Page 106 of Love Me Again

As I laythere watching Shayla, she’s gazing at me inquisitively, her eyes searching my face. “Cole, what have you done?” She queries, and I kiss her palm gently before I shake my head.

“I told you, they’re going to pay for everything they did to you,” I explain, and her brows knit tightly. “Sophie is facing fifteen years, and those fuckers are going down for twenty years at least. Detective Scott said they’ve got a shit ton of offences they’re wanted for. They’ll be lucky if they don’t get life.” Shayla’s eyes water as she looks at me. “They’re going to suffer every single day for years.”

“What does that even mean?” Shayla queries while I brush my fingers along her jaw, and she flinches, shrinking away from my touch.

“You don’t need to worry about the specifics, baby. Just know that they will endure ten times the pain they inflicted on you. You’re not the only one that’s got that rage burning inside of you. I punched that fucker so hard I dislocated his jaw, but that knowing smirk he gave me makes my blood boil every time I replay it in my mind.” I express, my jaw twitching with agitation. Shayla closes her eyes and sighs.

“I see that dark smirk and hear their grunting and laughs in my head constantly. I don’t know how I’ll ever forget it.” She whispers, her voice quivering with trepidation.

“In time, you will. It’s all very fresh in your mind right now.” I reassure her, brushing my fingers over her knuckles. “I know you don’t want to, but please try and get some sleep, Sweetheart. You’re going to make yourself sick if you keep forcing yourself to stay awake.”

I see her eyes go wide in alarm, and she shakes her head quickly, her chest rising and falling rapidly as her panic grows. “No, no, I can’t, I can’t.” She whimpers, terrified, and I lean up and look down at her.

“Okay, shh, it’s okay, it’s okay, baby. You don’t have to sleep, it’s all right. I’m sorry.” I try to soothe her, but she covers her face with her hands, sobbing quietly. I can’t stand to see her like this. It’s killing me. I feel so helpless; I don’t know what to do to help her through any of this. “Let me hold you, baby,” I whisper, brushing my fingers through her hair. I pry her hands away from her face, careful not to touch the wounds on her wrists. Shayla looks up at me apprehensively. “It’s okay,” I assure her, and she hesitates, almost as if she’s trying to convince herself that she can trust me not to hurt her. I lay back and hold my arm out, and she slowly scoots closer and lays her head against my chest. I don’t pull her. I just let her nestle herself against me until she relaxes before I wrap my arm around her. Her entire body was trembling against mine. I turn my head and press my lips to her forehead. “Your safe, baby. I will never let anyone hurt you ever again.” I promise her, and she sighs.

We lay there together in silence. I run my hand up and down her back gently in an attempt to soothe her. I can feel her heart pounding against my chest, and I look down at her and see she’s finally dozed off. I watch her closely, keeping still, so I don’t jolt her or frighten her while she’s asleep. Her brows are fused tightly, and she has tears rolling down the side of her face, soaking my t-shirt. I want to wake her; she looks scared, but she needs to sleep, or she’ll make herself ill. My heart pains to watch her in this state. She’s the shell of the strong woman I love at the moment, but I know she will bounce back from this. I fell in love with her strength, and I know that girl is still in there. As broken as she is at the moment, she’s going to be okay. She has to be.

I fight the sleep that was begging to take me. I haven’t slept much the past week, and having Shayla safe in my arms, I think my mind and body are finally ready to shut off. That was until I feel Shayla jerk in my arms, and she let out a shrill scream that almost made my heart stop. I shake her as she fights in my hold, seemingly trapped in her nightmare and reality of everything she’s suffered. She kept screaming the words ‘no’ and ‘stop’ and ‘please’ over and over again. “Shayla, hey, it’s okay.” I try to shake her awake, but she fights in my hold, trying to hit me. Her nails catch my face just under my eye, but I shake it off and focus on waking her up. “Baby, baby, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s just a dream, baby, it’s just a dream,” I tell her, and she whimpers, opening her eyes, and looks at me, panting. “It’s me, sweetheart. You’re okay…you’re safe.” I whisper, brushing fingers through her sweat-damp hair. Shayla starts to sob, rocking back and forth. I kiss her temple, unsure of what else I can do to help her. “What can I do, sweetheart. Tell me what I can do to help you.” I sigh, stroking her hair while she cries.

“Nothing.” She sniffles, shaking her head. “I have to live with it for the rest of my life.” She states and turns her bloodshot eyes to look at me. Shayla frowns, and her lips quiver when she notices the scratches on my face. “Oh, God, I hurt you.” She cries, reaching out to touch my face. “I’m so sorry.”

“Shh, baby, it’s okay. It’s nothing; I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” I say, kissing her fingers while she looks at me distraughtly. “Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, and she sighs, closing her eyes.

“I was just reliving the moment they…” She winces and shakes her head. “I’m okay. I’ll get something for your face. It’s bleeding.” She whispers, trying to sit up, but I stop her.

“Shayla, come here.” I wrap my arms around her and kiss her forehead. “I think I know how I can help you,” I mumble against her temple, and she frowns.

“How?”

“As soon as your ribs are better, we’re doing some boxing. It always helped me when I’m angry or hurt. I think you need to focus all that anger inside if you on something and let it out.” I explain, and she lifts her head and looks at me.

“Can we start tomorrow?”

“No, baby, you’ll hurt yourself. You’re still injured, and your body is too weak to take on exercise right now.” I look down into her eyes and smile, stroking her jaw. “Soon, okay?” I promise her, and I see the disappointment shine in her eyes, but she nods. I wasn’t going to risk her getting hurt. “Josh and I will teach you.” She silently nods, and we lay down again. She fell into a restless sleep, jerking and twitching, waking up every hour in a cold sweat.

* * *

It wenton like this for weeks, and I could see her sinking deeper and deeper into depression and reclusion. She shut off from everyone around her. Even me. She’s angry and resentful, and every day that passes, I feel like I’m losing her.

“What are you thinking, man?” I turn and look at Josh while I pace in the kitchen.

“We need to pull her out of this, Josh. I can’t stand to see her like this anymore. She won’t talk to anyone. Not the girls, not her mother, not me. She won’t even open up to the therapist. I tried to take her to one of those group therapy meetings, where she could sit and be with people who have suffered as she has, but she got up and walked out after ten minutes. That’s not Shayla up there, and I’m scared if I leave her alone for a moment, she’s going to do something stupid or hurt herself.” I tell him frenetically, and he watches me sadly.

“The girls are here. They can watch Alaia. Let’s take her to the gym, as you said before. This could be the only way to get that anger out of her.” Josh suggests, and I run my fingers through my hair and nod.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. She’s healed now; let’s do it. At this point, we’ve got nothing to lose.” Josh nods, and I skip up the stairs to the bedroom where Shayla was. I knock, announcing myself before I open the door and see Shayla lying on the bed with Alaia. She looks up at me when I walk over to her, her eyes cold and distant as she watches me.

I keep my eyes on hers as I sit on the bed. “You up for a little outing?” I ask, reaching over and rubbing Alaia’s stomach, and she giggles.

“Outing?” Shayla inquires, and I nod slowly. “Yes, remember a couple of weeks ago I told you I wanted to take you to do some boxing? Well, you’re healed now, so Josh and I are taking you to the boxing club. The girls will watch Alaia for an hour or so.” Shayla sits up, and I can see she’s about to refuse. “Please, baby. For me?”

Shayla looks down at Alaia and bites her lip, mulling it over before she nods. “Okay.” She agrees. I offer a little smile, and she slips off the bed to change. I pick up Alaia and take her downstairs to the girls who were excited to see her.

“Hi, baby girl. Oh my god, you’re so big, and I only saw you a week ago.” Aimee chirps excitedly, kissing her forehead.

“When are you going to cook me one of those?” Josh asks, resting his chin on Aimee’s shoulder, who giggles and slaps his head playfully.

“When you take me on honeymoon and put one in me,” Aimee replies, and Josh narrows his eyes at her.

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