Page 59 of Love Me Again

After putting the baby to sleep in her bassinet, Cole and I ate our food and talked for a while before we fell asleep. This was our routine for a couple of weeks. He’d spend some nights with Alaia and me at my apartment so he could spend some time with her. This wasn’t good for me because my emotions were piling up on top of one another. My head and heart were battling one another for rationality, and I’m wedged in the middle, wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do.

Last night, while we were lying in bed, things got a little hot and heavy, and if I weren’t post-partum, we would have, without a doubt, lost control and had sex.

Since Alaia was born, I’ve been sleeping with a night light on so I could see her while she’s in her crib. After we got into bed, Cole and I lay on our sides, facing one another. God, this man makes my heart run wild with just one look. Cole watches me intently, those brilliant green eyes of his leisurely flitter over my face. His fingers reach over and brush my hair away from my face, gently tucking it behind my ear. My eyes slid shut when his fingers stroke my jaw and brush down the side of my neck, his thumb caressing my pulse point, which causes my heart rate to spike under his touch. When I open my eyes, Cole was nearer, so close, that I’m almost intimately pressed against him. The intoxicating smell of his aftershave surrounds me, and the heat radiating off his body had my stomach twisting with anticipation.

Cole’s fingers trailing over the bare skin of my shoulder raised goosebumps all over my body. “I had a vision the other day, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t tell if it was a dream or a memory of ours.” Cole speaks quietly, his eyes on mine.

I watch him closely, and my mouth suddenly goes bone dry. “What was it?”

Cole licks his lips before he speaks, “We were in my old apartment, in the kitchen. You were sitting on the island eating ice cream, and I…”

“Smeared it all over my body and licked it off.” I finish, and his eyes flash with desire, and he stares at me so raptly I forget to breathe. “It wasn’t a dream. That was a couple of months into us living together.” I explain quietly, and Cole blinks, biting down on his lip.

“I wanted you. I wanted you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. The memory was very brief, but the passion and need, it was so…” Cole swallows hard, staring at my lips.

“Intense,” I whisper, and he nods, silently shifting closer to me till our foreheads were pressed together.

“Did we have sex that night?” I shake my head.

“No, but we would have had the fire alarm not gone off and interrupted us,” I tell him, and he smiles a little.

“So when did we?” He questions, raking his fingertips over my collarbone. A shiver thrums through me when he ghosts his lips over mine.

“Um, at your parent's place after our post-wedding party, your mother insisted on throwing us,” I explain and gasp a little when Cole’s thumb brushes over my hardened nipple over the material of my vest top.

“I love the sounds you make when I touch you,” Cole admits gruffly, pinching my nipple and rolling it between his fingers. “I want to hear my name on those gorgeous lips when I make you come for me.”

I bite my lip hard and sigh when Cole presses an open-mouthed kiss on my neck and sucks teasingly, eliciting a breathy moan from me. “Cole, we can’t..”

“Why can’t we, baby?” Cole groans, nipping at my ear. “Don’t fight me, sweetheart. Let me make you feel good.” I whimper when his fingers slide into my shorts, and he brushes his fingers through my moist cleft. “Oh baby, you’re so fucking wet.” Cole moans, stroking my clit with slow, steady circles. I rock my hips, mewling while he caresses me. “Don’t hold back, come on, baby, show me what my touch does to you.”

“Cole.” I moan, curling my fingers in his hair when he kisses down my throat. “Please..”

“I’d give everything right now to have you riding my tongue, fucking my mouth till you’re damn near weeping with pleasure.” Cole expresses hungrily, his finger stroking me languorously toward my climax. I lose my bearings and arch up when I hit that enchanting peak just before I go over.

“Oh god, yes, Cole. I’m going to…”

“Come, baby, I’ve got you. Come for me. Shayla.” I cry out when Cole presses down on my clit and takes me over. I shudder, and my body pulses with every wave of pleasure as it crashes over me.

“Uhh, Cole…Cole, yess.” I moan, biting down on my lip to stop from screaming and waking everyone. Cole watches me avidly while he continues to caress me through my climax.

“Fuck Shay, I want you.” Cole burrs, brushing his lips over mine. “You’re making me fucking crazy.” Our lips part, and just as his tongue glides over mine Alaia starts to cry, interrupting us. My eyes snap open, and I look up at him breathless while he stares down into my flushed face desirously.

“I should uh…” Cole nods and draws away from me as I slip out of bed, my knees still quivering while I walk over to the crib. Cole falls back on the bed with a sigh and stares up at the ceiling.

* * *

“So,what is the deal with you two now?” Jo asks me quietly as she takes a bite out of her slice of pizza.

I sigh and look over at Cole, talking with Josh. “I don’t know. He keeps saying he wants us to be a family and that he loves me, but I…” I trail off thoughtfully.

“You’re scared he’s only saying that because of the baby,” Aimee finishes for me and I nod, closing my eyes. “Have you mentioned the divorce to him again?”

I shake my head and look at her. “No, he keeps changing the subject whenever I try to bring it up. He’s refusing to give up on us, even though there hasn’t been an us for months now. It’s just not the same anymore.”

Jo frowns, “Does that mean you don’t love him anymore?”

“Of course I do, but my heart still wants the old Cole, and I know he’s not coming back,” I utter miserably while picking at my slice of pizza. “There are these moments where I feel like he’s back to himself again, but then he’ll look at me impassively, and it hits me all over again that he’s never going to look at me the way I’m yearning for him too ever again,” I explain, lifting my gaze to look over at him.

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