Page 38 of Hook, Line, Infinity, Part 3

Talon

YOU - SWITCHFOOT

What if these feelings I have for you were never really mine?

Those words coming from her hit me like a freight train, so much so that the force of it knocked me back.

My eyes are on hers, searching frantically for a sign of her joshing me when all I see is upheaval and deep sorrow staring back at me. She wasn’t joking, she’s verily doubting her love for me.

“You can’t be serious,” I reply and take a large step toward her.

“Talon, I’ve not been feeling nor acting like myself since the surgery.” Rein states apologetically. “This isn’t who I was before the accident, near enough everything I’ve done since is completely out of character for me. Leaving my family behind and flying halfway across the world, having an affair with my professor, getting kicked out of school, having sex in public, going out partying, drinking, I was never audacious enough to do things like that. My mother and aunt sure, but I was a homebody, the boring one, the good girl of the family. I was happy being alone, reading or painting in my room. I hated socialising, I barely even had friends.”

I shake my head and take hold of her arms, drawing her to me. “Rein, listen to me, those changes in your personality have nothing to do with Taylor’s heart. You suffered a trauma and almost died; you lost your mother. It’s completely normal for you to go off the rails and feel a little rebellious. Everyone deals with their trauma differently and as you get older you start to discover yourself. That’s all this is. None of us remain the same person we were when we were sixteen, we grow and as we do we evolve. I’m certainly not the same person I was when I was a sixteen, if I were I assure you we wouldn’t be standing here having this conversation.” I tell her earnestly.

Rein closes her eyes and exhales slowly as she pulls away from me and starts to pace back and forth. “God, Talon, it wasn’t even that long ago that I found the idea of love comical. And I’m aware that it all sounds so inane, because the heart is just an organ, I know that, but when you look back to how we met and everything else that transpired between us, is it any wonder that I’m questioning my own feelings? I have your dead fiancée’s heart beating inside of me. I read article after article and they all say the same thing, there is a chance, a small one, but it’s still a possibility because the heart does have a memory and the way it beats when I’m around you…” Rein expresses hysterically. I catch her arm as she paces past me and tug her to me again.

“Snowflake, hey, look at me,” Rein sighs and lifts her gorgeous gaze to meet mine. I lift my hand to stroke her cheek affectionately. “It doesn’t matter whose heart is beating inside of you. You are not Taylor, there isn’t a speck of her in you, I promise you. You’re Rein Valdez, the fiercest, kindest, most compassionate person I have ever met. It wasn’t your heart that compelled me, it was your eyes, that everlasting fire you’ve got burning inside you that continues to consume me. Everything I knew about love went out the window the moment I laid my eyes on you. My entire world as I knew it came undone, Snowflake. No one, not even Taylor held that kind of power over me.” I declare, gazing devotedly into her eyes, my thumbs stroking her jaw.

Rein takes hold of my wrists, and she licks her lips, her eyes watering. “I spent so long questioning the validity of your feelings toward me, but now all I can think about is the genuineness of mine.” My gut clenches painfully at her admission, I pull away and rub the back of my neck. “Talon, it wouldn’t be fair to you to continue when I have all these doubts in my mind about us. Wouldn’t you rather know that my feelings toward you are genuine, my own.”

I bite down on my bottom lip hard and stare down at the ground, my head and my heart are in turmoil. “I don’t need validation, Rein. You want to know why?” I sigh, slowly moving toward her. “Because Taylor never looked at me the way you do, the love she held in her eyes didn’t steal my breath away.” I whisper, pressing my forehead to hers, “Her kiss never made me weak in the knees the way yours does.” My lips brush over Rein’s as I speak to her in a deep throaty tone and her lips readily part for me. “How are you ever really going to be certain the feelings you have for me are your own, Rein? Unless you’re looking for an excuse to walk away from us, in which case, I won’t stop you.” Rein’s eyes snap open when I step away, putting some space between us.

“Talon—”

I shake my head and shove a hand through my now messy hair in frustration. “I’m in love with you Rein. I love you not only with my whole heart but my soul. If you need time to figure this out, take it, I’ll wait, but only come find me when you’re ready to leave Taylor and this whole mess behind you, because I won’t settle for half of you, I want all of you,” I proclaim. Picking up my blazer I drop a kiss to her temple before I walk off toward the back gate to get to my car with a heavy heart, leaving Rein standing on the porch watching my retreating back.

***

I sigh and check my phone for the millionth time the following morning. Yes, I know I told her I would give her time to get her head straight, but all this waiting and wondering is slowly and torturously killing me. I just want to be with the woman I love. Why must everything with Rein and I be such a tribulation? I wholeheartedly empathise with her situation, of course, what she’s going through isn’t easy, it’s bound to be confusing for her. I really struggled to get my head around it too for a while when I found out, so I can only imagine the state of her mind right now, but I’m certain our feelings for one another are strong enough to withstand all this ambiguity.

Deep down, a part of me was expecting this, I saw it coming, it’s what I feared most when I found out. It’s why I couldn’t tell her because I knew the impact it would have on her and I was right, because she’s not only questioning her feelings for me, but she’s also questioning herself, every decision she’s made until now.

I glance around the classroom at the students working on the art history quiz I gave them to do. I drum my fingers impatiently on the desk, staring down at my phone again.

She’s in class you moron, she’s not going to contact you now, is she?

I groan inwardly. Damn it, I can’t seem to shake this feeling of unease. Thankfully someone up there loves me because the bell rings announcing the end of class. “Guys, please hand in your quizzes to me on the way out. I’m also looking forward to reading your papers on expressionism in Western Europe.” I commend, collecting the papers off each student as they exit one at a time, muttering a half-arsed ‘bye’ on their way out.

I gather the papers and neatly slide them and my laptop into my bag and make my way toward the cafeteria. I notice the corridor is busier than usual while I weave through the crowd.

“Poor Miss Valdez, I really hope she and the baby are both okay.”

My feet halt as I pass through a group of girls huddled around the lockers, conversing. I spin and walk back toward them, my eyes fixed on the brunette. “What did you just say about, Miss Valdez?”

She looks at me surprised, “Oh, uh,” she stammers, her blue eyes darting from her friends and then back to me. “She collapsed in class about half hour ago.”

“What?” My blood runs ice cold while I stare panic stricken at the student and her friends, my heart pounds frantically in my ears. “What class?!” I demand.

“Art block—” The words barely leave her mouth completely before I take off running through the corridor toward the art block, shoving students out of my way. Oh God, please, please let them both be okay.

The corridor in the art block is packed with students and teachers trying to disperse them. Pushing my way through to the classroom I see Penny talking to one of the students just outside the door. “Penny,” she looks up at me and I see the rueful look on her face the second she sees me. I drop the briefcase in my hand and my eyes veer to the door behind her. Moving around her I reach for the handle, but she grabs my arm stopping me. “Professor—” I give her an icy glare and she quickly drops her hand from my arm instantly.

“Move,” I yank the door open and walk into the classroom, mentally preparing myself for the worst. Terror as I’ve never felt before fills me when I see the blood stains on the floor. I ball my hands by my sides to stop them from shaking.

The classroom is empty. “Professor,” I tear my eyes away from the blood and look at Penny. “The ambulance just rushed her to the hospital.”

“Which hospital?”

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