Page 14 of Hook, Line, Infinity, Part 3

Rein

YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING - JAMES MORRISON

Holy sodding shit balls.What is my life? Seriously?!

“What do you mean he’s here?”

I stop mid-pace and stare irritably at my aunt. “I mean, he’s here… in the bloody flesh, in London working at the same university as me.” Her mouth drops open and she gapes at me stunned. I continue pacing the length of the living room in a frenzy. “How is this possible?” I utter incoherently. “And don’t you dare say it’s a miracle, Tia.” I snap tetchily and she shrinks back swallowing her words. “It’s not a coincidence, it can’t be, he must have tracked me down somehow because I refuse to believe that my karma is this mordant.”

“Ay, mama, please sit down, you’re making me dizzy.” My aunt complains gesturing to the empty space on the old-fashioned, floral two-seater sofa she’s sitting on. Have I mentioned I hate this sofa? My Grammy refuses the get rid of it, it’s certainly seen better days and I’m sure my mother mentioned my aunt was conceived on that thing, but alas until all its legs break off, she will continue to keep it.

“Oh my God, this can’t be happening again, this is a disaster. What am I going to do?” I groan, sinking down on the sofa beside her and burying my head in my hands. “Tia, I don’t know how I’m going to handle seeing him day in day out at that school. He’s determined to win me back, but I…”

My aunt frowns and shifts to face me properly. “You what, bebesita?”

“I don’t want my baby to grow up without a father like I did, but I also can’t have Talon in my life and just forget that he broke me.” I admit, staring ahead at the photo of my mother on the wall. “I wish she were here right now, Tia.”

My aunt presses a kiss to my temple. “I promise you, your mother is here, sweetheart.” She reassures me lovingly, sweeping away loose strands of my hair and tucking it gently behind my ear so she could see my face. “She’s always looking over you.”

I shake my head slowly, “I hope for her sake that’s not true, because I would truly hate for her to be bearing witness to my suffering through one horrendous ordeal after another.” I clarify when she fixes me with a quizzical look.

“Your mother—God rest her soul—has been and always will be proud of you and everything you’ve overcome, darling. The older you get the more of her I see in you. You have her strength and you’re both as stubborn as a mule.”

I lower my gaze to my stomach when the baby stirs. What strength? Where is this strength that she’s speaking of? Because I don’t feel strong, I did once, but lately I feel like a failure and a burden more than anything. And now Talon’s back in my life and all those feelings I’ve been keeping suppressed for the past six months have come flooding to the surface again.

I’m an idiot! Why the hell did I allow him to kiss me?!

“Jesus, I have no strength left in me, Tia. I know one thing for certain and it’s that I absolutely can’t control myself around that disgustingly beautiful man. Fuck, I forgot how to breathe when our eyes met across the room. My sense and rationality both go flying out the window when he’s near me. Regardless of the dire pain he’s put me through and the fact I’m still so hurt and angry with him, I still love him damn it.” I fume. My aunt takes my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

“Mi amor, whether you like it or not, this man isn’t going anywhere for a very long time. You’re having his baby and he has a right to be a part of his child’s life. Unlike the pendeja that fathered you, this one actually wants to stick around and make it work with you. Surely that’s got to count for something?” she states calmly. I sit there mutely, contemplating her words while my thoughts run amuck in my head.

Jesus, she’s right. I didn’t even consider that. This baby will tie us to one another. By choosing to keep him I’ve anchored Talon a place in my life forever.

“I want you and I want our baby.”

Well, just because we’re having a baby doesn’t mean I have to forgive him, right? There’s no law that states we’re obliged to be together. If he really wants to be in his child’s life, then we can co-parent. Thousands of people do it every day and I’m almost certain I can be civil for our baby’s sake.

I just need to figure out how I’m going to face him every single day and not die a little inside, which judging by my body’s reaction to him today isn’t going to be a walk in the park.

* * *

Damn you, Talon Saxton.

I didn’t sleep a wink that night. It’s bad enough trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep with a baby bump, but I spent the night restless, tossing and turning, my brain refuses to shut off long enough to give me peace so I can get some rest.

Dread like molten lava is coursing its way through my body while the same question continues to roll around in my head again and again.

What am I going to do when I see him in the morning?

Of all the bloody schools in London the outrageously sexy bastard had to show up in the one I’m working at.

Do I ignore him and give him the cold shoulder until he eventually gives up? What if he doesn’t give up, though? I can’t keep avoiding him, we work at the same school. Shit, what am I going to tell my Grammy? She only recently started talking to me again after I broke the news of my pregnancy to her. Just as I knew it would, it broke her heart. First, she got angry and then she gave me one piercing look of disappointment before she silently ambled back to her bedroom.

Two whole months, she refused to talk to me—she wouldn’t even look me in the eyes. Despite my incessant pleading and apologising she wouldn’t forgive me. Until she came across the first sonogram photo of the baby that my aunt strategically placed on the fridge knowing it would thaw her heart to know I was having a boy… the first one in our family.

With a huff I roll onto my back and stare up into the bleak darkness of my bedroom. I wonder if he’s feeling as restless as I am? Probably not, I bet he’s blissfully asleep the jerk.

Eventually, my brain grew tired of whirring just long enough to let me get some sleep, alas the sun was starting to rise. I manage a total of ninety minutes shut eye before my alarm goes off startling me awake.

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