Page 49 of Love Me Again

Pull away, Shay! Don't get sucked in again. Pull. Away. What are you doing, you stupid girl?!

Thankfully, I start coughing uncontrollably and take a step back from Cole. My head was swimming, half from being so close to him and the other from this stupid virus that has my head thumping like someone was bashing it in with a cleaver.

I avoid looking at Cole and brush past him to walk to the bathroom.

What is wrong with me? Why have I got no might when it comes to this man? One-touch, and I melt, ready and willing to let him do whatever he wants with me.

It's borderline pathetic. And I don't get him either. What the hell is he doing? I'm honestly getting real fed up with asking myself that question and trying to figure him out. He says he doesn't want this baby or me and wants to be with Sophie, then he goes off in a rage when another man shows any interest in me, and now he suddenly wants the baby and is trying to kiss me? Did he wake up from the coma with a split personality, or is he just trying to drive me insane?

After I empty my bladder, I look at myself in the mirror as I wash my hands. I look like absolute shit, pale face, eyes rimmed red, my hair was a mess, and on top of all that, I felt sticky and gross. I have to get out ofhere, andI needed a shower desperately. I walk out of the bathroom with a drawn-out sigh and see Cole lying back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

It's so upsetting that my initial instinct when I see him is to walk over and straddle him like I used to. Cole would smile up at me; those gorgeous green eyes lit up with so much love it would make my heart soar.

"What are you smiling prettily about over there?" I blink, snapping out of my thoughts, and mentally slap myself over the back of the head for staring at him like some lusty loser.

"Uh, nothing." I lie and quickly avert my gaze. Cole chuckles and gets up, walking over to me. I crane my neck to look up at him while he towers over me.

"You're a terrible liar. Anyone ever told you that?" He drawls gruffly, staring deeply into my eyes, just like he used to before. I feel my defences slip away from me again. "You were staring at me and smiling. You were thinking about something to do with us, weren't you?" Cole goads, and I cough, shaking my head.

"It doesn't matter," I utter, trying to move away, but he catches my arm and draws me closer to him.

"It matters to me. Tell me?"

"Why does it matter to you, Cole? It's not like you'll remember, right?" I pull my arm from his hold. Cole licks his lips, and his eyes narrow a little while he continues to watch me intently.

"It matters because it's you. It matters because I want to know what I did before that made you smile at me the way you just did." Cole declares earnestly, and I sigh, closing my eyes.

"You want to know, fine, I was thinking how sad it was that my first instinct when I saw you lying on the bed was to crawl on top of you and have you look up at me lovingly and smile as you used to." I lift my eyes to his and bite back the tears that were burning the back of my eyelids. "You didn't have to doa lotto make me smile, Cole. Just having you look at me was enough," I add, not bothering to wait for a reaction before I brush past him and scan the room for my clothes.

"What are you doing, Shayla?" Cole asks, watching me pick up my shirt and skirt.

"I'm getting dressed. I can't go home like this, can I?" I utter, looking for my underwear. I still can't believe he saw me naked while I was in that state.

"You're not going anywhere, not until you're better." I look over at him with a frown.

"I feel much better. I can rest and recover at home, in my own bed." I hear Cole sigh before he moves over to me.

"Shayla, you are home, and this is your bed." He states, turning me to face him. I groan and rub my head a little when I feel it ache suddenly.

"No, it's not." I insist. "It was our home, and that was our bed, but it's not anymore, just like there is no us anymore. I don't belong in this house, and I don't belong in your life, Cole." I explain as we stare at each other. "Thank you for taking care of me, but this doesn't change anything between us."

Cole's jaw clenches as he looks into my eyes, "What about our baby?"

I exhale slowly and pinch the bridge of my nose. "Cole, you made your choice. You chose a life without us. You can't just up and change your mind like you didn't say those things to me.Youcan't just fix what you've broken inside of me with a simple apology--that's not how it works!"

Cole takes hold of my shoulders and draws me closer to him while his eyes search mine. "Then tell me what I have to do, Shayla? I want to be a part of my daughter's life. You can't keep my own child from me. I know what I said, and I regret it deeply, believe me, but I want this baby, I want our baby girl."

I shrug out of his hold, " Stop. It's too late Cole, the damage is done, and it's not even about you. I would rather die than let Sophie anywhere near my baby." Cole frowns, watching me as I back away from him.

"What are you saying? The only way I get to have my own daughter in my life is if I stop seeing Sophie?" I shake my head and brush my fingers agitatedly through my hair.

"She's vile and toxic, and I don't want my baby around her, especially not after what she said to me the other day." Cole's frown deepens, and he takes a step toward me.

"What day? What did she say?" He inquires, and I bite my lip and avert my gaze to look at anything but him. I can feel the rage burning deep in my gut, and I'm struggling to keep it buried.

"It doesn't matter--"

"Will you stop fucking saying that!" Cole shouts hotly. "What did she say to you?"

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