Page 104 of Love Me Again

After he helps me dress in my clothes, he lifts me into his arms and carries me to the bed again. I look down at him as he sits me down gently and kneels in front of me, his green eyes filled with concern as he gazes up at me. “Alaia needs to be fed, Shay. She’s not feeding on the bottle. She won’t stop crying.” Cole tells me and sighs, rubbing his forehead. “Will you be up to feeding her?”

I look down at him, and my vision blurs with tears, “Of course.” Cole smiles a little and helps me back into bed. He leaves to get Alaia, and I can hear her screaming as soon as the door opens. I get visions of when she was screaming like that when we were abducted. I shake off the thought, and Cole walks back in with her in his arms.

“I know, sweetheart, look, it’s mummy, princess.” He says, kissing her head as he walks over to me. He hands her to me carefully, and I hold her against my chest and close my eyes, biting back the sob that was itching to escape from within me.

“Hi baby, oh, I know you’re hungry,” I whisper and lay her down; I unbutton my shirt and gasp when I see the bite mark on my breast. I hesitate and close my eyes wincing. I force away the images that flood my mind and push my nipple into Alaia’s mouth. She latches on and sucks hungrily, gulping quickly while she blinks up at me, tears rolling down the side of her face. I brush her tears away and watch her as she feeds. Cole sits at the end of the bed, by my feet, and watches me feed her.

A knock sounds at the door, and I pull the sheet over Alaia, covering myself while I feed. Cole opens the door, and a man in a suit walks in with two police officers, both women. “Hi Cole,” They shake hands, and he turns his attention to me. “Hi Shayla, I’m Detective Chief Inspector Scott. I’m the Detective assigned to your case. Is this a good time to ask you a couple of questions?” He asks hesitantly, and Cole interjects, but I nod.

“Sure.” I sigh, and he nods, the door closes, and he takes the seat beside my bed.

“How are you feeling?” He questions, narrowing his chocolate-coloured eyes at me. He looked to be in his late thirties. Clean-shaven, hair cut short and styled neatly, greying at the sides.

“I’ve been better,” I answer and look down at Alaia, who was still sucking at my nipple hungrily. I dread to think about how hungry she was.

“I know what you’ve suffered isn’t easy, and I want you to know that there is help available to you should you need it. Just remember that you are not alone, even though it may feel like you are.” He says, and I nod numbly. “Reliving what you went through is going to be tough, I know, but we need to take your statement now, while it’s still fresh in your mind, so we don’t skip over any important details that might help your case and incarcerate those that did this to you.” He explains, and I nod. “Are you happy for your husband to be in the room for this?” He questions, looking over at Cole, watching me.

“You don’t have to stay,” I tell him, and he shakes his head. “Are you sure?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Cole assures me, and I sigh and look at the detective, who nods.

“Can you start from the moment you were abducted?” He asks, and I nod, licking my lips.

“Uh, I was at my best friend’s wedding, and I went to the bathroom to go and change my baby. After I changed her, I got a little lost and ended up at the back of the building. We walked out of the main building, and that’s when someone grabbed us from behind. My first thought was that it was Cole, but they covered my mouth and nose and dragged us away. They knocked me out, and the next time I woke up, I was tied to a chair, alone in that room.” I explain, and he nods while the women behind him write down what I was saying.

“What happened after you woke up?”

I frown, thinking back to the moment I woke up. “Uh, I started screaming and shouting, asking where Alaia was because she wasn’t in the room, but I remembered having her with me when I was grabbed. That’s when the taller one of the two walked in and told me to be quiet, or he would slit my throat and silence me indefinitely. They were in black masks at that point, so I didn’t see his face. Only his eyes…” I continue to explain what they said to me and what they did with Alaia and me until Sophie walked in.

“So three days later, Miss Turner walked in holding Alaia, and that’s the first time you saw her?” He questions, and I nod.

“Yes, she told me that Alaia would be her baby soon. Then the shorter one took Alaia away, and Sophie came over to me. I asked her what her plan was, and she said she was going to have me killed and thrown on the side of the road to be found while she was consoling my husband.” I explain and look at Cole, who watches me, a deep scowl on his face, his chest rising and falling quickly. “Her whole plan was to get me out of the way while she worms her way back into his life. She confessed to being the one responsible for his plane crash. She tried to have us killed, and when she found out I wasn’t on the plane with him as she had planned…” I glance down at Alaia asleep in my arms. “She told me if she couldn’t have Cole, then no one could,” I sigh, wiping away the tear that rolled down my cheeks. “I told her she was crazy, and she stabbed me in the leg and slapped me a couple of times. She told me she would take Alaia back home to Cole, and before she left, she told the two men that I was theirs to do with what they wanted and to make it hurt. I never saw her again after that.” I tell him.

“What happened after?” I stare at my hand, my vision blurring as I relive the moment they stripped me down. “Take all the time you need, Shayla.”

“After she left, they both took off their masks and kicked the door shut before they walked toward me and untied me from the chair. I fought them as they took my dress off. The taller one picked me up and threw me down on the bed.” I whisper, closing my eyes. “I tried to fight him off. I scratched and kicked, hitting him wherever I could, but he was too strong. He grabbed me by the throat and punched me hard in the face. I was in a daze, but the other one held my arms down while the bigger one took my underwear off.” I explain and choke on a sob. “They raped me.” I cry, shaking my head. “I screamed the whole time, begging them to stop, but they didn’t. They took turns assaulting me, biting, and grabbing me until I was screaming, and they would laugh, enjoying the pain they were inflicting on me. Every time they forced themselves on me, they would whisper that I was worthless, that I was theirs now.” I sob despairingly into my hand.

“That’s enough,” Cole growls, walking over to me, his eyes swimming in tears. He wipes his eyes and points to the door. “You can continue later.” The detective gets up, and they leave the room. Cole tries to touch me, to soothe me, but I push him away, turning my face away from him.

“Don’t…please don’t.” I sob, closing my eyes. “Just take her and go.” Cole takes Alaia from me, and I weep into my hands, my entire body shaking as I’m stuck reliving that moment again and again. Cole sighs and leaves the room. They say it’s over, but it’s not. It’s over for them. It’s not over for me, and it never will be. I still have to relive those painful moments to give my statement, and then I have to stand in court and relive it again with them in the same room. I don’t have the strength for that. Their faces, their voices, and their touch have been burned into my memory forever.

I wanted to forget. I was hoping that if I slammed my head hard enough into the concrete floor, I could lose my memory, but it didn’t work. I’d give anything to lose my memory right now. Just to have a moment of peace.

I spent two days in the hospital, I gave my statement, and they said they would be in touch if they needed anything else or I should call if I remembered something relevant to help the case. I was discharged and allowed to go back home. Cole helps me into the house and lays me down on the sofa. I was tired, drained, too scared to sleep. I force myself to stay awake. Jumping awake every time I doze off because I’d see their faces.

“Shayla, please get some rest, darling. You need to get some sleep. I’ll make you some soup, and you can eat it and get some sleep.” My mother says, walking over to me. She’s been crying since she set her eyes on me at the hospital. I’m sick of all the sympathetic looks I keep getting from everyone. They’re all fussing over me, and I just want to be left alone. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to sleep or eat. I just want to be alone.

I heave a sigh and rub my forehead. “Mum, I’m fine. I’m not hungry.” She sighs, relenting when she detects the bite in my tone. She goes off to check on Alaia. A couple of minutes later, Aimee and Jo come over to check on me.

“Do you need anything?” Aimee asks, and I shake my head silently. “Why don’t I make you a nice tea?” I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose in agitation.

“Tea? Is it a magical tea that will wipe away all the horrible memories in my head? Please, just leave me alone. I just want to be left alone in peace. Please!” I exclaim, irritated and regret it instantly when I see the tears in their eyes. I watch them as they get up and walk away, and I sigh, squeezing my eyes shut. They all mean well, I know that, but I feel like I’m suffocating, and they don’t understand what I’m living through every day. It’s not something a bowl of soup and a cup of tea is going to fix. I want to lock myself away from everything and everyone. The house finally clears a couple of hours later, and I curl up on my bed. Alaia asleep in her crib beside me.

I stare at her while she sleeps. I was lost in thought when I feel the bed dip behind me. I roll over and look at Cole sitting there watching me. I lay on my side, ignoring the ache in my side where I was pressing against my ribs. Cole lays down on his side, facing me. We lay there looking at one another. I hadn’t noticed I was crying until I felt him brush away the tears with his fingers. “Do you want to talk?”

I release a quivering breath and shake my head. “No.”

Cole’s eyes rake over my face, and he reaches over and takes my hand in his and presses my fingers to his lips. “Baby, don’t bottle things up. Talk to me, tell me what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling.”

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