Page 76 of Love Me Again

“Shayla, I’m not hungry.” I sigh. “I have a headache. I just want to see Alaia and go to bed.”

“Cole, please don’t be like this,” She cries quietly. I press my molars together and blink away the tears that gather in my own eyes at the broken tone of her voice.

“Like what?” I ask evenly, looking at the ground. I know if I take one look at her, especially when she’s crying like this, my emotions will come apart at the seams, and I’ll fall apart. Shayla takes my hand and forces me to turn and face her. I keep my eyes cast down.

“You’re being cold and distant. You won’t even look at me.” She states, reaching to lift my gaze to her, but I turn my head, looking at the wall beside her head instead. “Cole, please...” She sobs feebly. “Please, look at me.” Fuck. Don’t do it.Shayla brushes her soft fingers along my jaw, and I meet her teary gaze, and my chest constricts agonizingly. She’s so fucking beautiful. “We haven’t seen you in days. Why are you being like this?” She questions, her eyes searching mine.

“I’m not being like anything, Shayla. I’ve been busy with work.” I lie, pulling her hand from my face and taking a step back.

“You’re lying,” Shayla whispers, tears spilling down her face. “You’re avoiding us by using work as an excuse. I get you’re angry with me but at least spend some time with your daughter. She misses you.” Shayla sniffles, dropping her gaze.

“I’m not angry with anyone Shayla.” Another lie. I was angry with myself more than anything. “I’m just giving you some space.”

Shayla frowns, “Space?” She intones hastily. “You're not giving me space, Cole. You’re full-on freezing me out. How are we supposed to work on us if you’re avoiding coming home and seeing me? Or even talking to me? If anything, this is making things worse between us.”

I sigh, biting my lip hard. “You think I don’t know that? I don’t know what else to do!” I shout irritatedly.

“Talk to me!”

“About what?!”

“I don’t know, but anything is better than this, Cole!” She cries, her bottom lip quivering. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, but I’m lost trying to figure you out, Shayla. I don’t know what you want from me. I don’t know what I have to do, so I figured leaving you alone was the best bet.” I admit in defeat with a shrug.

“Well, you’re an idiot.” Shayla sighs, wiping away her tears with her fingers. “Cole, we were friends first and foremost. Please don’t freeze me out like this.”

I scowl at her, “You want to be friends?”

Shayla rubs her head and exhales, “No. I don’t know. I just hate this.” I watch her, and when she looks at me, I shrug, shaking my head. “Come and have dinner with me?” She pleads, taking my hand in hers, and I sigh, closing my eyes.

“I’m not hungry.” I press, and she looks at me all sad and teary-eyed, and I relent. “Fine.” I let her drag me to the dining table. She’s made my favourite pasta dish, and my stomach defies me and groans at the delicious smell of her cooking. I take my jacket off, and we sit at the table rather awkwardly, just looking at one another. I break the eye contact first, pick up the fork, and start to eat. I lift my gaze and catch her watching me. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Shayla smiles sadly and shakes her head. “Nothing, just an old memory is all.”

“What memory?” I inquire, taking a sip of the white wine she poured for us both. Shayla takes a sip of her own wine and bites her bottom lip.

“I just remembered the first time we cooked this dish together at your old apartment. I was teaching you how to cook, and we sat out on the terrace, eating and talking...”

I frown, listening to her as she speaks, and my mind recalls the moment she was talking about. “...I was really drunk, and I just remember thinking God, his eyes are so beautiful, and I really want to stick my tongue in his dimple.”

“I’m intrigued. I need to know how it feels to have your tongue in my dimple. Do it!” I blink and smile a little.

“Get over here, and tongue fuck my dimple,” I mumble and lift my gaze to Shayla, whose smile slowly fades, and she looks at me wide-eyed.

“You remember that?” Shayla whispers, leaning forward a little, and I nod.

“I do. I also remember how desperately I wanted to kiss you, and you let me.” I utter, leaning forward, also getting lost in her beautiful sea-green eyes. “And then you lied and said it would be the last kiss I would get,” I add, letting my gaze flicker down to her lips before I meet her eyes again. “You were a terrible liar then, too.”

Shayla bites her bottom lip a little, “I’m glad you’re starting to remember.” She voices, resting her head in her hand while she watches me curiously.

“I’m not,” I sigh, reaching up and brushing a strand of her hair away from her face. “Because it reminds me of what we’ve lost.” Shayla looks at me despondently.

“If I had known what it would cost us, I would have done everything in my power to stop you from getting on that plane.” She whispers forlornly. “I should never have let you go, or I should have gone with you when you asked me.”

I shake my head and wince when I get sudden flashes of the crash. “I’m thankful you didn’t. We’re all alive and well, and that’s all that matters to me. We have our beautiful daughter, everything else I’m hoping we can get back in time, and if we can’t—then it was never really meant to be.” Shayla frowns a little, closing her eyes.

“Don’t say that.” She whispers despairingly, her eyes watering when she opens them again.

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