Page 5 of Hook, Line, Infinity, Part 3

Deep down I’ve always known it. Rein deserved better than the likes of me and as much as it kills me to admit it, I sincerely hope she finds that special someone that will give her all the happiness she’s been missing most of her life.

Even if that someone isn’t me.

“Was it worth it?” She whispered faintly. “I hope you finally managed to get the closure you were so desperate for, Talon.”

Those were her very last words to me when she walked out of the school where I had been waiting so I could talk to her. Her words resound in my mind, the defeated tone of her voice cut right through my soul and will forever be embedded in my brain.

I stood outside the school waiting and going over everything I needed to say to her. And then Rein walked out with Paris and every single word fell right out of my head, leaving my brain vacant and unable to focus on anything but the misery she held in her eyes.

I opened my mouth to apologise. I was ready and willing to hit my knees and plead with her to hear me out, but the way she looked me dead in the eyes and uttered those words floored me. I couldn’t say a damn thing in my defence… even if it is the farthest from the truth.

I absolutely did not use Rein to get closure. The thought didn’t even cross my mind, not for a second. The attraction I felt toward her developed a little more each time I saw her. That connection we share has been there from the very first moment I laid my eyes on her.

And just like that, I let her slip through my fingers.

* * *

“You’re going to do what?”I release a slow breath and look over at JT staring at me, his warm brown eyes practically bulging out of his head.

“I need to get away for a while to clear my head.”

“That’s a hell of a trek to make to clear your head, dude.” He states sardonically placing his hands on the kitchen counter after he sets aside the bowl of Cheerios he’d been wolfing down.

“What’s keeping me in Chicago? The only thing keeping me here was my career and since that’s now burned to cinders, I’ve got no reason to stick around.”

JT frowns, “Well shit, thanks a lot bro.” He responds stiffly. “I can see our decade long friendship clearly meant a great deal to you.”

I sigh heavily and close my eyes, raking my fingers through my dishevelled hair while my entire body thrums with frustration. “JT, you’re not just my friend, you’re my brother. You know that you mean a lot to me, but Christ mate, I can’t be here. This city is filled with memories of not only Rein, but Taylor too and I honestly feel like I’m fucking drowning from the inside out.”

“Do you honestly think running away to Australia will solve your problems?”

I look up at him and shake my head meekly. “What do you suggest I do? I can no longer teach in this country. No one will employ me. I’m fully aware that running away won’t fix everything, however I desperately need to hit that reset button and start anew because I refuse to fall back into that dark place I was in after Tay died and I can feel myself heading in that direction.” I explain truthfully.

JT winces and rubs the back of his neck, “For my own selfish reasons I wish you would stay, but I get it bro, you do what you must do. I’ve got your back. Perhaps I’ll join you and we can scout out the talent in Oz. Get you some broken-heart rehabilitation between the slender thighs of a beautiful surfer babe.”

“Absolutely not,” I refute, sitting upright. “No more relationships. I’m done. I’ve fallen in love twice now and both times I somehow managed to wreck their lives in one way or another. It’s patently clear that I’m destined to spend the rest of my life miserable and alone.”

JT sighs and scratches his jaw, regarding me seriously for a moment. “Maybe you have been unlucky in love, but at least you found two great girls to fall in love with. Most people search their whole lives to find that one great love, but you got to experience that twice, granted they were in some bizarre way connected, which is a head fuck in itself if I’m being completely honest...”

“Mate, I’m begging you get to the point.”

JT stares at me po-faced while I scowl at him irritably. “My point, if you would be patient and let me get to it, you grumpy ass...” he declares stiffly, throwing a glare in my direction. “…is that love isn’t something that you find, it’s something that finds you—unexpectedly and in the unlikeliest of places just like it did with Rein. You once sat there and said the same thing after you lost Taylor. I’ll never love again, and you did, and you will again, bro. You just need to chalk this mistake—”

I roll my eyes in agitation and slide off the stool, “Hey! I’ve made many mistakes in my life, but Rein is absolutely not one of them. I only have one regret regarding our relationship and it’s not manning up and being honest with her from the get-go. I destroyed her future, and believe me that girl was destined for great things, she had a bright future ahead of her and because of me and my cowardice she lost it all. This whole mess is on me, not her. Rein is the innocent one in all of this, and she deserved better.” I explain stormily. “She deserved far better than me.”

“T, come on, you can’t just give up—” JT attempts to sway me but it goes in one ear and out the other.

“It’s done. As much as I’m burning inside to jump on the first flight to London and find her, I’m going to do what I should have done all those months ago and let her be. If she wanted to talk or work things out, she wouldn’t have left. I’m not going to hurt her anymore; she’s been through enough.” I slap my laptop shut and walk out of the kitchen toward my bedroom.

For the first time in my life, I don’t have a plan, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with myself and that scares the bejesus out of me.

I spend four months back home in Australia trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do or how I’m going to get my life back on track. The first couple of weeks I manage to keep myself busy, reuniting with old friends, pushing myself to drink more each night than I would have liked so I don’t think about her. I went fishing for hours, surfed even though the water was freezing. Every morning I wake up and I tell myself this is the day that I will finally get over her, I will not think about her. I’m not going to miss her, but then I remember how good it felt being with her and the turmoil starts all over again. It’s fucking torture, I’m trapped in my own version of hell with no way out.

I find myself on her Instagram typing out the same three words, I miss you and stare at it for a long while then delete it before I send it.

My mind and heart are at a continual war with one another. My head is telling me to leave her alone, focus on myself and rebuild my life but my heart is screaming at me to reach out to her, or fuck, even jump on a plane to London to find her.

It seems fate made the decision for me because a few weeks later I got an email from the University of Creative Art in London offering me a job as a Professor of Fine Arts.

I’ve never been one to buy into the whole destiny malarky, but this was a call of fate I wasn’t about to ignore.

My mother always used to tell me, maybe it will take a year, a month or even a day but what’s meant to be yours will always find a way.

I believe now more than ever that Rein Valdez is and always was my fate.

What if it was never Taylor; perhaps she was just a juncture leading me to Rein?

---