Page 109 of Cuffed By Love

Mira catches the pillow and smirks while she places it behind her head. “I went nine whole years without seeing you; I think I’ll be all right.”

I gasp and place my hand over my heart, feigning hurt. “You’re a shitty liar, Tinks.” I grin when she rolls her eyes. “I missed you like crazy, and you missed me, too. You told me so the other day. You’ve missed having me around, our crazy banter. So you can sit there and deny it all you want, but the truth is written all over your face.”

Mira leans forward, her eyes narrowed. “Maybe I’m a better liar than you think?” She counters, her eyes brazen. I shake my head and lean forward also, keeping my eyes on hers.

“Well, I call bullshit.” I assert roguishly and lick my lips.

“Mm, well, I guess you’ll never know.” She whispers, dragging her finger along my jaw. It twitches and tightens under her touch. I grab hold of her hand before she pulls it away and place it on my face again.

“You seem to keep forgetting Mira that I know you,” Mira regards me carefully. I feel her fingers tremble against my cheek. “One year, ten years or even a hundred years can go by, and I will still know you better than anyone,” I affirm, kissing her thumb when it touches my lips.

“You know the old me, the one you left behind, but I’m not that girl anymore, Dev,” Mira states austerely.

“No?” I intone, searching her eyes. “Then why do I see her looking back at me right now?”

Mira sighs. “Devin, I know what you’re thinking. Now you’ve broken up with Megan; you’re hoping something will happen between us.” She licks her lips before she continues. “But it can’t.” Well, fuck.

I draw my head back a little and regard her incredulously. “Why can’t it?”

“Because it just can’t.”

I scowl and pull away, perplexed. “I’m going to need something better than that, Mira?”

Mira stands and starts pacing back and forth. “Look, there’s no denying the chemistry and attraction between us. It’s been there from the very beginning, but if we let ourselves go there, even once, it’s going to complicate everything. Not only our friendship but our professional relationship too.”

I watch her pacing back and forth with a frown and stand up. “Mira, come here.” I curl my fingers around her forearms and pull her close to me. “First of all, stop hiding behind our friendship because we have violated those boundaries ten times over since the moment I came back. I think it’s blaringly obvious that we can’t be just friends, and I don’t want us to be.” I admit, frankly. “As far as work goes, we’ll figure it out.”

Mira shakes her head, chewing gingerly on her lip while she looks up at me uncertainly. “Devin, I’ve already had this conversation with Levi. I—”

“Whoa, hey,” I interject. “Don’t compare me to Levi. I don’t know what was going on between the two of you, and I don’t care to know. I’m talking about us, Mira, you and me.”

“Us? What us Devin? There never really was an us, was there?” She questions cagily. “Say we give in, and we sleep together and start something. You’re still leaving in ten months, aren’t you?” When I only stare at her, thwarted, her shoulders slump. “I don’t want to start something that has an imminent expiration date. I can’t risk the possibility of allowing myself to feel something for you, only to have to give you up, anyway. It’s not fair on either of us.” I’ve been so wrapped up in the idea of us that I completely neglected the reality that I would leave again. “You didn’t stop to consider that little detail, did you?”

I cup her face in my hands and gaze deeply into her eyes. “Mira, we’ll figure it out, babe.”

“No, we won’t.” She interjects glumly. “We’ll just be setting ourselves up to fail.”

I exhale. My heart that was beating erratically with the excitement of us, is now slowly plummeting into the pit of hopelessness. I look over her beautiful face, and that deep gaping hole inside aches profoundly. “But I want you.”

Mira’s eyes close, and her bottom lip quivers with repressed emotion. Just when I thought I could have her, she’s slipping through my fingers yet again.

Goddamn it, why must it always be so fucking difficult? I want her; she wants me. Why is that not enough?

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