Page 52 of Love Me Again

“Cole,for the love of God, man, slow down,” I hear Josh groan as he holds the punching bag while I put my fist through it furiously. “You’re going to hurt yourself.”

I ignore him and continue to plough my fist into the bag as hard as I could. My arms were aching, and my lungs burned, but I didn’t stop. “She’s in a relationship with him,” I mutter sourly, even saying those words left a bad taste in my mouth. “She can’t be in a relationship with him!” I growl, driving my fist into the bag hard. I feel the skin on my knuckles split in the gloves, but it didn’t phase me.

Josh frowns, watching me, wincing every time I hit the bag, and it hit his chest, “Why can’t she be?”

I stop and glare at him, “Because she can’t!” I gripe irately, and Josh sighs with a roll of his eyes.

“Well, it seems she is, bro.” He states calmly. “What did you think was going to happen? You think she was going to wait around for you to get your head out of your arse forever?”

“Of course not! But I didn’t expect this for fucksake.” I pant, holding the bag and pressing my forehead against it while I try and catch my breath.

“Cole, even I’m confused with what you want, mate,” Josh says, stepping away from the bag and placing his hands at his hips. “I’m not even surprised in the slightest that Shayla wants to move on because your indecisiveness is driving me crazy, let alone her. Just let her go, man. She’s been through enough.”

“You think I haven’t tried.” I hiss, glaring at him hard. “I don’t know what the hell this girl has done to me man, because I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t focus on anything when she’s not around. And when she is, I just have this uncontrollable urge to touch her and hold her and fuck—I want to kiss her till I can’t breathe.” I explain and punch the bag hard. “For the life of me, I can’t fucking leave her alone. What the fuck is wrong with me?” I utter, panting. Josh narrows his eyes while he observes me.

“Sounds to me like your arse is right back to where you were when you first met her. You’ve gone and gotten yourself tangled up in her love web all over again, bro.” Josh smirks with a shake of his head. “This is what we’ve been trying to tell you. If you just stuck it out with her, things wouldn’t have gotten this messy,” Josh explains, and I sigh, staring at the floor. “Now it’s too late, Cole. She won’t forgive you. Shayla deserves to be happy. Just let her be now, bro.”

“I can’t! I fucking love her!” I exclaim angrily, punching the bag hard while everyone in the gym stops and looks at us.

“Oh-kay.” Josh frowns, gesturing with his arm so people can get back to their business and not gawk at us. I stood there panting, staring at the bag swinging in front of me.

“I love her,” I whisper and look at Josh, who was watching me, his blue eyes wide. “I’m in love with her.”

“Halle-fucking-lujah!” Josh exclaims, throwing his hands in the air excitedly. “Yes! You do love her! He’s back, ladies and gentlemen!” He hollers at the men and women in the gym who watch us puzzled. Josh grabs my face and kisses my forehead, and then winces and wipes the sweat off his mouth, heaving. “Oh gross, I did not think that through.”

I stood there, speechless. Of course, it all makes sense to me now why I’ve never been able to leave her alone, why she’s always on my mind. The reason I kissed her the other day and why I feel that burn deep in my gut when I see her with that knobhead, Blake. Wow. I’m in love with her— I’ve been in love with her this whole fucking time! It was never Sophie. The love I had in my heart was for Shayla. It was always Shayla. Oh fuck. I bite the strap to my glove and pull the velcro so I can take my gloves off.

I grab Josh by the shirt and look at him, “Call Aimee and find out where she is. I need to talk to her.”

“Whoa, hold it there, bud. First, you need to be a thousand percent sure this is what you want because if you fuck her about again, I will put you in a chokehold and kill you.” Josh threatens gravely, and I roll my eyes and let go of his shirt. “What about all your feelings for Sophie?”

“Fuck Sophie, I was just projecting, man. I had all these feelings inside me, and I thought it was for Sophie because Shayla didn’t exist to me—but it wasn’t. While I was at that dinner with Sophie, I still wasn’t happy, not as happy as I was at home taking care of Shayla. That fucking warmth that spreads inside me when I’m with her, it’s love, it’s her love!”

“Yes!” Josh claps his hand, grinning. “Yeah, it fucking is. Ahh, welcome back bro!” Josh pulls me in, and we hug. “If you’ve remembered that you’re in love with her, your memories will come back again soon too, I just know it.” He says, pulling back and looking at me excitedly.

“Yeah, but she hates me,” I utter, suddenly remembering all the agony I caused her. I feel my stomach drop when I recall the last time I saw her, the pain in her eyes, the tears.

“Cole, it’s Shayla. She could never hate you, not really,” Josh assures me, and I sigh deeply. God, I sincerely hope that’s true.

“I need to talk to her…tonight. It’s late. She should be home now, right?” I ask, and Josh shrugs and takes his phone out.

“Let’s find out.” He sighs and dials Aimee’s number, and waits for her to answer. “Hi baby, are you home?” He questions and looks at me with a frown as he listens to what Aimee says. “Oh, you’re still at work. Is Shay at home?” I watch his facial expressions closely. His frown deepens. “Oh, really? What is that? Huh, she is?”

“Josh!” I hiss, gesturing for him to hurry up. He widens his eyes and presses his finger to his lips, silencing me.

“Okay, call me when you get home. I love you too.” He smiles and frowns when I glare at him before he hangs up and scratches his forehead. “She’s not home. She’s gone to some lamazee class or whatever.”

I frown, “A what class?”

“Lamazee, I don’t know man, Aimee said it a class where pregnant women go to prepare for the birth or some shit,” Josh utters with a shrug, and I sigh. I should be with her doing all these things. God, I’m such an idiot.

“Well, where is it? I told her I wanted to be a part of the baby’s life, and she’s still fighting me on it. She’s so fucking stubborn.” I groan, shoving my hand through my hair in frustration, and Josh shrugs, nodding in agreement.

“It’s why you love her, my man,” Josh chuckles as he picks up his gym bag.

“It’s truly bizarre because usually, you know the reasons why you love someone, right?” I utter, and Josh nods, watching me. “I can’t remember the reasons why I love her. I just know that I do, isn’t that strange?” I explain, looking down at my split knuckles, which were bleeding a little. “If she asks me why I love her, I wouldn’t be able to give her an answer,” I add as we walk out of the gym together.

“It will come, brother, and if it doesn’t, you’ll soon realise the reasons for yourself because she’s a great girl with a lot of qualities any man would fall head over heels for,” Josh tells me, and I nod. I can see that—she was different for sure. Maybe that’s one of the reasons. “Aimee sent me the address to this place Shay is at. You wanna go check it out?”