Page 61 of Accidentally Perfect

It was like the beginnings of fireworks, but instead of soaring and bursting in brilliant points of colours, they just fizzled out mere meters off the ground. He felt stilted and stiff, like he just totally wasn’t into it or something. I pulled away from him, untangled myself from the blankets and jumped out of the tray. Cold air hit my arms and legs, but I ignored it.

“Barlow?”

I turned back to him and opened my mouth, but had no idea what to say so I just snapped it shut and turned around again. I was annoyed by something but my brain was taking a little bit of time working out what it was all about. It hit me just as I felt his hand on my arm and I whirled back to face him.

“You!” I started and saw him blink in surprise.

Which wasn’t surprising in itself; I don’t think I’d ever yelled at him. I’d chastised him and teased him and snarked at him, but I’d never raised my voice at him. I’d been angry with him, but I’d never really acted angry with him. He probably didn’t even know I had it in me to be so assertive. It was certainly a surprise to me.

“You of all people!” I snapped, pointing a finger at him. I stopped, feeling frustrated.

“Me what, Barlow?” he asked, hands up in defence.

“You! You weren’t…” I took a deep breath. “Out of everyone, I thought you’d at least do me the curtesy of not treating poor little fragile Piper Barlow with kid gloves!”

He blinked again. “What? I don’t even know what that means…”

I sighed and threw my arms in the air. “Everyone thinks I’m so sweet and innocent. Like I’ll break if you apply the tiniest bit of pressure. Like I have no idea what I want!”

“Barlow, you’re acting crazy. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“That kiss, Lombardi!” I snapped.

He shook his head. “What about it?”

“What the hell was that?”

His eyebrows drew together and his lips thinned. “Not usually the response I get.”

“No, I doubt you kiss all the girls like you’re not into it!” I said.

“Not into it?” he huffed a mirthless chuckle. “Not into it? Barlow, I’ve wanted to kiss you all fucking week! To say nothing of the years before that or the fact I want to do more than just kiss you. What the fuck is up with you?”

“So, was it just me? It was no good? I was no good?”

“What?” he asked. “Look, if you’ve got a problem with the way I kiss–”

“Of course I have a problem with it! I’d thought, out of everyone, you’d have kissed me like you meant it. It would have been fireworks and ruined me for every other guy–”

“Right, so you were just looking for the infamous Roman Lombardi experience?” His voice was full of sarcasm. “Well if you’d just said so a week ago we could have skipped all this feelings and hand-holding bullshit, and got down to business.” He crossed his arms and glared at me.

“No, I don’t want the Roman Lombardi experience! I wantedyou, Roman. Whoever that is, I wanted you. I didn’t want your reputation. I just wanted you to touch me like you wanted to, not like you were going to break me.”

“I was trying to be a gentleman, Barlow! I know your reputation as well as you know mine, and I didn’t want to push you.”

“A gentleman? A gentleman! Jokes aside, no one who’s ever met you would expect you to be a gentleman, Lombardi. I knew exactly what could happen if we kept hanging out. I’d like to think I’m a big enough girl to say no if you went too far.”

“I didn’t want you to have to say no!” he cried, annoyed and exasperated. “I’m sorry I was trying to make you feel comfortable with me. I was trying to exert some self-control!”

“Yes, because your goal in life is to make girls feel comfortable with you and you’re well-known for your self-control. It’s not fragile little Piper Barlow at all. I trusted that you – out of everyone in my life – wouldn’t feel the need toprotectme. That you’d be honest and real. What the hell is so wrong with losing control around me? What could possibly happen?”

He was suddenly right in front of me, staring down at me with those dark eyes, his hair hanging over his forehead and masking his face in shadow. That new shiver ran through me and I felt my stomach flutter. I’d never seen him look so intense, and he was known for his intensity.

Our clothes brushed lightly, but he didn’t touch me.

Oh, but I wanted him to, though. At that moment, I couldn’t remember ever wanting anything more.

The air felt charged around us and the hairs on the back on my neck stood on end.

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