Page 10 of Hook, Line, Infinity, Part 3

My aunt comes over and kneels beside me on the floor, she takes hold of my face and turns me so I could look at her, “Sweetheart, this is love.” She affirms, combing my hair away from my damp face, “Love isn’t only when things are going well. Love is when you’re hurting like hell but still miss the one that hurt you.”

“I don’t want to love him. I want to hate him, why can’t I just hate him, Tía why?” I weep into her chest. “Fuck the love and the fate that brought him into my life.”

“You don’t mean that, darling.” She says kissing my temple affectionately.

“I do, Tía.” I answer woefully, “I trusted him, bared my heart and soul to him and he just ripped it apart. Every moment we shared, every kiss, every touch was a lie. God, and now all I keep picturing is him thinking about her every time he was with me.”

“I have the right mind to fly out there, find this hijo he puta and rip his arsehole into two.” She utters angrily.

The door to my bedroom opens and I stiffen in my aunt’s arms, mentally preparing myself to face my Grammy who is standing in the doorway in her long cotton, white night dress and a brown bonnet around her head.

“Mi Hija, what is this racket so late? I’m trying to slee… Rein?”

I wince and lift my teary gaze to look up at my Grammy who is staring back at me looking mighty bewildered. She blinks a couple times when my aunt and I both stand from our position on the floor. “Estoy soñando?”

“No Abuela, you’re not dreaming.” I assure her while wiping away the tear stains from my face. This was the part I’ve been dreading. The way her hazel eyes light up when her sluggish brain acknowledges that I’m actually standing before her in the flesh.

“Dios mio, you’re really here. Mi sol, why didn’t you say you were visiting? I would have cooked your favourite food?”

I nod meekly while she walks over to me. In the dim lighting of the room and her frail eyesight she couldn’t see the state of me clearly from afar… but when she gets closer her smile fades and is quickly replaced with a look of worry. “Ay no, que paso? What happened, mi hija?”

This was it. My chance to tell her and likely break her heart and destroy all the faith she had in me. I could put it off but what good will that do? No, I’ll rip it off like a band aid and finally be out with it and maybe then I can stop torturing myself.

Her adoring gaze searches mine while she waits for me to speak. I look over at my aunt and she nods encouragingly. My heart hammers against my chest, my palms start to sweat. “Uhm, Abuela I’m not visiting. I’m back permanently.”

Her thin brows fuse tightly in perplexity, “What do you mean permanently? Por qué? What about school?” she questions.

“I got kicked out.”

“Qué?!” she gasps, the grip of her hands on my upper arms slackens and they slowly drop to her sides. “Why did you get kicked out?”

My eyes instantly well-up at the discontent on her face; I swallow the giant lump and force the words out that seem to be lodged in my throat. “They kicked me out for having improper relations with my… professor.” My voice is barely over a whisper but to my ears it felt like I was screaming, especially in contrast to my Grammy’s eyes bulging out of her skull.

She stood staring at me wide eyed, her jaw slack, evidently too shocked to react nor form any words. Bearing in mind that it was four in the morning, and she was blissfully asleep less than five minutes ago. “Improper relations?” she iterates after a long pause.

I close my eyes and exhale slowly, “I had an affair with my teacher.”

I couldn’t look her in the eyes, so I keep my gaze cast down, nervously wringing my fingers. “Ay cielos,” she utters placing her hand on her forehead and taking a step back. “Not you too. I sent you out there to make something better of your life and what do you go and do? You fall into the same trap as your Tia and mother. Por que?! Did you learn nothing watching how they suffered for their mistakes?! You were supposed to be the smart one, Rein!”

“I’m sorry.” I whimper. “I let you down and broke every promise I made to you, but I fell in—”

My Grammy holds up her hand silencing me and shakes her head. “Don’t you dare tell me you fell in love with your teacher. You couldn’t find a boy your own age to fall in love with? You had to go for the one man that risks your entire future?!” She snaps hotly, her gaze shooting hot daggers that pierce straight through me. If she’s this furious about the affair, I dread her reaction when I tell her I’m carrying his baby?

“Ma, calm down, screaming at her isn’t going to change anything, we can’t change what’s happened. Can’t you see she’s beating herself up enough as it is.” Aunt Dani states moving to my side, she wraps her arm around my shoulders.

My Grammy looks between my aunt and me and shakes her head in disappointment, “Where did I go wrong with you all, huh? How many times must you make the same mistakes before you learn? Where is this man that you risked your future for?” When I say nothing in response and break into a sob, she throws her hands up in the air and mutters in Spanish. “Tu niña tonta, he broke your heart, didn’t he?”

“Ma, there’s more. Tell her, sweetheart, it’s okay.” My aunt urges.

I look at her, tears streaming down my mascara-stained cheeks. “I’m pregnant, Abuela.”

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