so toxic between us?”
“I don’t know.” I look at his face, his cheek is starting to bruise, and his lips are busted and bleeding. I brush my fingers over his bruise, and his eyes close at my touch. I still couldn’t believe he was alive and well. “I’m okay, sweetheart,” Cole assures me as if reading my mind. He lifts my face and looks at the bruise and cut on my cheek. “Who did this to you?”
“Doesn’t matter.” I sigh, twisting my face away, and he frowns, turning it again so I could look at him.
“It matters to me. Who? Was it my mother again?” He questions, his tone hard, and I shake my head. “Who, Shayla?” I lift my gaze to him, and he sighs, closing his eyes. “Sophie.”
“She was worried about you, and she lashed out at me. It’s no big deal. Aimee told her off enough for the both of you, so please just let it go.” I plead with him, and Cole exhales deeply.
“I hate myself for everything I’ve put you through.” He admits earnestly, his thumb brushing over my cheek. “Please forgive me.”
I close my eyes and wrap my arms around his neck, and he hugs me tightly. “I’m so relieved you’re okay. Nothing else matters to me, Cole.” I whisper. “I love you so much, please don’t ever do that again.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.” He sighs, burying his face into my neck. I pull away from him and stare at the floor.
“Cole, I’m leaving,” I tell him, licking my lips. “I can’t do this anymore; the pain of being around you is just unbearable. I have to go before either one of us does something stupid.” I add looking at him. “I made a promise to myself that if you came back safe and alive, I would go, and I’m going to keep my promise.”
Cole’s eyes fill with tears, and he nods. “I understand.” He whispers sullenly, looking down at the floor. I was expecting him to refuse, but it seems he’s finally given up fighting for us. It felt so final this time. “I’m never going to see you again, am I?”
I shake my head. “No, this is for the best for us both. Please, don’t try and find me or come after me.” I plead, and he nods slowly, staring at the floor. I walk over to him, lift his head, and kiss him one last time before I pull back, pressing my forehead to his. “Goodbye, Cole Hoult,” I whisper, and I feel his hand tighten on my hips.
“Goodbye, Shayla Hart.” He whispers back, his voice quivering. I pull away and turn to walk away, and Cole’s hand that was holding mine squeezes it, and I still for a second, my eyes closed, I lost my breath, I felt that squeeze in my heart. I exhale slowly and force myself to walk away without looking back. Cole’s grip loosens, and my fingers slip away from his—just as our fateful love has slipped from us.
The apartment door closed behind me, and I lean on it for support. I bite my lip hard and squeeze my eyes shut when I hear his stifled sob on the other side of the door. I turn and press my forehead and palm to the door. “I love you, you stupid boy,” I whisper before I walk away down the corridor, heartbroken and beaten, and my life in ruins. I’ve walked away countless times, but this time was the hardest.
Because it was final, and we both knew it.