Page 6 of Hook, Line, Infinity, Part 3

Rein

ONLY LOVE CAN HURT LIKE THIS - PALOMA FAITH

“Rei Rei,are you okay? You’ve been in there a long time?”

I stand numbly staring down at the little pink plus signs on the line of pregnancy tests laid out on the counter by the sink in front of me.

My vision blurs and I choke on the sob that comes tearing through me. My legs give out and I sink to the floor. “Rein, I’m coming in.”

The door to the bathroom opens and Paris walks in, her hazel eyes full of concern as she hurries to my side, sitting on the floor beside me. “Rein?”

I lift my gaze to look at her, unable to form any words, only whimpers of despair while she wipes away my tears. That’s the beauty of our friendship, I didn’t need to say anything. Paris already knew I was pregnant, the distraught state of me only confirms her suspicions. “Oh babe, come here.” Paris wraps her arms around me, and I pathetically cry into her chest.

What am I going to do? I’m only twenty-one, I can’t be pregnant. I was on the damn pill; how did this happen when we were being so careful?

“What am I going to do, P?” I cry, taking the tissues Paris holds out to me and wiping away my tears. “Oh my God, I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t be pregnant, I can’t be! Could the tests be wrong?”

Paris picks up the box and reads the back, she shakes her head, “Once maybe, but four positive tests? It’s highly unlikely plus you have all the symptoms. It says here a false negative may be possible, but a false positive is unlikely. How did this happen, weren’t you on the pill?”

I bury my head in my hands, “I was, I took every damn pill. I don’t understand.”

“Well, contraceptives are only ninety-eight percent effective.” Paris enlightens me ruefully, setting the empty pregnancy test box on the side.

“Of course, I would be within the two percent that winds up getting knocked up.” I utter bitterly and rest my head back against the glass screen on the shower.

“Either you’re super fertile or Professor Saxton’s boys are absurdly perdurable.” I sigh and shake my head mutely. “Look, let’s not panic just yet. We’ll get you a doctor’s appointment and they can test you properly and then we can think about your options, okay?” I nod chewing on my bottom lip.

I don’t need a test; I already know I’m pregnant. Of course I am, as if my shoddy luck would have it any other way. Like Paris stated before I took the test, I’ve got all the signs, the sickness, the tender breasts, I’m overly emotional… though that could just be result of having my heart as well as my life torn to shreds.

What am I going to tell my family? My Grammy? How am I going to look her in the eyes and tell her that not only did I ruin my future, but I’m carrying the child of the man who wrecked my life.

Just like my mother.

I swore to her that she would never have to worry about me, that I would be different, I would be better and here I am in the exact same position she was in when she was my age—impregnated and heartbroken with an unpromising and bleak future.

If I had an ounce of courage left in me and I wasn’t so dignified, I would run away as far as possible to a place no one would ever find me.

However, I don’t, and I most certainly don’t deem myself a coward, so I’ll begrudgingly face the pretty kettle of fish that is my life and somehow figure out what I’m supposed to do next, that is of course if my Grammy doesn’t slaughter me first and feed me to those creepy pigeons that camp out outside our back garden.

Two days later Paris gets me an appointment with an OBGYN at one of her fancy private hospitals. “I’m sat on the chair, my leg relentlessly shaking up and down while I stare at the poster of the newborn baby watching me. “Hey,” I tear my eyes away from the poster to look down at Paris’ hand resting on my shaking leg. “It’s going to be okay, babe.”

My eyes water and I quickly blink them away and cover her hand with mine. “Thank you for being here with me, P.” I express gratefully. She smiles warmly and laces her fingers with mine.

“Where else am I going to be, sugar tits.” A shaky breath escapes me. “I know you’re scared but you’ve got this, one step at a time, yeah?”

I sigh and close my eyes. My stomach is twisted into what feels like a million knots and my heart rate spikes cutting off my air supply. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared in my life P and I’ve been through some shit.”

“Rein…”

I stand up and start pacing back and forth in the doctor’s office. I can’t bloody breathe and being surrounded by babies and foetus’ and protruding stomachs isn’t helping. “I can’t do this, P. I can’t have a baby. What the hell do I know about being a mother? I can’t even keep my life from falling apart how am I supposed to be responsible for a baby?”

Paris stands up and walks over to me, stopping me mid-pace, she takes my trembling hands into hers. “Rein, hey, look at me,” I lift my gaze to her meltingly soft hazel ones, “Just take a deep breath and calm down. Let the doctor examine you and she’ll tell you what your options are, and you can decide what you want to do.”

I nod meekly and allow her to pull me to the chair again, “Okay.” My arse barely touches the seat before the door opens and the doctor walks in. The moment I see her my panic from before intensifies and I gape at her like a deer caught in head lights. Eyes wide and my mouth ajar. She closes the door and smiles brightly flashing her annoyingly perfect teeth at us.

“Hi, I’m Dr Richards,” her bright blue eyes zero in on me and I shrink back. “You must be Rein Valdez.”

When I say nothing and sit there like a mute Paris clears her throat and speaks up for me. “Yes, she is. She’s also overwhelmed so you’ll have to excuse her, Doctor.”

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