Page 60 of Love Me Again

“What about last night?” I look at Aimee questioningly, and she grins, wagging her brows. “Thin walls Shay.”

I feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment. “You heard that? I thought I was quiet.” Aimee and Jo both giggle.

“Quiet? Whatever he was doing to you in there had you mewling like a porn star.” Aimee sniggers. “And I thought Josh was good at the dirty talk…boy, the things he was saying to you even had me hot and bothered.” I gape at Aimee, and she laughs.

“Jesus, what did have a glass pressed to the wall?” I ask, affronted, and Aimee laughs, shaking her head.

“Fuck no. I think you both got lost in the heat of the moment and forgot other people actually live here too.”

“Shay, ignore this little nympho,” Jo says, throwing a breadstick at Aimee. “This is a really good thing. You guys still share that special connection and sexual attraction for one another despite everything. This is how it all started for you both, remember?”

“Girls, I don’t know. I’m just so confused.” I sigh tiredly.

“He’s stepped into the father role pretty well. He’s great with Alaia.” Jo states and I nod.

“Yeah, he is. I always knew he would be a great Dad.” I agree, averting my gaze when he looks over at me, catching me watching him. Everything seems ten times more complicated between us now, and ignoring the elephant in the room is making things worse.

* * *

Three weeks goby rather quickly, and Alaia is now a month old on her original due date. She’s growing nicely and is now the size she would have been had she been born full term. So essentially, she’s the size of a new-born instead of a month-old baby. It’s all very confusing, and it took a while to wrap my head around it when the midwife explained it to me.

I just finished feeding and changing her when I hear a rather abrupt knock at the front door. Aimee and Jo are both at work, and it was the middle of the afternoon. I lay Alaia in her crib before I walk over and answer the door to a livid Cole.

“What the fuck is this, Shay?” He hisses, holding up an envelope in his hand. I sigh and watch as he storms into the apartment, and I close the door before I lean on it. “You’ve filed for divorce?”

I sigh and drop my gaze, “I told you I want a divorce. Cole, receiving the papers shouldn’t have been that big of a surprise.” I tell him, and he shakes his head, glaring at me.

“I thought we already worked past this divorce nonsense?” Cole questions angrily, and I rake my fingers through my hair. “We were getting on fine. Where the fuck did this come from all of a sudden?”

“We didn’t work past anything, Cole. We just ignored it like we do everything else. This marriage is over; you know this as well as I do. What’s the point in dragging it out?” I argue.

“Our daughter?! Is there a bigger reason than that, Shayla?” Cole states hotly while taking a step toward me.

“She will still be our daughter, whether we’re married or not, Cole. Stop using Alaia as an excuse to hold onto this marriage. The best thing we can do for her is part ways before things get ugly between us.” I explain, looking up at him.

“I’m not divorcing you,” Cole states, staring into my eyes as he rips up the papers. “I love you, Shayla, and I’m not giving up on us. You can keep sending me these papers, but I’ll just keep tearing them up.”

“You love me, Cole? Prove it.” I sigh, gazing up at him. “Look at me like you used to, right now, let me feel your love, make me believe it,” I add pleadingly and search his eyes when he looks at me. My shoulders slump when I see nothing but bewilderment in his gaze. “You can’t love me because you don’t know me,” I utter before I step away from him. “I know you truly want to believe that you love me, Cole, but what I hear from your mouth and what I see in your eyes tell me two completely different things.”

Cole takes hold of my arms and draws me against him, cupping my face in his large hands, he whispers, “How can I know you when you won’t let me get close to you?” I watch him tightly as he presses his forehead to mine. “How am I supposed to show you that I love you if you won’t let me?”

“Cole…” I breathe, closing my eyes when I feel his lips trailing along my jaw.

“Let me love you, baby.” Cole whispers, ghosting his lips over mine, his fingers tangled in my hair. Cole’s lips brush mine apart, and just as our mouths were about to fuse, Alaia’s cry makes us jump apart.

“I better go check on her,” I utter, stepping away from him. Cole nods, watching me as I walk to my bedroom and pick up Alaia. He walks over to us and leans close, dropping a kiss on Alaia’s head, all the while his eyes staring into mine.

“Don’t break up our family, Shay,” Cole whispers pleadingly. “We can make this work. I know we can.”

“We’ve never been a family, Cole,” I reply, looking at him steadily. “I’m tired of being married to a ghost. My husband is gone, and it doesn’t look like he’s ever coming back.”

Cole licks his lips with a shake of his head, “Shayla, you’re not married to a ghost. I’m right here.” He tells me, frustration evident in his tone. “Why are you so reluctant on giving us a chance, babe?”

“Because you hurt me one too many times, Cole. I’ve given you plenty of chances, and in the end, I end up more wrecked and devastated than before. We’ve tried, it’s just not working. It shouldn’t be this hard to be together. I won’t survive another heartbreak. I just won’t.”

“Shayla, I would never—”

“Stop.” I shake my head and sigh. “I’ve heard those words one too many times, and it’s always a damn lie because you do, Cole. One way or another, I end up getting hurt, and I’m done with it.” I explain, looking down at the baby when she starts fussing. “I don’t want to argue with you anymore Cole, we’re going to be in each other’s lives for a long time because of Alaia, so I want to do the right thing by her and have a good friendship with her Dad.”

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