Page 9 of Hook, Line, Infinity, Part 3

Rein

I HATE U, I LOVE U - OLIVIA O’BRIEN, GARRETT NASH

“You did what?!”

“For the love of God shh, you’re going to wake Abuela up.” I urge in a hushed whisper while I manically continue to pace in my old bedroom, my Aunt Dani sitting on the bed watching me with her large chocolate brown eyes almost hanging out of her head. “Oh, sweet Jesus, she’s going to kill me isn’t she.” I groan, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Kill you? You should be so lucky. She’s either going to mount you to the wall by your ears or worse, marry you off to one of the withering old coots from her church group.”

I stop pacing and look at her horrified, “What?”

Aunt Dani shrugs and holds her hands up, “Ay, don’t look at me like that bebesita. You know what a stickler Abuela is when it comes to her honour. Tio Ignacio, you know the one from the butchers on the high street, he was about to be your Papi had your mama—God bless her soul—not put up such a fight and threatened to run away for good if your Abuela didn’t stop forcing the marriage.” My aunt explains with a shake of her head. “It was like World War Three up in here for months. Abuela kept saying that she’s tainted and unweddable.”

I sink down on the bed beside my aunt and bury my head in my hands with a whimper. “Oh my God, she’s never going to forgive me.” I sob.

“Mi corazon, don’t worry. Abuela will be angry and disappointed at first, but she will eventually simmer down and forgive you. How could she not, you’re her el más Preciado.”

“I’m not going to be so precious when she finds out what I’ve done. She already believes our family is cursed when it comes to love and what do I do? Prove her right. Maybe the Valdez women really are cursed.” I utter defeated when my aunt wraps her arm around me and pulls me into her embrace.

“Oh no, don’t you start with that. We’re not cursed, we just have bad taste in men, that’s all.” She expresses, brushing her slender fingers through my hair. “Now, tell me more about this handsome Professor of yours.”

I heave a sigh laying my head in her lap, and she continues to comb her fingers through my hair comfortingly… just like my mother used to when I was upset or unwell.

“I can’t.” I answer. My voice cracks under the magnitude of emotion that yet again consumes me with the very thought of him. “It hurts like hell to talk or even think about him.”

Aunt Dani heaves a woeful sigh, “I know it does, mi amor, but it does help to talk about it. Keeping it all bottled up inside isn’t the answer, trust me. I’ve had my share of heartbreaks in my lifetime and witnessed more than I would have liked, so that makes me somewhat of an expert on the subject.”

I sit up and stare down at the wooden floor of my bedroom, “When does it get better?”

She winces, her warm chestnut-coloured eyes brimming with unshed tears while she brushes away the incessant stream of my own, “Oh sweetheart, it will take time, but I promise you one day you’ll wake up and find that heavy ache in your chest has ebbed away.” She assures me benevolently.

“I’m just so sick of missing him,” I admit sullenly. “How could I have been so wrong about him? I was so sure he was different from the rest. Especially the way he came across so genuine and caring toward me. I should have known it was too good to be true. Why did I ever believe a guy like him could go for someone like me, Tia?”

“Hey, don’t you dare go shitting all over yourself like that. You’re beautiful just the way you are, mi amor. What have I and your mother always said to you growing up?”

When I say nothing, she takes hold of my chin and forces me to face her. “No one has the power to make us feel inferior unless we permit them to,” I say and she nods.

“Exactly, your life will never be yours if you’re constantly troubling yourself about what others think. Their opinion doesn’t matter, what matters is how you see yourself and how you feel inside.” She asserts, placing her hand over her chest.

“I know, and the way Talon looked at me I actually believed it. I’ve never felt as beautiful and wanted as I did when I was with him. He made me feel desirable and now...” I tug my face free of her hold and wordlessly shake my head.

My aunt frowns watching me stand from the bed, “Rein, sweetheart, you were always desirable and gorgeous, he only helped you see the beauty within you and embrace it, that’s all.”

I spin and face her, agitation rapidly swarming my body. “Well clearly it was all bullshit, wasn’t it? You should see what his fiancée looked like Tía, she was absolutely stunning with beautiful golden blonde hair, emerald green eyes, and the body of a runway model. And then there’s me, with my frumpy—”

“Hey, no, you stop it.” My aunt demands hotly, holding her hand up and shaking her head at me with eyes full of disappointment. “This Professor of yours clearly saw something in you. Trust me, mi amor, there is no man on this earth that will sleep with a woman he’s not attracted too.”

I snort bitterly, “If he’s desperate enough he will. I was the last connection he had to the love of his life. That’s why he was so fiercely protective of me because I’m carrying her heart, the one thing he had left to hold onto. It was never about me. It was about Taylor, and it always will be.” I sob. “I’m just the mug that fell for his bullshit.”

My aunt stands and walks over to me, she wraps her arms around me and pulls me into an embrace, “Rein, you’re not a mug. I know you’re angry and hurting right now and rightfully so, but can you really not see the hand that fate has played in all of this? You lost your mother and almost died yourself in a car accident and then days later a man lost his pregnant fiancée in a car accident and her heart was a match when your body rejected your own mother’s heart and saved your life. Then years later you somehow wind up at a college he’s teaching at, and you end up falling in love with him and get pregnant. He didn’t come looking for you, your heart led you to him, sweetheart. Es un milagro.”

With a frown I pull my head back and look at her quizzically, “A miracle? There’s no such thing as miracles, Tía. This was nothing more than a series of coincidences, likely to teach me a valuable lesson that I was right all along, men are cunning and deceitful bastards.” I declare fervently.

“Rein—”

“No Tía, I was already painfully aware of my hapless fate so what did I expect to happen, really? That we would live happily ever after? There’s a reason they don’t show us fools what happens after they ride off into the sunset in the movies, because this…” I gesture to my run down and beaten self, “…is what comes after that all-consuming love bubble you’re in explodes and the stupid endorphins cease to exist.” I unzip my suitcase and angrily throw the clothes I spent ages packing away neatly in a chaotic pile on my bed. “Love doesn’t exist.” I sniffle while furiously rummaging through my clothes with no idea what I’m even looking for.

I’m desperately trying with every fibre in my body to keep it together but I’m unravelling quicker than I could catch myself. The harder I fight it the more my emotions are getting the better of me. Frustrated I toss the clothes back on the bed and sink to the floor with a sob.

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