Page 38 of Love Me Again

I stare at Shayla, who gathers her papers and slides them into the file again. Her green eyes flicker up to mine, and she blinks. "What are you looking at?" She grumbles, irked, and I blink, surprised by her sudden icy demeanour.

"Nothing. I'm just surprised you're here, that's all. Do you want to go and have that talk?" I question, and she nods curtly before walking out of the conference room. I follow her to my office and close the door. "What did you want to talk about?"

Shayla sighs, looking down at her feet for a long moment, seemingly gathering her thoughts before looking at me again. "Ittook a lot for me to come here and face you again after everything that happened. Your mother came toseeme, and she told me that you're struggling with the accounts for the projects we were working on together." Shayla explains swiftly, and I roll my eyes, shaking my head. Great. Thank you, Mum. "I'm here for the job and the job only--at least until the baby is born, then you're on your own. I don't want anything to do with you. As far as we're concerned,it'sdone, and the less Iseeof you, the better."

I look at her wordlessly for a long moment and sigh when she doesn't even bother looking at me. "Of course."

"Great. What happened with Saris Corp?"

"They walked."

"Why?" She questions with a frown, and I shrug.

"We couldn't reach an agreement on the budget, and they demanded naming rights," I reply, shoving my hands in my pockets and look at her steadily.

"What did you offer them?"

"Ten percent," I answer andwatchas she rolls her eyes and shakes her head slowly.

"Cole, Saris is one of our biggest investors. They won't agree to anything below twenty-five percent. You negotiated this." She states, then sighs. "You no longer remember that. Jesus, okay, I'll call and speak to Peter toseeif we can win their account back."

I nod, "Great." I utter, rubbing the back of my neck rather awkwardly. Our eyes meet, and she glares at me angrily, trying her best to mask the despair in her green eyes as she stares into mine. I sigh heavily. "Shayla, I'm sorry."

"Don't." She hisses frostily. "I don't want tohearit. You have less than twelve weeks togetyour shit together with these projects, then I'm out of here and your life for good." She grimly states before she turns and walks out of my office.

I exhale deeply and close my eyes. Fucking great.Itwas one thing not having her around and hating me, but having her in my face daily spewing venom and glaring daggers at me is just the cherry on top of the cake.

I'm not used to seeing this angry side to her. Iknowshe's still hurting, anditmust have taken everything for her to come back here and face me after I wrecked her.

I remember hearing her sobbing on the phone to Josh two weeks ago.

I was having a shitty day at work, couldn't focus on anything, and my head was hurting again, so I had Josh bring me home. A tiny part of me hoped I would catch Shayla when she was packing, but she wasn'tthere.Itwas just Aimee. I walk into the living room andsawthe photo of Shayla and me that we had above our fireplace was on the floor ripped to bits. I sink to the ground and stare at the torn-up pieces of what used to be our wedding photo. Christ, what have I done to her? She must really despise me to shred our picture.

"Shay, please stop crying. Think about the baby. The doctor said no stress, remember." IhearJosh say. He was on the phone with her. Igetup and move over to where he was in the kitchen. "He wouldn't." Josh sighs, rubbing his forehead as he paces back and forth, "He's just not himself right now. Yesterday, he had a bit of a breakdown at the hospital and admitted he's really struggling with everything. I was furious with him for hurting you, but Igetwhere he's coming from. Cole said he remembers things, but the emotional attachment to those moments isn'tthere. The only thing he remembers clearly is the accident. You should have seen the fear in his eyes when he was describing what happened, Shay." Josh explains, and I sigh, pressing my forehead against the wall.

"He said the last thought he had just before they hit the ground...was you." I wince when Igeta sudden flash of my last moment before we hit the ground. I walk over to Josh, and he looks at me questioningly when I gesture for him to put her on speaker, and he does.

"Believe me when I tell you, he's not doing any of this to hurt you in any way. He just doesn't want to disappoint you anymore, Shayla."

Shayla sniffles on the other end, "Iknow, but that doesn't makeithurt any less, Josh. I have no right to be angry with him becauseit'snot his fault, but I am. I'm hurt, and I'm mad, and I don'tknowwho else to blame. Who do I blame Josh, tell me? Do I blame God? Do I blame myself for not getting on that plane with him? Who do I blame? Tell me!" She sobs, so utterly broken. "Tell me because I'm about to lose my mind." I bite my lip hard. Something deep inside my gut stung at the devastation in her voice.

Josh looks at me and shrugs helplessly as she weeps on the phone. I turn to walk out of the kitchen, and my foot hits the chair on the glass dining table, a sudden surge of anger erupts inside of me, and I furiously lift the table and turnitover in a rage and watchasitshatters. I couldn't comprehend all these foreign feelings inside me, anditfeltlike I was slowly drowning in my own emotions.

I was mad at myself for breaking her, and if Icouldtake back those words I said to her, I would in a heartbeat. I pick up the chair and hurlitat the wall andwatchasithits the floor in pieces. "Cole, stop!" IhearAimee shout as I reach for another chair, but Josh pulls me back and looks at me.

"Cole, hey, stop.It'sokay,it'sokay, bro." He urges, taking hold of my arms and looking at me as I pant furiously, staring at the ground.

"It'snot," I whisper, shaking my head. "I broke her man. I did that to her. She's a wreck because of me! And I still can'tfeelanything! I don'tfeela fucking thing, Josh!" I shout angrily, hitting my head. "Why can't I remember her, huh? Why?!" I growl stormily.

Josh sighs and squeezes my shoulder, "I don'tknowCole, butitwill come, brother. Shayla was the love of your life. In time, I'm confident you will remember her."

"And if I don't? Then what? I've got so many people telling me different things, and I'm so tired of trying to make sense of my feelings. When I look at Shayla, Igeta feeling of deep sorrow, and my gut hurts like never before, but when I look at Sophie, Ifeel..."

Josh frowns, "Youfeelwhat?"

I sigh, rubbing my forehead. "I don'tknow. I don'tknowwhat Ifeel. A big part of me wants to be with Sophie becauseit'seasy, anditmakes sense to me, but something deep down inside..." I place my hand over my heart and sigh. "Something, somewhere, just doesn'tfeelright," I explain, closing my eyes.

"Cole, you need to give yourself time. I think you need to focus on yourself for a while and try to sort through your own feelings before you jump into another relationship, whetherit'sSophie you want or Shayla. You need to fix you." Aimee tells me, and I look over at her. She was right.

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